I have recently reviewed a thread on cancellations.  A month ago I made a 2 hour appointment with a provider for a Friday night, as she advised that Saturday afternoon she was flying out of town to see a client.
   The day before our encounter she called to cancel because her out of town client wanted to see her a day earlier, and she was flying out Friday afternoon.  No mention of rescheduling or other explanation/rationale.
  At the time, I thought it was OK because it was clear that this was a longstanding client and that the overnight was preferable to a 2 hour encounter.  As I have thoght further, however, I find myself wondering why she just didn't tell me she was ill or some other innocuous excuse and I would have called to reschedule. Now, I am left with the feeling that she just got a better offer and didn't mind blowing me off because of that.  How would others handle/be liked to have been handled in this situation?  Does it happen often?  Should she have told her out of town client she was already booked?  I must admit to mixed feelings.  Thoughts?

The summary of which is...

Always have a backup. Yes, we get anxious to see that "special one" and the fantasy gets killed, but cancellations happen.

Backups should include reputable agencies like AZMystique, TLC, Desert Divas, Scottsdale Elites to name a few. Get prescreened if you have not so you can be ready.

Life happens. The question is how "nice" was she about the cancellation. That is where I get concerned. Sometimes, they are just "short". This is a business of stroking ego's, among other things. And the ladies need to have a nice demeanor when they cancel 'cuz feelings do get hurt (if it were not for feelings, this biz would suffer). But, some of the guys get a bit touchy too.

Always remember. Enjoy! Have a backup. Relax as it will happen again. So be a boyscout and be prepared.

Oh yea, anyone in business, especially a one on one service business, will take a better offer. For the lady, there are "the right things" to say to make it feel" right. If you feel she did not do those things, there are many others that will treat you right who you would probably have better chemistry with.

Peace,


-- Modified on 5/5/2005 10:10:24 AM

I have a slightly different take on this than my friend Justdonebyu.  Much of his thinking is right on target. Things like this do happen and always will. It is also always frustrating. It is just the nature of things in this business. As he suggests, it is always a good idea to have a "plan B" in mind. However, it is not always possible to have a backup plan most especially if you have  a limited time window for play activities, or are interested in meeting particular ladies and we also know that making short notice arrangements to fill the gap can be difficult at best if not impossible. Think different providers would handle this situation differently. Think some would chose to honor the first appointment where others would lean in the direction of going with the bigger booking. Which is the proper course of action? - well, think opinions will vary here. Yes, the lady in question could have given you some innocuous excuse so as to not raise this issue in your mind and perhaps even avoid some of the additional frustration you feel. IMHO, the lady was at least honest with you about things and for that reason alone I would consider giving her another chance.

I must respectfully disagree with Mya and the other hobbyists.  Although I have never been canceled out by a provider I must say that the excuse to cancel for another client is unacceptable.  It really doesn't matter how much of a better offer it is.  She gave you her word and she failed you.  

I run my own business and I do NOT follow the money and leave my newer and smaller clients hanging out to dry.  I have never bumped or canceled any client appointment or obligation for another client.  I do not care how big the client is or how much they offer me.  Has it cost me large sums of money?  Yes.  Why would I do such a thing?  One word: Integrity.  I have been in the business for over 5 years and in that time I have only had 1 client leave me for a slightly better deal with another company.  Only to have that same client back on my door step begging me to take him back 2 months later.

My clients will never leave me because they know that my word is gold.  Now I have more business than I can handle and I charge what I want to charge.  My clients always know that I will be there for them.

One thing that this provider needs to learn is that she possibly just canceled a HUGE long term client (and friend) that could end up doing a hell of a lot more business with her than the client she ditched you for.  Even though I have to respect the honesty of the provider I cannot accept the excuse.

How would I handle this situation?  

1.Never under any circumstances book with this provider again.
2.Write her a RESPECTABLE e-mail expressing your feelings.  Hopefully she will think twice before doing the same thing again.  Obviously you feel that this situation is wrong or you would not have written this post.  You owe it to yourself and she deserves to know about your dissatisfaction.
3.Live and learn from this situation and realize that you do have other options.

I hope my advice opens up the eyes of hobbyists and providers alike.  This hobby is both business and personal and I think that stuff like this should not be tolerated on either end.

Of course, this is just my 2 cents and I hope that you end up doing what you think is right.   Good luck.

Providers are in business, and they know of other Providers.  If a sincere Provider MUST cancel a previously scheduled appointment for whatever reason, I would hope she would have the decency to recommend an alternative.
In my case, I put a lot into my decision to ask a Provider for her time.  I hope that I will impress the Provider as well as she has impressed me, before we have met.  If I would experience a cancellation without an offering of an alternative, I would quickly lose respect for that Provider.  If she offers an alternative, such as suggesting one of her colleagues or a discounted visit as soon as she is available again, I would maintain my anxiousness to meet her.
If a Provider is going to say that providing is her business, and the Provider Business is strictly Customer Service, she should operate in that manner.

we are in this business to 'provide', I think a lot of people tend to take their clients for granted, I hope if I have cancelled on anyone over the past 2 yrs. that I have suggested one of my friends/and offered a reduced rate?  That's the way to go, at least that's what I think. We shouldn't forget that we are in the bus. to provide what each client needs and wants.  It's a great business and I for one really appreciate my gentlemen, but I would not cancel on one to make more money from another, that's creepy. I hope one of these days to get to come to your city, I love it there.

I agree that providers are a business, and this provider is a poor business woman. You do not cancel one client for another last minute unless you do not care if the cancelled client NEVER sees you again. Yes I do understand that in the short term the decision may be more profitable, but long term you now have lost at least one client (we do not know how many other appointments were cancelled, as well as bad word of mouth), and you also have sold your soul to an out of towner who may find someone else eventually and leave you high and dry.

Wonder how a provider might feel if a client cancelled her appointment because a second provider offered the client a discount to do so.

Wow, I didn't think my post would result in such vitriol between providers and hobbyists.  I for one would never cancel an appointment just because I was offered a "better deal".  Maybe as a professional I understand the necessity of honoring one's commitments, but that is another story.  I've heard plenty of slimy lawyer stories.
 My original post started with an episode of The Shield where the escort lies to David Acevedo about a sick sister in order to see a regular client.  He discovers the lie because he lurks outside.  In real life, any innocuous lie would have worked,  and although I would have been disappointed, I would try to find a plan B and try next week..  As it was, the reply bothered me enough that I have not rescheduled (fairly pricy at $$$$$$$) for 2 hours), and I was wondering if I overreacted.  Thanks to all for the info.

My post raised the question about how a provider would feel if a client cancelled an appointment to go with another at a lower price. That is a little different than "shopping the market" before making an appointment. Should I assume from your response that you personally find such behavior from either a provider or client acceptable? The issue isn't if it happens or not out there, the question is what do you consider acceptable behavior.

Yes this stuff does happen on both sides.  If I were you Mya, I would not let anyone that canceled on me like that book with me again.

Lets put all of the money stuff aside in this matter and lets get to the real point.  When you make an appointment with a provider she is depending on you to be there.  If you call up on monday to book an appointment on friday at 7pm you should keep that commitment.  Not only because you should be a man with class but also other long time clients may call up the provider throughout the week that want that spot.  Since she has already committed to you on that date she has to turn those clients away or schedule them at a different time.  Lets say the client calls up on friday afternoon and cancels because he found someone else.  Now the preparation she has done for you is all for nothing, she is left at home on friday night, and she is just hoping that someone calls her really soon.  So if you call up and cancel it better be a damn good reason.

Now lets put the shoe on the other foot.  I am a client that researches and prepares for hours and hours over a period of weeks (yes I am not a typical client because I can never have an appointment that is less than 3 hours but thats a whole different story).  I clear my schedule and make other sacrifices just to see these women.  So if this canceling stuff ever happened to me like this I would be very ticked off and find someone else that would appreciate my time and effort to show her a good time.

My point is that this is not just about money.  It is about the time, effort, and anticipation that goes into each encounter (at least that is my opinion).  Both sides need to think twice before leaving someone else stranded.

Yet again, just my .02.