If she is going to disrespect you this badly "before" she sees you, this is indicative of how she will treat you once you actually see her in person. At this late date, even with an apology, I would move on to the next lady on your wish list.
Wanting to be treated with respect has nothing to do with being a "big boy" she is the one that owes you an apology/explanation not the other way around. Do yourself and the rest of us a favor and move on. By saying "do the rest of us a favor" what I mean is when you reward bad behavior, you reinforce the idea in her head that what she is doing is not only acceptable, but profitable for her. Only by "putting your foot down" and refusing to accept bad behavior can we hope to ever change it.
Good luck, and I hope the next lady treats you better.
Hi all
Relative newbie here with a perplexing situation. I set up a meeting with a provider at her posted TER hourly rate. The afternoon we were supposed to meet, she never contacted me with the location deets. I emailed her to check if we were still on for the date. No response. Needless to say it was a letdown. Then midweek I noticed on her profile that she raised her rates. Today she contacts me to see if I would still like to meet with her. No apology for the no-show; fine. I'm a big boy. I still want to see her.
Question is do I bring up the fact that our "original" date that she blew me off on was at the older, lower price, or do I cough up the bigger bucks and say nothing?
Thanks!
The fact that she was not considerate enough to let you know that she was not planing on keeping the date is a major red flag. She owes you an apology so, I would not see her until she has the courage and common sense to address that or you should just move on. If she really wanted to address it a as decent human being, she would had extended you the courtesy of letting you know that, because she messed up, she will be glad to see you at the original amount.It is very fishy that now that she raised her rates, she remembers you but she doesn't remember that she stood you up. Examples like this are what gives us the bad rep. I think that common courtesy applies to all matters in life not just regular businesses.
She's young and only been doing this for less than a year, so I figure maybe inexperience had something to do with it. Still, an apology and clarification on the donation I'm obligated for would be appreciated. I did ask which rate applied to me, new or old, again with no answer, so I'm in the weeds. She's at the top of my "wish list" of providers so I want this to happen but maybe you're right that I should get some answers before proceeding. Thanks!
Any other thoughts from other hobbyists would be much appreciated...
If she is going to disrespect you this badly "before" she sees you, this is indicative of how she will treat you once you actually see her in person. At this late date, even with an apology, I would move on to the next lady on your wish list.
Wanting to be treated with respect has nothing to do with being a "big boy" she is the one that owes you an apology/explanation not the other way around. Do yourself and the rest of us a favor and move on. By saying "do the rest of us a favor" what I mean is when you reward bad behavior, you reinforce the idea in her head that what she is doing is not only acceptable, but profitable for her. Only by "putting your foot down" and refusing to accept bad behavior can we hope to ever change it.
Good luck, and I hope the next lady treats you better.
Kudos to you, Sir Gamber! Now what is going on?! More than one "nice-guy" response lately? Wonder if it's your way of shaking things up for a minute or two.
While I enjoy you doing the "endearing mentor" thing, personally, I'm fascinated with the wild and legendary Gambler lore. Can we please get another nobody-lives-this-kind-of-life post soon?!!!
Yeesh! What's an over-the-hill broad supposed to do, if she can't live vicariously through your escapades?!!
In summation, those who are blessed, would do well to share. So how 'bout spillin' it, Big Guy? Inquiring minds, want to know!
but that doesn't mean that we ever have to grow up. Maybe I should "spill it" in person someday. For an "over the hill broad" you look pretty good to me, but don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold, and all these "nice guys" posts aren't doing my reputation any good. lol
Now please don't tell anyone that I am "kissing up" to a woman old enough to be a "first wife", it's our little secret, ok?
That kind of behavior is unacceptable from providers as well as hobbyists.
I agree that she owes you an apology for the first missed date.
You state that you are going by the rates on her TER profile. Rates on the profile can be and usually are wrong. They are set by the first person who saw her. Many providers don't realize that they can write a problem report and correct their profile.
Always check the providers website and ads, not their profile. Their website and ad are where you will get the current rates.
Now, If it was a TER posted -advertised rate - that is a different story
No, I was watching her website and she changed her rates there same time as on TER. Her rate increase coincided with a brand new expensive looking photoshoot.
I remember my first NCNS. I was on my way, called AND SPOKE WITH HER 15 minutes out to confirm that I'm almost there and that we are still on. I arrive early but wait until the appointed hour to call for the room number: no answer. I walk by the hotel and see the valet guy with a walkie talkie (or undercover cop?), a security guy (or undercover cop?), doorman (or off duty cop?), service people (more cops?). 5 min later, still no answer. I keep walking around the area calling every 15 minutes or so, leaving VM that I just want to know that she's OK. She also had a booker (different number) who was not picking up. I kept calling for 90 minutes just wanting to know that she was safe and OK as my first thought was that she was arrested.
I connected with her booker the next day and she told me that she bartends a local place and sometimes can't pick up if she's too busy. (Note: Although I knew the place, I never figured out who she was.) I also connected with my NCNS date and she explained that she had JUST changed cell phone companies and hadn't figured out her new phone. At 6:45 her working phone worked. At 6:59, she was switched to a new phone with a different carrier company and hadn't thought to tell me that. And she couldn't get my number from her old phone and call me, even from a phone booth? Yeah, right ... 15 minutes before a meeting, you decide you need to go to mall (next to the hotel) and change cell phone companies at the phone store.
HOWEVER, she did apologize profusely before invoking that explanation and we did see each and she really apologized with a 2-for-1 special. It was very good overall.
A few years later, she was arrested for hitting a traffic cop with her car and driving away. She had a scheduled DATE in court and she did not NCNS the judge.
I've had other NCNSes. Some I've just ditched and not rescheduled. I did reschedule many of the ones who apologized, explained and almost always made an extra accommodation to show their remorse.
This girl owes you an apology, for sure, and she should even offer you some kind of compensation: a small discount on her regular rate; a LARGE discount; maybe even a 2-for-1. If none of the above, I suggest you move on.
And repeating: a rate on her TER Profile page is not her official rate and could be outdated. A rate on her recent TER Ad Forum posting should be the correct rate
Thanks everybody. I think I'll move on. She changed her prices both on TER and on her website at the same time she launched a new photoshoot. There are many more beauties out there and respect goes both ways
The fact that she has only been in the hobby for less than a year is no excuse for her behavior. She owes you an apology (which you will probably never see), she should see you at the agreed rate for starters (which will probably never happen). IMHO, she is too flakey to bother with. I don't care how badly you wanted to see her, do yourself a HUGE favor and find someone more dependable. Save yourself a lot of crap and move on. She ain't worth it.
Swim
RUN! Although you didn't get upsold per say, she didn't hold onto her previous rate when contacting you again.
My first and only bad run with a provider was when she began bargaining when we met. Everything went downhill once the money was handed over (above everything her crack was reeking during doggy) . These types of girls are repulsive, no matter how good looking they are.
we were go the night before. The next day, she never responded. If she'd just picked up, or sent a message & said plans had changed, it's not possible to meet, I would have been fine with that. Instead, she wasted a looked forward to opportunity. I had left her messages never got any reply. She is on my personal DNS list. I would not see her IF IT WAS FREE because a wasted opportunity is priceless.
This recently happened to me. I had seen this provider a couple of times and it seemed like everything was going well. I tried to contact her and she never returned phone calls or text messages. I though she had stopped seeing folks but she had new reviews and her ad had changed the price. If she would have returned my text or calls I would have gladly paid the new amount. Now I am just moving on and looking elsewhere.
...look for someone that respects my time. I'd want someone that acts responsibly. She could very well do it again. You would lead her to think it's ok to do what she did if you go ahead and see her now.