My wife has been more interested in having sex lately...but it still seems rather forced and limited.  All it's doing is making me hornier.  A good session should include some playtime, some mutual oral stimulation and multiple positions but all I'm getting is a very basic "service".

It's like she's trying to push me into this hobby where I think I could finally have my fantasies fulfilled.

*I'm going to go bang my head on a wall now*

She would pounce on me as soon as I walked in the door, fuck me, and claim her responsibility was satisfied for awhile lol

When we just dating she was willing to hit all the angles.

Can the ladies here - who are admittedly probably outliers given they do what they do - tell us WHY this is?

I know men have higher sex-drives because of testosterone. I know that if you stuck the testosterone that's coursing through my body into Tobi's (or 44% of  it, accounting for the difference in mass), she'd be far more aggressive, and far hornier. But still...  Why does it go away once you've been married?

I don't think it has to be this way. I don't think it is inevitable that passion withers over time. I believe that it is common-place - but that is because most relationships are feeble, mediocre things. I have a very critical view of how we - as a species, almost invariably across any culture - tend to choose our mates.

I think people date the people who are easy to find.
I think people almost always take the easy way out - where staying married is easier than divorce, or getting married is easier than admitting you've been wrong and "wasted" 4 years of your life, and the lives of other people involved.
I think people take what they hear in songs about love, and what they read and watch on TV, and they graft it - however untruthfully - onto whomever they happen to be with at the time.
I think people want so badly to feel loved, that they pursue love from anyone who is somewhat appealing to them.
I think people want to give love, so badly, that they are willing to give themselves to someone because the alternative - breaking someone's heart - is just too painful.
I think people justify all kinds of bad chemistry, under the belief that love/marriage takes work and is about compromise.  
I think it does take these things - but I think the nature of that work, and the nature of those compromises is ill-defined.
I think people don't have the right understanding of what a really good relationship feels like.
I think that they model most relationships upon what they've seen and what they know - which means they look at their peers and elders and subconsciously imitate the mistakes of the past. What "feels" right, does so, because it is how they were wired from being kids.

I believe in love. I think it can save your fucking life. And I think it can kill you.
... Yeah. I know. I'm not going to find what I want, paying women - however beautiful they may be - for time and affection.

I hear what you are saying.  Looking back over so many of the times I thought I was in love when I was younger...what a fucking idiot I was.  Real love is tough to find and sometimes people do settle.  I love my wife as a person...she's awesome! And when we got together sexually, things seemed perfect.  I'd found my best friend was also a good sex partner (no homo).  But then what happened....work, a kid, keeping up a home, getting older, more responsibilities.  We got tired.  I don't blame her completely, I haven't exactly kept myself up to what I was 10 years ago either.  But damn...can we at least talk about it without it becoming a fight?  We used to talk about all kinds of taboo topics...now, it's like some priest is going to overhear us and condemn us to hell.  

Maybe it's hormonal on the woman's part...but I thought 40ish was a woman's prime sexual years.  Dammit!

I'm just warning the ladies that if I make an appointment with one of them...the first sog will probably very quick and could probably put a hole in the wall.

Will it be anything like this?

Why not express that to her, I'm sure she's only holding back because she's self conscious.  I think it would benefit the both of you being honest.  Good luck to you sweetie!

That's hilarious!

Tobi: Hilarious! You are too much! And much appreciated and loved! Keep up the good work! You are the life of this board.

It's sad that her posting of a canned response is equated by you as being "Hilarious". You should improve your palate.

I've tried that (discussing our sexual relationship)...it resulted in an argument where apparently I am an insensitive selfish asshole.  It's funny, if I bring up something we did before that was really sexy...she tells me she can't remember it.  She used to have vibrators and sex toys, would drop to her knees in the hallway to give me a bj, would moan and groan and ask for more...but now.  Maybe it's hormonal, the years, all the crap we have to deal with on a daily basis.  

I'll tell you what though...I'm never bringing up seeing a professional for my needs.  I don't think she'd even deal well with me going to a strip club for lap dances.

I have it on good opinion that women hate promiscuity because those type of women threaten a wifes' control of her husband. You'd never take out the trash again lol

Strippers rarely wanna fuck you. They just want your house, car....etc lol

You know in some countries its legal to rape your wife. Lol No seriously don't rape her JUST BEND THAT ASS OVA AND FUCK THE DOG SHIT OUTTA HER.  Stuff it down her throat, she wont have a choice but to eat it.  Lol I know that sounds harsh and all but seriously the way you sound I think it would be worth it and I know it would turn her out.  Increase her libido and all that jazz.  Sometimes women just want you to take it honestly. If not, well thats what hobbying is for haha.

eww sensing "shade"