I started this thread in response to a reply in a thread on the Boston board. The main thread is on the NYC board. Please post there so we can consolidate the thread and get more interaction.
thirsty
Because of ignorance, but I doubt very much there are that many who won't. There may be a few but I'd be willing to bet they are few and far between. Money is money and these gal's are going for the dough. Of course they may be worried because all black guy's are huge aren't they? LOL
Because she is basing her criteria on race. So her decision is racist. if she were to choose ONLY to see black men it would also be a racist decision, because it was based on race. Good or bad (however you view it) any decision or choice that is made based on race IS racist.
Frankly, to be brutally honest, I don't care one bit, not even a little, if a provider that I see won't see an entire group of people. I don't ask, but I surely don't think about it, either. The ONLY thing that matters to me is how did my session go and did I get what I bargained for, and that I go home a happy boy. It's hard enough to find a great provider, whether they are prejudiced or not. Probably the last thing on my mind during my session is whether or not the US Civil Rights Commission would give the girl a passing grade.
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Of course they will be labeled prejudiced because they are. Now, you'll hear lots of rationalizations like:
*its my body and I'll do who I want to
*if the actors are black, why isn't it also considered prejudice?
*I can only see who I'm attracted to
*Its a special intimacy (yeah, if feels that way if she's good at her, and here's the important word, JOB.
There will be those rationalizations and many others. The fact is, excluding by race is prejudice. It would be better if they just said, " i don't like black men and I'm nopt seeign them", instead of all the justification nonsense.
Remeber, prejudice exists in the hobby just like anyplace else. People try to rationalize in the hobby just like every place else. People look silly when they try to rationalize it in the hobby just like every place else.
It easier to just call a spade a spade
Its all in HOW one was brought up as a child...there are a LOT of narrow minded folks out there to whom seeing men of color is just out of the question. I dont think its RIGHT, but...to me, color belongs in a box of crayons...not as a "label"...To each his own. A gal has every right to post on her site who she will not see...doesnt make it RIGHT, but then, best you see it on her site and be forewarned, than book a session, and have both of you be very uncomfortable. I guess I was raised differently. In my world, there are no "colored people" (what color ARE they? damn!)...everyone needs to be taken at face value...I see asians, blacks, hispanics..GOOD people come in ALL races, creeds and colors. To limit yourself otherwise is a shame, I think. Is she a racist because she will not see black men? IMHO, yes, and thats sad, but...thats how she was raised. My dtr is bi-racial (hispanic) and LOTS of folks look down at their nose at that..their loss. Nothings ever going to change....Doesnt make much sense to beat a dead horse. To each his own. Its refreshing to see that the kids coming up these days are taught differently..."tolerance" is a BIG issue nowadays.
Such is life, huh?
Again, JMHO! ![]()
I am not talking about myself here, just an observance and gathered info from OTHER providers. I think it is all about preference. If one lady does not want to see black men, that's fine, why push the subject? It is all about who we want to see and if we are comfortable. I have ladies whom I know have many black friends but don't see black men in the hobby.
I attached this article as guideline, not as a racial barometer. I attached an article from WebMD.com about the higher risk of std and aids/hiv transmissions in colored men (hispanic & black). It is sometimes a health issue for some providers and everyone wants to be safe. Just my .02 cents.
Be safe everyone!
Lana
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Lana, did you read the article and do any basic math, or simply draw erroneous, naive, and/or bigoted conclusions? The article cites 126,000 cases in the U.S. (250 MILLION U.S. people overall). 1/2 of these cases its says are blacks (63,000). Subtract 40% (roughly 25,000) for women, and you are left with 38,000 black men.
My dear Solana, there are approximately 10 million black men in the US. 38,000 out of 10 million. Hmm, it seems that your logic and citing that article make no sense, are inflammatory, and is the very stuff that bigotry and prejudice are based in: false beliefs.
You avoid AIDS and other STDs by avoiding unsafe practices, not by avoiding Black men.
Of course, providers (and other sex trade workers) have a much higher rate of AIDS and HIV than Black men. That begs the question, who should be avoiding whom?
OMG!!! I am not even talking about myself!!! I am simply stating about what other providers who I am friends with think about this issue!!! WOW, can't you read? I am not prejudice in any way and I can assure you that I do not discriminate I replied and said below I have seen black clients.
Why does this offend you? Because some women want to make a choice as to who they want to see? Yes you are the consumer, you are the one who pays and we still have the last say as to who we want to see. I am talking here as a provider. I would never discriminate regarding race or disability!
Lana
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I’m a white person, and my work involves lots of different kinds of people. I have had black guys look into my blue eyes and flinch, as they were looking into those of an alien (many of these were FOI types). Meanwhile, I have had kids tell me they liked my hair because it looked soft.
Personally, I have seen black people that I thought looked just great and others that were too far from the aesthetic norm for me that I think are quite ugly. Meanwhile, one of my aunts was black and I loved her because I had known her since I was a toddler. I didn’t care what she looked like.
What I am saying is that we all have a level of comfort regarding the looks of various individuals. Some people may find black people to be unpleasant looking and they may not want to be around them.
Interestingly, I have known three albinos and found their features to make me uncomfortable.
On another note white people and (some) black people have different ways of behaving that may rub each other the wrong way. I have had black people complain to me that white people are too quiet and delicate in their manners and expectations of behavior. Meanwhile, some black men appear to be quite stupid, crude, and callous.
All of this stuff impacts people in different ways. A person that is very sensitized to all of these may not want to be around black people. The question is: is this racism or is it some kind of primordial response to people that are biologically different.
And have any preference you want. But when that choice is based on race it is a racist choise. Just admit it. It is not hard to understand.
Are you ashamed of your prejudice?
Why should I be ashamed when I am neither??? I have seen African-American, Asian and that includes but not limited to East Indian, Japanese, Chinese, Malaysian, Bruneian (I served in the courtesan court of the Sultan of Brunei), Filipino, ETC. I am not a prejudice person! I never was and never will be.
I posted that WebMD article becasue it was a FACT, not an assumption. I was certain of that issue.
Lana
Lana, It is your use of the FACTS that is the problem. Your conclusion, that if one avoids black men it decreases the risk of AIDS, is wrong (the issue is your beliefs, it is immaterial that you do provide to black men-that's nice and a plus, but immaterial to your prejudiced beliefs and conclusions). Based on statistics, you are much safer having sex with a black guy from Alaska than a white guy from Philadelphia.
Your stubborn refusal to acknowledge how FACTS can be misused in the purpose of harming others betrays, perhaps, an underlying bigotry.
Furthermore, having sex with or being friends with a person of a different race does not mean that you are not prejudiced. Racists screw people that they hold racist beliefs towards all the time (P^SSY IS P&SSY after all, dick is dick, and, in the provider case, cash is cash). The test is not one's thoughts and behaviors towards the black (or white) man that one has gotten to know, it is one's thoughts and actions towards the black (or white) man that one DOESN'T know. The one that is the repository of the prejudice.
This is American, you can be a bigot. Most can accept that there are bigots. But hiding or rationalizing is the mark of a coward. And I, for one, have less respect for a coward.
That makes A LOT of sense. You may ask anyone here that I am an equal opportunity provider. The REASON why I posted that article was some provider sent me that article. I used it as an example how providers get freaked out about providing for COLORED PEOPLE! It was in NO MEANS meant for me that I believed it!!! I am in no way a coward, and more of that I am in no way a bigot as you are accusing me. I am quadri-racial and in no way a WHITE person, if you really wanna come down to calling people by color. I am Native American, Spanish (from Spain), Chinese, Filipino, and Canadian Indian. Why in the world would I be a racist when I am all these natiionalities?
To be a racist to me will betray the very things that my grandparents went through. They were both from a different race and that was not permitted in the 30's. So please don't even go there.
Lana
"I served in the courtesan court of the Sultan of Brunei"
Wow...did you ever meet former Miss USA Shannon Marketic? How old were you when you were there?
You must have been quite young, and lucky to get out of there!
I was an actress and a model in the Philippines. I met a lot of PlayBoy bunnies and Penthouse Centerfolds as well as International beauty queens. I served in the courtesan court for 6 months.
Lana
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I'm sorry you had that terrible ordeal.
STATE DEPARTMENT CHILD SEX SLAVE RECRUITMENT
A State Department reliable source has old us that the State Department exported a procedure by which child sex slaves could be used to blackmail foreign diplomats. Our issue #13 depicts the Sultan of Brunei’s sex slaves used to entertain dignitaries, including US. The State Department allows all Saud family princelings free passage under the “special relationship” rubric in and out of the US. This facilitates, among other amenities, abduction of US children. US child sex slaves are used by the Saud family to entertain foreign diplomats, including Washington dignitaries. There is said to be a library in Riyadh containing pictures of world elite in compromising positions with male and female child sex slaves. The Washington Post reports: “The boys are believed to have been 15 to 17 years old. As shocking as this may be, some say it’s routine. A former Bush economic adviser observes, ‘The Sex? That’s done all the time. If a foreign diplomat wants a companion, the State Department provides it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman. They have a special fund set up for that.” Another former NSC [National Security Council] official who requested anonymity says other countries also do it. “I was offered every sexual favor you can imagine. I turned it down all the time. After a while they left me alone and stopped offering me.’ ” F261 Herb Mallard says: “I have personally talked to two girls who had been given to Bandar within the US. One had difficulty rebuffing him in the presence of a prior president. It is well known in Washington Bandar requests blond blue eyed girls for sex.” The State Department usually supports the dignitaries at the expense of the US citizens by saying:: “We can neither confirm nor deny these matters.” What should parents do when the State Department recruits their children for sex with the likes of Ambassador Prince Bandar and his associates? Who do the grieving parents go to for criminal justice?
I loved it there! There was no sex slavery or any force of any kind for me to go there! I was paid $5000/wk plus tips. I was a professional entertainer. It was a legitimate deal. I was flown in from Hong Kong on a private jet. There is not truth to your post my dear and that is Saudi Arabia, we're talking about Brunei that's right near Borneo, by East Asia. Saudi is in the Middle East.
Lana
"the Sultan of Brunei’s sex slaves used to entertain dignitaries, including US. The State Department"
That East Asian goverment has a long standing reputation of kidnapping and enslaving women.
they are also a very big oil producing nation and have many ties to the middle east.
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That every couple that is not bi-racial must be made up of 2 racists? Ridiculous question I know but we are talking about the most intimate activity here. We are not talking about denial of service in a restaurant.
thirsty
One of my points is that people like things that please them. It's a pretty complex issue I'm sure. One may grow up eating American food and find that they just do not like and never want Japanese food. However, this does not mean that they hate that culture. It is simply a case that they have not been socialized to like that kind of food. Surely it is the case that looks have an even greater impact than food.
so you can get to the front of the line and say, "Oh, look at me, I'm a victim!" Get over it, and go find a girl you can have a good time with, already.
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If part of their decision making in choosing a partner involved purposely excluding certain races, then yes. But if race never was a factor then no.
The most common occurance is discriminating in a choice of spouse due to religion...this for some reason seems more acceptable to society. I'll never understand it.
I agree with what some have already said. If somebody judges a person soley on the color of their skin, they are by definition "racist" and "prejudiced". No scientific study showing high risk or low risk (whether true or not) or any other kind of justification is going to change that because skin color is being used as a proxy for something else.
Do I have a problem with it? No. As long as it's a completely private activity I could care less. If somebody wants to have a private club and exclude me because I am not white, or because I don't make enough money, or because I don't play chess, or I am not a cancer survivor etc., go ahead, it's a free world and people can privately associate with whomever they want.
I myself discriminate, I won't see a provider with a moustache. I'm not going to give any excuses or justifications. In fact some of my best friends have moustaches, but it's my personal preference. You can do whatever you want.