Ok, here is the deal. I waited 40 minutes and then got an email that said she got back 15 minutes after our appointment time. I said ok, I'm still around send me your room number and I'll come up. She then said I seemed upset. I emailed saying I wasn't but was confused because we had been talking by email multiple times and she had my number that I wish she would have contacted me. She came back with something else and I again said for her to give me her room number. At this point I get an email saying she feels to much pressure.
My thoughts are this;
I drove two hours to see her even though my business in Philly that day was cancelled. That means 4 hours round trip. I told her I wasn't upset. I have multiple reviews, whitelisted and date-check so I have more than enough verifications. Her saying she felt pressured, I was never nasty and I never said anything wrong. Her reply and saying she didn't want to see me was f---Ed-up.
She said we could meet on her next visit but did not offer an apology or a discount. I'm not gong to out her but I won't see her.
I drove to Philly today and had a set date. The lady gave me her Center City hotel and we emailed within a hour of appointment time. I email letting her know I was there and waiting to see her. I never got a reply. What should I do? If I'm a no-show I get bad mouthed here and on date-check but what should we do when a provider does it?
Something serious might have happened, and she might offer to make it up to you.
I had two people run me around today, it's a fact of the business I showered shaved put makeup on flat ironed my hair put my outfit on all to be canceled on 15 mins before time..,. Did I get mad....ya I won't lie to put that kinda effort into emails and dress as requested to be as fresh as possible and then to be cancelled on is not ideal but it happens. There is always two sides to the story. I can see a repeat
Offender getting in trouble but how do you know If this person is a repeat offender? If she has outstanding reviews then I would assume she isn't a repeat offender and maybe time was just not on her side today?
That only shows the appts she makes it to she looked/perfromed well. Reviews arent allowed to be written for ncns. Guys often do not mention ncns on boards like this for many reasons. Her WK's will come out and trash him, she may deny his allegation, she has his personal info and all that implies, she can go to his hometown city board and accuse him of lying and embarrass him there, etc.
Now I'm not saying thats what any professional lady does that cares about her reputation, but we are talking about a person, in my example, that ncns and never bothered to contact the guy to make it up to him or explain what happened to begin with so we arent talking about a professional to begin with.
On the ladies side when it happens, they are out a ton of money and they went to a lot of prep time getting ready, as you state. Cancelling on each other is a fact of the business that each side does at times, but ncns should be avoided at all costs, imo.
I am sorry you had your cancellations. You had every right to get mad.
Definitely at least give her a full 24 hours to get back to you, and hopefully make it up to you. And I don't believe it's part of the game. Due to other flakes it puts a stigma on the entire community. There are many of us that care about our business and take things seriously. Clients AND providers need to handle themselves like they would at a "real" place of employment. I am sure we could all improve in some way, but it's a shame to get cancelled on at the last minute for no good real reason, and even worse to be a NC/NS!!
If she doesn't get ack to you then really think about how you want to handle it. If she is well reviewed one bad report won't hold much weight and could in turn make you look bad. Or maybe it will correct her from doing this in the future. It's a tricky thing this " hobby".
Happy Hobbying!!!
Lots of good advice in this thread. You need to wait at least 24 hours before posting a NCNS and it should say:
1. I verified the date, time and place at _____ by telephone/text/email/smoke signal/whatever.
2. I arrived at the location on time and phoned/text/email/smoke signal/whatever to tell her I arrived and to get room number. I did not hear from her.
3. I sent her ____ follow up phone messages/texts/emails/smoke signals/whatevers as follow ups.
4. I left after waiting _____ minutes (the longer the better for your credibility).
5. I sent her texts/emails/etc. asking her to contact me and I have not heard from her.
6. I am posting this because other hobbyists should be aware of this situation, but I still would like to hear from her.
Stuff happens, and you shouldn't display anger in your post. But in the same vein people need to know this stuff because it may reveal a pattern. A lot of times one post will prompt others to report their similar experiences, and now a clear pattern is discovered.
But be prepared for blow back. But if you do these things, and maintain your calm, these attacks will prove that the provider is at fault and not you.
This what b/c is for and guys only boards to alert hobbyists. Its the OP's call of course, but the downside, as you suggest as well, can be huge, and he may not fully realize that until it happens and it is too late. Lots to consider before outing her for sure.
Ok, here is the deal. I waited 40 minutes and then got an email that said she got back 15 minutes after our appointment time. I said ok, I'm still around send me your room number and I'll come up. She then said I seemed upset. I emailed saying I wasn't but was confused because we had been talking by email multiple times and she had my number that I wish she would have contacted me. She came back with something else and I again said for her to give me her room number. At this point I get an email saying she feels to much pressure.
My thoughts are this;
I drove two hours to see her even though my business in Philly that day was cancelled. That means 4 hours round trip. I told her I wasn't upset. I have multiple reviews, whitelisted and date-check so I have more than enough verifications. Her saying she felt pressured, I was never nasty and I never said anything wrong. Her reply and saying she didn't want to see me was f---Ed-up.
She said we could meet on her next visit but did not offer an apology or a discount. I'm not gong to out her but I won't see her.
A provider's perspective (not the definitive answer, just my response):
Perhaps it was the way you kept asking for the room number? You were communicating via email once you got there (or text? It isn't exactly clear to me here) and she may have not wanted that in writing. There is something sort of alarming when a guy keeps asking for that. I have an incall in center city and when a client gets there early and keeps asking me for my address via text or email it makes me extremely uncomfortable, even if he has tons of reviews and is white listed. The exact address, room number or apartment number is something that should not be put in writing EVER, in my opinion, and she should have offered to call you or asked you to call her. Or maybe you should have just called her if you had a number to reach her at? Either or both parties could be to blame here, but that was a part if the communication process that was excluded and could have eased things.
Asking for a room or apartment number repeatedly is a trigger for some ladies and once that button is pressed there's no going back.
Also, with all due respect, this was NOT a NCNS, it was a broken appointment. You were in communication via email close to the date start time and she declined to give you the information you asked for in order to consummate the date (her room number). She didn't vaporize or was nowhere to found, you knew exactly where she was. She refused to see you at the last minute and she may even have a disclaimer about that on her web site (I sure do).
So it sounds like a communication problem to me and she exercised her right to not see you. I honestly do not think either of you did anything wrong and I don't think less of either of you. You sound like a perfectly respectable client and plenty of ladies would love to meet you. It is unfortunate that your time was wasted -- I know that can be frustrating and I have definitely been there myself. I don't know the provider in question but she acted within the rights of her comfort zone. yes, you said she was 15 minutes late, but we don't know all the details. Maybe the hotel had a fire alarm earlier that day and she had an hour of her day wasted and it set her back. We don't know all the facts and we don't need to. But it's unfair to attempt to harm her business as reporting her as a NCNS (which she is not) instead of dealing with it privately.
This is a personal business with personalities and feelings involved so a certain percentage of mismatches and miscommunications are to be expected. I wouldn't take it personally.
Best of luck,
xoxox,
Alex
Everything was email. I had given her my number two days prior and again on the day we were to meet. She also asked me to email her from date-check on the morning of the meeting.
I wasn't bugging her. I didn't ask for her room number until she started talking to me by email 30 minutes after our planned meeting time.
I don't understand the issue here with asking for her room number. We had a date, she was late, I was still in the area, she contacted me, if she didn't want to see me she should have never made the date. I was out $120 just going there and parking. Fuel, turnpike fee, and parking.
I believe it was disrespectful.
I agree it was disrespectful. She should have offered some recompense.
I see no problem with the OP asking for her room number. Irregardless of the reasons she was late, she was late. It wasnt like he was bugging her all day prior to the time of the appointment as that would have been unprofessional. He asked her after the appointment time came and went. Perfectly logical. If she didnt like the method he used to ask for the room number she could have spelled that out to him previously or just not responded to the email and called him to not leave any written evidence if that was her concern.
While I agree one should be very slow to out anyone, I do not agree the lady in question didnt do "anything wrong." She did several things wrong. She was late. She cancelled on him last minute. She left him with out of pocket expenses. Now, she is human and lateness is a part of being human and there are many things outside of our control and yes, she does have the right to cancel for her own comfort level. But she should have at least offered a discount or free extended time when she returns. I know this sort of thing happens to the ladies all the time. Yes, all the time and often they are left holding the bag of a ncns on $400, $500 and sometimes substancially more than that. But when it happens the other way around, we shouldnt sugar coat or make it 50/50 as to who is wrong either. Just my 2 cents.
I disagree with your assessment of the lady because you're putting waaaay too much on her and not nearly enough on him (he made some clear errors as well, which I pointed out) and the posting under an alias makes it very easy for you to put more blame on the lady. Ugh, this alias thing rally keeps people from being accountable for what they say but it's a flaw of TER we all have to live with. But this is a discussion board, not a let's-prove-who's-right board. So all opinions are just that -- opinions.
Best, Alex
While I agree one should be very slow to out anyone, I do not agree the lady in question didnt do "anything wrong." She did several things wrong. She was late. She cancelled on him last minute. She left him with out of pocket expenses. Now, she is human and lateness is a part of being human and there are many things outside of our control and yes, she does have the right to cancel for her own comfort level. But she should have at least offered a discount or free extended time when she returns. I know this sort of thing happens to the ladies all the time. Yes, all the time and often they are left holding the bag of a ncns on $400, $500 and sometimes substancially more than that. But when it happens the other way around, we shouldnt sugar coat or make it 50/50 as to who is wrong either. Just my 2 cents.
Hey Love, Most Ladies Want To Talk to you I think there's something wrong if she is willing to meet you without having your phone number. Have you seen her before?