All of this recent turmoil has stirred some bitter memories.  Last year someone exposed my relationship with a provider to my family.  The intense feelings of panic, fear, anger, and frustration were, I suspect, second only to those felt by someone confronted by LE.

What got me thinking was reading about how Dingus was investigating, and thinking about how Jenna, like me and my lover, really can never recover.  Discretion and privacy are a lot like virginity...you only lose them once.  In fact, the feelings we experienced really could be described as "violated".

Sure a bunch of macho men can "call out" an offender, but we enjoyed no such support, because my lover was not part of any clique of hobbyists and providers.  And what difference would it make, anyway?  In "Camelot", Arthur referred to revenge as "the least worthy of all motives."  Indeed.  We initially wanted to strike back, and even to do to them what they had done to us (once we figured out who it was,) but fortunately, calmer heads prevailed, and we realized that tearing someone else down--no matter how despicable they are--does not build us up.  To quote my mother, "Never try to wrestle a pig...you just get dirty and the pig enjoys it."

The fact is, we all work and play in a black market industry, and there is no recourse for most of the misdeeds that occur here.  TER provides an exception, when it comes to the transactions that occur BCD, but TER isn't equipped--and isn't the place--for resolving much weightier transgressions such as occurred to us and to Jenna.

To her, we say we are so sorry for what happened to you.  It is unforgiveable, and unspeakably cruel.  We hope that you find a way to deal with it that leaves your relationships whole, and allows you to do whatever it is that makes you happy and prosperous.  That's all any of us should want out of this dark little corner of society.

I have no idea what happened but have some idea reading between the lines in prior posts.  I'm sure this will help in a small way and hope that she has some support.

Sorry to hear about what happened to you last year, that had to have been horrible.

I don't know why people feel revenge is the best way to get back at someone, I dealt with that from my ex for about 17 years. It's not healthy and life is way to short.

Thanks for post!!!

kisses & hugs
Terri

that you come across as truthful and keep things real.  I understand why some may want to shelter who they are or what they do and I am one of them.  I've only met one other girl in this community who has a lot of excellent characteristics as you portray and I believe that is what makes you both so enjoyable to be around. Thanks for keeping it real!  
Sincerely,
your secret admirer  =)

I have sat by for two days. Time to speak out. I'm going to keep this short Ask yourself this why did Agency wait six months to do this to Jenna. No one has any proof lets see the e-mails lets check IP addresses,If not lets leave it alone.

First, let me say that I am sorry that you had a similar experience to the one that this young lady is undergoing. As I understand things, her "outing" took place on Friday the 14Th (right at the Easter holiday weekend - a time to share with family and friends). A coincidence? I think not which makes the action by whomever even more despicable. Perhaps if you had made your situation known at the time there would have been some that would have stood up publicly or otherwise in your support as is happening now. I understand the very personal nature of this type of experience and it is certainly your call regarding whether the matter should remain private and confidential or not. If you elected to keep matters private, (which I  probably would elect to do if it were me), then don't fault the community for NOT lending support.

In the current matter, it is my understanding that the lady attempted to bring this to the public's attention, but was not allowed to. No judgments on my part here for that not occurring. Perhaps her writing style was terribly inappropriate calling for a dismissal of her submission by our moderator. Perhaps she has a history of impolite posts or high drama writings. That I can't speak to nor do I make any judgments in that regard. Were any of those things to be the case however, it does not necessarily follow that she is NOT RIGHT on her current protestations or charges and those should be explored fully by this community.

As I was one of the posters calling for a public discussion of the matter, I find your characterization of a "macho man" insulting quite frankly. I am certainly no form of "White Knight" either for Jenna as I have never met the woman nor communicated directly with her. She IS a part of this community however, and a despicable and unforgivable act was committed against her. IMHO, this community should be outraged and wanting to get to the bottom of things if possible. Further, those who would contemplate committing such heinous deeds should be put on notice that this community will not tolerate such behavior and will work to seek out and identify those perpetrators. Nothing is more sacrosanct, in my opinion, than the safety and privacy of all members here.

I am concerned that a public discussion and evaluation of this matter is not being allowed to happen. No shots intended at Dingus here.  I can appreciated the unique, complex and uncomfortable position he finds himself in. While never having met the man, I get the impression that he is a bright and fair individual. However, our Phoenix community is quite active and has always demonstrated its ability to self moderate and self correct. Don't hold your breath waiting for the proverbial "smoking gun" to be found that will answer the questions once and for all in this matter. Do any of us really think the perpetrator would be so stupid as to leave a trail behind? To invalidate the lady's claim because she may not be able to  offer "hard", direct evidence would be a politically convenient way of getting this "tough" matter off the table but is that just or fair to the victim? Where there is enough circumstantial smoke in the air, there is probably a fire burning somewhere which needs to be found and put "out".

I, for one, am not comfortable delegating this review to a singular individual and conducted in a non transparent fashion. We have an assemblage of bright and articulate people here who have the ability to sort through the wheat and the chafe to arrive at our own informed conclusions.


-- Modified on 4/20/2006 10:14:33 AM

-- Modified on 4/20/2006 12:48:10 PM

Why would a provider, after being "outed" right before Easter make such a big deal about it harming her family then the next day get new photos done and a new ad up?  Seems like if she was that sensitive about family knowing she would be utr for awhile.  Does not make any sense.

You should feel very blessed that revenge is not something this community encourages, if that were the case the wrath would fall upon you in a way that I do not think you would be mentally capable of  dealing with.  For the time being many stand by, anxious for karma to turn in the proper direction, so mighty even the best revenge plot would not have done the true karma justice.    Glad to see you are keeping the peace for the time being.

xoxo
Angelina

I don't know who is guilty, and I keep hoping Dingus will find out and put this to bed, but I'm afraid I'm forced to agree with my hero, Muffyman, that the world may never know.  This is wrong.  Jenna seems to have been certainly hurt, and it may also be that Sean has been unjustly attacked as well as the perpetrator.  I can not state strongly enough how important it is that someone who has the ability (I don't) to collect all of the relevant information and tell this community what really happened.  Until then, I fear that there will be unrest here, and people will continue to be hurt.

We are, in general, an articulate and intelligent group.  I sincerely hope we can get to the bottom of this and get back to enjoying ourselves... particularly because I REALLY want to see one of Sean's providers if he is innocent.  If he's not, I guess I will have to move on.  I can't possibly support someone who would do such a thing.

Fred

Mya...everything you said speaks volumes about your positive spirit and character. Phoenix is fortunate to have you! I can't wait to see you again.