hoping someone can help me out...
found multiple calls to 2 local non asian massage parlors. All calls were 1 minute in length.
My husband denies ever having a "massage" at one, but said it was a fantasy type thing...he'd only call to do something taboo...find out how late they were open, etc. This was happening for years apparently.
I then found one charge to his CC to one of the places. He says he went in one time only, paid the $30 fee and freaked out. He says he told them he forgot something in his car and took off..
I know how this sounds, but if you knew my husband...this is just not even on the radar.
Of course, I have no idea what to believe.

My question (finally)....

If I were to go into the parlor with him (he has agreed) or even just with a picture, what would be the chance of them being honest with me about whether or not he was a client? we live in a very small town, and if he frequented as often as he called, I'd think there's a pretty good chance they'd recognize him. Is there some sort of confidentiality agreement between the provider and client? Would they even care?

I truly want no trouble...just that this is a dealbreaker for me and I'd like to know if I should stay married to this man. We have three small children.

Thanks in advance

You came to a hooker board to ask if your husband is cheating.

How did you find your way here? There's your answer.

Attention to him.  If you give him a reason to stay home, he will.  

If it's too late and you two split up, post a pic so we can decide whether you're worth a shot.  If so, you'll make enough to support the kids.

Well, you could have fooled me!

Lady, do yourself a favor. Go and look into to the mirror. Reflect not only on your appearance, but on your obligation as a wife. Are you satisfying his needs? Would he go out on you if you were?  

Let me also add that if he did go to a MP and spent a whopping $30, he wasn't getting much if anything.

Just give him a big sloppy blow job tonight and forget about the rest.

PS: How did you find TER and why come here with your problem? It would seem that you have many better places to ask your questions then on a fuck board.

A/s/l

Got any pics ?

Wanna get even ?

Ms. If this is a joke, then I am a royal ass for posting.

For starters, you would probably pay Thirty dollars just to lay on a table... That amount is nothing and will get him nowhere. You know your husband better than anyone else and although he went to a massage parlor, nothing may have actually happened. Please do not go there with him, the owners will not admit to anything and you will make yourself look foolish...

Ignore any crude comments you may get on this site, however, do take into consideration that there could be a situation in your love life that needs addressing...

People cheat for so many reasons, if you two love each other, get help. Find some way to encourage him to open up about his needs. This could also give you an opportunity to share your desires as well. Everyone has "Fantasies" sometimes we think of ourselves a bit too much and not our loved ones, it hurts , but it happens...

If this does lead to a divorice, which I hope doesn't happen, be civil for the sake of the children. Divorices are toxic, however, staying in a bad situation is toxic too.

Good luck Ms.

KingBuffet

I am a wife too. You know the answer to your question already. No need to go to the massage parlor. You would not find answers there anyway. A marriage is full of ups and downs. This is a down, but not necessarily a deal breaker. Work through this and you could find yourself in a better marriage than you ever imagined. The question you need to ask is why. Figure out that and you stand a good chance at saving your family. Do you have the strength to get past the hurt enough to deal with him in a kind manner? You can't improve a marriage without hard work from both of you. I wish you the best and hope you can work through this together as a team.

Posted By: keshlegija

hoping someone can help me out...
found multiple calls to 2 local non asian massage parlors. All calls were 1 minute in length.
My husband denies ever having a "massage" at one, but said it was a fantasy type thing...he'd only call to do something taboo...find out how late they were open, etc. This was happening for years apparently.
I then found one charge to his CC to one of the places. He says he went in one time only, paid the $30 fee and freaked out. He says he told them he forgot something in his car and took off..
I know how this sounds, but if you knew my husband...this is just not even on the radar.
Of course, I have no idea what to believe.

My question (finally)....

If I were to go into the parlor with him (he has agreed) or even just with a picture, what would be the chance of them being honest with me about whether or not he was a client? we live in a very small town, and if he frequented as often as he called, I'd think there's a pretty good chance they'd recognize him. Is there some sort of confidentiality agreement between the provider and client? Would they even care?

I truly want no trouble...just that this is a dealbreaker for me and I'd like to know if I should stay married to this man. We have three small children.

Thanks in advance

I guess the thing that would be a deal breaker for me is the dishonesty.  I don't necessarily mind if my husband is having sex with another woman.  I just don't like him lying about it.  I would want him to just tell me about his need to be with someone else.  Are you upset because he was dishonest/lied to you about it?  Or just because he was with another woman period?  Could you be ok with his need to be with another women once in awhile?  Would you be ok with being with another man once in awhile?  I seriously do not know why couples don't talk about this or consider their sexuality before they get married.  I'm very open sexually and have talked to my ex about sex in great detail - threesomes, homosexual desires, unconventional sexual experimentation, etc.  (he's my ex due to drug addiction - not sex problems)

Please read my post and the post from Cannonhome1 before going on a rant!!

The guys making jokes above are not to be taken serious.

I want men and women to be treated equally and fairly, I really do.

As we get older, we have the choice to become bitter, or compassionate. Compassion works for me.

keshlegija, if you are still reading these posts, PLEASE realize so many things are fixable and use this to get closer with your husband...

Then run from all the sillyness on this site, this is a sensative situation for you and your husband, and the hate here from immature men and women is no help...

Sincerely,

KB

Poor guy.  I can not imagine not being a good wife to my husband & him going to get a rub n tug.  If your not yanking it someone else will, so why are you mad?  Steak & Blow Job day is tomorrow if you care about your kids cook that man a steak & get on your knees to remind him why he married you in the 1st place.  Don't stop until he CIM.  I bet he spends more time & $ on you because you deserve it if your taking care of all of his needs.

Madame, I luv you.

Don't go to the massage parlor with a photo....that will be trouble.  If you are looking at his phone and being sneaky you're going to find something you don't like.  But your instincts were probably telling you something.  Womens intuition is always spot on.  If you think you can get past this then just try to work harder to keep your sex spicy again.  Role playing, lingerie, a night without the kids at a nice local hotel.  Good luck whatever you decide.

First going to a massage parlor is not cheating.  He is paying for sex without love.  It's just another form of masturbating.  Men that like eroticism can make good husbands and fathers.  Decide that first, then decide if you still can accept him with his hobby. If you can, I recommend you help him with it.  If you can take part with him, do it, it will be something you share and may have fun with.  Remember, its fantasy sex, its entertainment. It's like going to a show, and compared to good Cirque Tickets, or the symphony, or a popular concert, it just a little more expensive.

My other suggestion is to ask him to get a part time job to help pay for it, and/or agree to an amount from the budget.  This can be a addictive hobby.  It can get expensive.  Stay involved with the finances.

Oh about your original post, no, don't go, its stupid, they will never out him.  And I think you need to approach it from a position of love. Would you divorce him for masturbating? For looking at porn?

Post a pic.....show us your pussy!!!

What good can come from the massage place telling you that yes your husband has been here?  Do you really think they want to get drug into court?  They won't get involved.  Even if it was an escort.  

You have to ask yourself was it a physical relationship he had or was it an emotional relationship?  If it was a physical relationship where he only went for an hour to for a hand release and a massage is that really the end of the world?  Or did is find someone else and bond with her in a true emotional relationship where he has fallen out of love with you and in love with her?  

Things need fixing but they may not be beyond repair yet.  It is your problem and don't expect the massage place to get involved.

you think  wives would forgive to husbands porno ?
ah aha  in your dreams .. they are against porno even if   he already divorced her - she still be talking about that with her freinds making him a monster because there magazine  such as FHM ( For HOT Man )
when her 15 years old boy visit daddy on weekend ..and you know what her freinds will  advice her?
Go to court   declare him a pervert and not let  any more her 15 old  son see father ..
American wives .. are .. hard case in majority.

Sorry.. but I think many of you agree with me .. but you Ishootcrap at list gave her normal advice.

S

Lady manages to find this board for us guys to rate the skillz of these woman. Lol. This is such a joke. Lady since un knowhow tobuse the ter boatds go check out my reviews an see whay goes on at the massage polar. Ur husband got what he ccan't get at home. Get ur game up lady

Very well said King!

First, if you went... alone or with him... they would not "out" him. Long story, but a friend who regularly saw someone who worked in a brothel asked me to go to the brothel with a gift-bag for her. I went. I was told that "they did not know 'John Doe'" and also had no idea who "jane doe" was.

I do not know your relationship, so I don't know what advice would be best for you. If you are okay with working on your marriage and having him stop this from now on, I would suggest you calm down. Then calmly say "I do not trust your answer. I will not be happy if I learn you are paying for sex; but I will be even more upset if you did and are lying to me, and I will not be able to trust you. So please be honest."

And then, afterwards, when you are able to calmly talk, ask him why he did it, and what he got out of it, and how it makes you feel, and how you can fix this...

Also, do you have any female friends (who aren't in your immediate friend-network; maybe living in another town, from college? who you can trust to not-gab to others) that you can talk to about this? And re. your relationship, would you consider going to couples therapy...regardless?

I'm sorry this happened, and I wish you the best.