1 . Coffee, n.
    The person upon whom one
coughs.



2. Flabbergasted , adj.
    Appalled by
discovering how much weight one has
gained.



3. Abdicate, v.
    To give up all hope of ever
having a flat stomach.



4. Esplanade , v.
    To attempt an
explanation while drunk.



5. Willy-Nilly, adj.
    Impotent.



6. Negligent , adj.
    Absentmindedly
answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.



7. Lymph, v.
    To walk with a
lisp.



8. Gargoyle , n.
    Olive-flavored
mouthwash.



9. Flatulence , n.
    Emergency vehicle that
picks up someone who has been run over by
a
steamroller.



10. Balderdash , n.
    A rapidly receding
hairline.



11. Testicle, n.
    A humorous question on an
exam.



12. Rectitude , n.
    The formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.



13. Pokemon, n.
    A Rastafarian
proctologist.



14. Oyster , n.
    A person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddishisms.