we are all human beings with different personalities and boundaries. Every provider is going to answer this differently, if they answer at all.  

In regards to showering with a client, this was just a debate on Twitter a few weeks ago. I'd be game if it was an extended engagement (around 4H or so) OR if I was prepared for it going in to the date. The reason is two fold. First, I am someone with naturally curly hair, it's a process if it gets wet (have to recondition, put in whatever products, and wait for it to air dry or diffuse it). Although I could easily put it up. Second, I'm a brown person and looking "ashy" is not cute... at all. However, if the person was game to lather my body in lotion and oil to keep it smooth and soft, then that's a different story. Suffice to say, it can be reasonable within limits and it can be a pain if certain parameters are not met.