I am a little pissed off that the reference exchange seems to only work one way. I exchanged e-mails with a visiting provider hoping to set up an appointment. She asked for references which we all accept as an appropriate and reasonable request. My gripe come with my having provided 5 references from local providers whom I provided references to when I first saw them. Yet, when it's time to provide a reference to another provider they balk or don't reply. They all know me and I even provided hints for the visiting provider to help coax a referral. No play from the locals.
I think they are mad that the visiting providers are taking away their biz. Well, I got news for them. They lose my business anyway. I'm going to send them all e-mails telling them I think it's pretty unfair to not reciprocate. I'll start over and build up new referrals.

Welcome to the world of reference drama. These types of problems can happen anywhere. I recommend that you join a reference site like date-check to keep your references on.

next time you can ask for a TER white list referral before you write a review? BTW, I always answer referral requests

I hope the providers that you are using as references know that you are using them as a reffrence.I keep a list of 5 providers whom I know well and have already asked for permission to use their names as references.

This normally works assuming your references dont disslike you.

You can have my referals anytime

I come to KOP/Philly area often, and have built regulars list, wouldn't mind to do it for you...I respond to my email quickly when I'm on tour. When I'm not working I check my email usually in a 24-48hr period. (I do have a life...wink

Also, you might want to consider maybe a date-check.com I will vouch for you (once we get acquainted) or prefered411.com

Keep in touch...I'm in your neck of the woods every once in a while.

xoxo
Angelina

-- Modified on 12/20/2006 10:45:34 AM

The funny thing is I've used them all before as references, some even to each other, and I know they have checked because they have mentioned it to me when first seeing them. I think the white list or date-check suggestions are what I need to do. First time I've had a problem in 10 years of hobbying. Thanks everyone for your help. Angelina - I'd take you up on seeing you, but, KoP is just to much traffic to deal with coming from Jersey on a weeknight.

otherwise, they may not be responding to be discreet for your sake.  Whenever I get asked for a reference without being contacted by the gentleman in question, if I can, I try to contact him to make sure I am not just confirming his SOs suspicion that he has seen an SP.

It is always best to give your reference a heads up.

xoxox
Anik

-- Modified on 12/20/2006 11:31:38 AM

I echo everyone elses sentiments regarding Date-Check.

I unfortunately have the same problem on the other end.

Since I started, I've email(one Delaware provider) countless of Philly, Jersey, Maryland and out of state providers asking for references. The gentlemen contact these ladies beforehand and gives me hints so they CAN remember them.

I can count on one hand how many women respond to my email/calls. These ladies know who they are~smile!

I used to get upset, now I just verify them through their jobs and 2 forms of ID.

Have a Merry Christmas!