I will offer my .02.
I am first genaration American of East European decent and understand much of recent immigrant "thinking".
Too much to write on my Treo.
Sourh gave a good answer. If you come to the MnG, seek me out and we can talk.
Bottom line for me would be, if you noticed DRAMATIC differences then you owe the rest of us your opinion and you can prefess it as only "your opiniono
On a recent trip outside of philadelphia, I thought it might be fun to find a provider for a little fun. So I turned to TER, found some reviews for a number of different ladies in the city I was visiting, selected one based on 4-5 reviews and had my appointment. She was an eastern european lady, but spoke reasonably decent english. When the lady showed up, she was ok looking, but not nearly as hot looking as the ratings had implied. In addition, her performance was also very average...nothing close to what was claimed in her reviews. Well as we all know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...so maybe this was just one of those cases of YMMV. I was really going to chalk it up to that, when as she was leaving, she asked me if I was a member of TER. I said I was. She then asked me not to review her...claimed she didnt like having that sort of thing done. So I said that if she didnt want a review I would respect her wishes. After she left, something about the way she asked about TER and requested me not to review her bothered me. So I went back to her TER reviews and read them all again very carefully. The grades were steller on her looks and performance..but then upon careful re-reading, I noticed that some of the phrases in the reviews were "off" from the type of wording a native english speaker would use. In addition, the writers made reference to their male anatomy by using a particular word...and I saw it used in virtually all of the reviews. Personally, I believe that either the same person wrote all the reviews, or in fact she wrote them and submitted them.
So here's the dilemma...if I am correct in my assumption that the reviews are not on the up and up...should I submit my own review of what I think was an accurate session..or do I need to keep my comments to myself because she asked not to be reviewed? I have a sinking suspicion her request not to be reviewed is driven by her knowledge that my comments would not have been highly favorable? I'm interested in the opinions of others and whether this has happened to any of you? What did you do?
I have had two providers request no reviews. In each case that request was honored. Had I written them, however, they would have been easily 9/9, not a case of which you speak.
The fact that the provider is listed on TER opens her to the possiblity of reviews. If you don't do it, someone else may. So it is a tightrope the provider is walking if she wants to be listed but not have reviews.
I think reviews themselves are a combination of facts and interpretation. You have certain expectations of the way the session will go based on profile and reviews; i.e., atmosphere, appearance, what occurs during the session. Then you interpret what those facts mean to you and how the session progresses, thus the ratings and the narrative.
Now in the circumstances you presented, what would I do? I'd evaluate, using my own process, how much the provider and session varied from previous reviews and then whether it was enough to signal to others that there is a dramatic difference. And I would be as factual as possible; i.e, the profile and/or previous reviews indicated that these one, two, or three things consistently happen, but in this particular session they were off the table. There's a clear, factual, objective reason to make a distinction. Then decide what is the level of that distinction and value to all of presenting something that was not what it seemed based on those facts in deciding whether or not to post a review.
If it was my *interpretation* or suspicion that the session or provider varied from the profile and/or previous reviews and/or there were other potentialy nefarious background issues, it becomes my interpretation versus others on subjective factors. I'v picked up words others use to describe something because I liked the way they phrased it versus the way I did; odds of that happpening on multiple back to back reviews, however, I agree are slim. Another example, those one, two, or three things mentioned above were on the table, for example, but felt they were average versus what others wrote. The boundaries of difference then become less clear. In this particular case I'd be inclined to honor the provider's request.
Sorry for the long-winded answer. I may be overthinking it but that's how I'd do it. It is important to me to be able to put my finger on a substantative difference rather than an interpretation difference or suspicion difference when there is a dramatic difference from other sessions. You may be completely on the nose with your suspicions but, *for me*, unless I could show them to be factual rather than interpretative, I'd be less inclined to use them and, therefore, honor the provider's request. My right answer may not be any better than someone else's right answer.
I'm sure there's many other ways of looking at it and I hope you hear other thoughts. Good luck.
-- Modified on 9/12/2007 1:42:55 PM
I would NORMALLY honor a lady's request not to be reviewed, BUT..........Your "sinking feeling" and suspicions that her reviews are all submitted by the same guy with poor English skills (or written by HER), are MITIGATING factors that override her request. IMHO you owe this community the honesty of a detailed review IF your experience deviated enough from the shady suspicious reviews. If your experience was very similar to the previous reviews, I'd let it go, and honor her request.
look at her reviews again. Clik on the reviewers name and see how many other reviews they have. If they all have 1, guess what? they're ost likelt self reviews and she needs to be called on it. Shes obviously making a living off them.
just my .02
To keep this site as relaiable and credable as possible I feel you should absolutely give a proper review of this provider. It is important for the next guy.
Tell us who it was. You won't be breaking your promise to her not to review and you'll be helping the TER hobbyist community to some degree.
I will offer my .02.
I am first genaration American of East European decent and understand much of recent immigrant "thinking".
Too much to write on my Treo.
Sourh gave a good answer. If you come to the MnG, seek me out and we can talk.
Bottom line for me would be, if you noticed DRAMATIC differences then you owe the rest of us your opinion and you can prefess it as only "your opiniono
Maybe just offereing some information on the message boards and not in the review database would be helpful for the rest of us. Enough information so that we can be well informed but not so much information that might be considered a "review". This may be creating a grey area but you would be offering the rest of us the info that we need. At the same time you are nit writing a review.
Thanks for all the input gentlemen. I got a number of replies including some PMs and the opinions varied on what to do, although it was definitely skewed towards writing a review. That being said, it seems to me that courtesy is in danger of extinction these days, and I did promise not to provide a review. However, I did not promise not to mention the fact I saw the lady on the boards...so I feel its not inappropriate to mention the lady in question. Feel free to peruse her reviews and come to your own conclusions. You can find her at the following public hyperlink and then search for her on TER....
http://www.city-source.com/sylvia/