Right, here is my input...

Brother, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Most providers actually like not having sex for their time (I may be wrong, but they do enjoy it or find it refreshing if it was different). If you got tested, have documents proving it, that way, you can ensure that she doesn't have to see you naked. You should have no problem seeing a provider. Also, don't get carried away or make things creepy with all the talking about personal life and such. Because when other Johns see a provider, we simply do our deed and don't talk much. You on the other hand, have to be weary of that. Don't creep a provider out with all the personal life stories and such, and make sure she doesn't do the same.

...don't want to get naked but most will be understanding about your weight.

I cannot imagine a lady taking offense to a well worded inquiry (similar to what you've written here) that confesses your inhibitions showing your body and the desire to focus attention (phrased non graphically) on her.  As long as your screening checks out, there should be no issues.

I'll also add that it can be very affirming to meet a very nice girl who accepts you as you are.  I've had some friends that were rather heavy and after they became comfortable with me, they very much enjoyed simple physical touch and affection.  Human beings were designed to be touched and there are plenty of studies out there that show simple touch (even a regular theraputic massage) creates a feeling of safety, acceptance and well-being.  One study in particular found that infants deprived of touch (but given all the other necessary care) either died or developed severe mental/emotional issues as they grew up.  Touch is healing!

thank you everyone, I greatly appreciate all the help
as I've always thought from my lurking ... this board and the people are great!