Question:
Would it be out of the norm or unethical to request a provider to meet first at the hotel bar (if available)? At least it would appear that we are "interested" in one another instead of getting the call with the room number and risking hotel staff suspicion by entering alone and proceeding to the room?
Also would a provider count this time against you if it wasn't excessive and done with a purpose?
My two cents on the question:
This actually sounds like an interesting thought. The providers who schedule like an assembly line or have time management issues would not go for it as it would certainly foul up their scheduling. However, I might think that those who see only a few clients in the course of a day would be likely to say yes.
And I ask for a small cocktail "fee".
S
Personally, I would never suggest it as I do not imbibe, but that's just my thing.
It gives the hobbyist an opportunity to "size you up" prior to the actual date.
S
Probably so; it gives each party that same opportunity. It also gives each person that "icebreaker" that can ease the natural bit of discomfort that comes whenever folks meet for the first time. The idea does seem to have its merits.
On both counts - ask the provider.
The notion of meeting in a bar to check one or the other or each other out is more common than doing so to avoid suspicion, IMO, although I suppose that could be a side benefit. (But then I have this vision of people looking at me wonder what I am doing with an attractive lady in a bar, lol.) And if it is not common practice for the provider to want to meet before meeting, then my guess is it's on the clock time, inasmuch as you are occupying her time. But define "excessive" if you are thinking it's not clock time. Excessive could be 20 minutes to some, 5 minutes to others.
If I were an independent contractor paid for my time, this certainly would be on the clock. You want more time, you pay more cash.
i'm sure many hobbists have thought about this and would like the "ice breaker".
From the provider's point of view, I would assume it's on the clock.
You all can consider me naive, but I would hope that if you have established a "connection" AND there is not a scheduling conflict, this could lead to a fantastic experience AND a "regular".
Yes, I understand +s and -s, it is what it is......better naive than cynical
my 2 cents
This is why the Meet & Greets are great for me -- I get the chance to meet and 'size up' several providers at once. Philly is a long drive for me, so I really don't want any surprises or disappointments. If I don't click with one, I can move on to the next, and even if I don't set something up right then, I'll know who I'm getting if/when we do get together. Most of my experiences lately have been through connections made at M&Gs -- great example being Victoria de Martinique, with whom I connected following the last two M&Gs.
In some ways, your idea is somewhat MORE obvious -- guy walks in off street, meets girl in bar, they go to her room (or vice versa) -- what are THEY doing, LOL? No easy answers... But don't count on it being 'off the clock' -- time and companionship IS what you're paying for, right?
The idea has its merits, but I can't see it for a one hour appointment.
For one thing, if you have an SO, it increases the odds you will be seen in public with another woman. Independents who are single moms or have another regular job, or who even have an SO may not want to be seen in public with a guy either.
If an ice breaker is needed, then sit on the edge of the bed and talk for a few minutes.
No not at all. I am sure most guys might think like you and are just afraid to suggest
Thanks all for your input.
After reading your replies I am torn on if this is a good idea or not. I do agree that this should be paid time. I really didn't look at it as an icebreaker. I would just feel more comfortable associating myself with the provider which ultimatley gives reason to accompany her to her paid room to do whatever. I wouldn't use it as a way to determine if I am making a wise decision with my choice of provider. This site provides that for me.
And a drink never hurts before the meeting(for those of us who drink). But hey this can always be substituted with a coffee or something...
Thing is I don't think it solves the problem of avoiding suspicion. As others have pointed out, it may ADD to the inferred suspicion with a guy in a bar with an attractive lady. If you need some ideas about avoiding suspicion, other than a meeting in a bar or coffee shop, PM me or leave your email here. Not really knowing what it is that makes you feel you are or could be the subject of suspicious looks makes it difficult to give a general answer that is an overall solution.
I hear you southpaw.
I am just trying to come up with ways to make the meeting comfortable for me as I am new to the hobby.
Thanks...
I think it depends on the provider. Once you become a "regular," it is probably more feasible. I used to meet my "regular" provider for a drink or two before heading upstairs. We each had fake stories just in case we ran into someone either of us knew personally. But this provider was an independant who did not have the scheduling conflicts that most providers have.
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