Sent my ex a text today.

Told her not to worry, but I'd been hit by a car.

Told her that Carol drove me to the hospital where they've been running tests and taking x-rays all day. My head injuries don't appear to be severe, but I have 3 broken ribs, compound fractures of my left leg, and they're debating whether they have to amputate my right foot.

Guess what her response was.

"Who's Carol?"

And some people wonder why we're still separated.