Let me start off by telling you all about my current situation and then my idea.  Almost every independent provider requires some sort of reference(s) (previous provider, employment, etc.), but this can be an issue for people like me or someone that just doesn't feel comfortable sharing that kind of info.  I have never been with a provider and therefore have no references, and I also work as an independent Futures trader, so I'm essentially self employed.

Any/all of the above present issues that would make it difficult to see an independent provider, but I think independent is the way to go in the long run and also for discretion and avoiding LE (agencies inherently give LE an incentive to bust larger prostitution rings).  So how do I get an independent provider to feel comfortable enough to see me?

Okay, so my solution is very simple; it might even be too simple to work.  Independent providers require references and other info for their own safety, which I completely understand, so I have to make them feel safe that I am not LE or a psycho.  The solution is to simply put the power of arranging the meeting into the provider's hands (no, not incall at her place).  Tell the provider that you will arrange an outcall at any reputable hotel in the area that SHE recommends and at a date/time that SHE suggests.  Basically, she controls where the encounter will occur (kind of like an incall), but it is also a neutral location for me if I am uncomfortable in her usual incall place, which LE could raid or have under surveillance.  She should also feel comfortable that she isn't inviting LE to her incall location or that she is walking into an LE sting b/c she suggested the hotel (time/place).

The keys to this arrangement are obviously finding a highly reviewed provider that does outcalls.  In addition, there would be the added costs of getting a high end hotel room, but this really isn't an issue.  I think I'm going to try this approach depending on what you all think.  In terms of safety/discretion for both parties, I can't think of a much better solution.  So what are your thoughts???  Hobbiyists and Providers both please.

LE can bust you anywhere. The location does not matter. She could still be walking into a room full of LE.

The climate is terrible right now with many cities experiencing busts.

You're going to be hard pressed to find a good independent who is going to agree to your terms with no hobby history and 0 information.

I am a reputable independent who provides many references; my word is accepted as good as gold and currently many of my provider friends aren't even content with some of my clients who are established and wish to remain relatively anonymous with new providers.  In addition to my reference they require information or no appointment because in my area there were at least two clients who were circulating on good references and robbing providers.

You can try your scenario but don't try to force the issue.  You're not going to change any provider's mind if she has determined her standard.

LE has been known to use cars to go places. No reason why they couldn't go to the hotel of 'her' suggestion. Also, how does this assure her you are safe and not dangerous?  That you don't have a habit of seeing providers and walking out without paying, therefore no references (that you would provide). How will she know that you don't have a habit of beating up providers?

In conclusion, LE can be anywhere they want to be and providers need to know they will be safe from you.

Just because she picks the outcall location doesn't mean, for all she knows, you won't be a unsafe person, for various reasons, once you've closed the door behind her. A better approach is to do a search on this subject, on this board, and see what has worked for others in the past. This issue is common and comes up often, so there will be plenty to read. Good luck.

Your approach still does not address the possibility that YOU may be LE.  Even if you were to meet me at 5 star hotel of my choosing at the time specified by me .. what's to stop you from bringing 17 FeeBeeEye dudes along for a ride?


Of course it would take at least 18 to take me down, but i would not want to have to knock all these guys down with my boobs ))


Lemme put it  this way - it is not that hard to screen you if you are self employed as Futures trader and willing to supply provider with your name/last name / home number and name of your company.  Biggest issue with 100% newbies in my personal opinion is their unlimited capacity to cancel at last moment.  And going through time/expense of screening someone "from scratch" only to get NCNS cause he got cold feet ... sucks and in worst kind of way.

If she is an established and well-reviewed provider, why are you so uncomfortable to share your information? If a gentleman doesn't feel comfortable providing me the sufficient information to assure my safety...I have no interest in seeing him.

How does a provider arranging the location assure that you're not LE?

It does not matter if the provider controls the agenda - if you are LE you can bust here any place any time under any circumstances, whether her choice or not.

This sport runs on trust. Your trust needs can be met by TER if used properly.

The lady's trust needs will be met by satisfying her requirements and only that way.

A good way for a noob to begin to build trust in this hobby is

1 join date-check / preferred411 / roomservice2000
2 contact ladies who are members of these services
 for dates
3 write reviews on TER
4 develop a presence here by participating on the  
 boards

This way you will develop a history and a pool of references for those ladies who do not accept the verification services.

The path is all layed out for you. It is simple and straightforward. It requires providing information about yourself - there is no other way in the door.

I just want to clarify that I would provide any information that I could provide, but it's difficult to provide previous references if you don't have any experience with providers lol.

My suggested solution is just to try to make the provider more comfortable seeing a newbie.  After all, everyone had to start without a reference at one point, right?  By giving her control of the meeting location, she should feel more comfortable that I'm not LE setting up a sting with surveillance, etc.  Would an LE really give a provider the choice of say, the 4 Seasons or St. Regis, for a meeting in the next 2 days?  I think that it would be an awful lot of work on short notice to catch just 1 provider.

I really appreciate all the comments and input.  If anyone has any better suggestions/ideas, that would be great too.

Very informative response GoodTimingMan.  I guess using those verification sites is probably the way to go, but I was just trying to find a work-around b/c not all providers use those sites.

Listen to what people are telling you.

I have seen outcall stings in a Four Seasons.  I have seen outcall stings at Ritz Carltons.

You would be surprised at the resources that they will use (read: waste) to concentrate efforts on netting a provider (even it it is JUST ONE).

Get verified through Date-Check or just be prepared to go as far as you can information wise with your first provider.

Ok, we're on the newbie board so I will be nice.  This subject comes up over and over again... and there are many options for you, as others have pointed out here.

Yet you decide that even though you are specifically a challenge to screen, and a supposed newbie, and that you "just (don't) feel comfortable sharing that kind of info" that ladies will accept the terms of screening that you offer?

You ask what we think, I'm still wiping tears of laughter off my face.  Seriously, thank you for the grin!
: )

"In terms of safety/discretion for both parties, I can't think of a much better solution.  So what are your thoughts???"
Do your homework.  Decide what you are or are not comfortable with.  Recognize that you will NOT be able to set terms with ladies that you would like to meet - you accept their terms, or you keep looking for other ladies to meet.

I do wish you many fantastic encounters, and since you're just outta' the gate your enthusiasm to find workable solutions is somewhat charming.  Now, how about listening to the advice of those who have been around for a few years?  There is no need to reinvent the wheel.

.02

lol

Alright, thanks for the responses everyone.  I guess a verification site is the way to go.

In my mind I dont want to give out all of my info, if any.  So many say they destroy information once it is used....but everytime someone gets busted, out comes the little black book full of that information.
After exchanging e-mails and phone calls I offered to see a provider for her 3 hour rate($x10) at a public restaurant of her choice, for dinner....nothing more.  If SHE chose to take it any further we would, if not, I had a nice dinner with a beautiful lady.  The specified date and time passed and she never returned the call.  I had dinner by myself.  Best of luck.

For instance where I live, in the DC metro area, one could easily be in DC, Maryland or Virginia not to mention one of multiple counties or cities.  If I'm a DC cop, I'm not going into Maryland to make a bust for prostitution.  Following this line of thinking, a provider would be more at ease if a gentleman presented this option because it offers some comfort that he isn't LE. I know there are several other areas in the US like this, and this may have been what the OP had in mind.

you  might want to go to ladies that do massage.  Get a couple of dates with a couple of gals that will give you a reference.  Massage with a HJ is pretty good anyway in lue of FS.....

who do not accept the verification sites.

But Lina, what about someone who is unemployed and wants to experience one time with a lady?  I'd gladly supply whatever you need.  However, my home phone is not listed due to being VoIP, my name does show up sometimes when I call from my cell, and I have no company unless you consider "on the side" work that I do under my company's name.  

The absolute last thing I would do if I were to inquire about and be accepted to spend time with you would be cancel.  That would kill any attempt at gaining a reputation, right?  Of course the exception would be a job interview that happens to be at the same time as our rendezvous.  But I'm sure if that happened, it would be a legitimate reason, right?  

So it's been discussed several times on this board, but I still haven't figured out how to get screened with no job.  The last thing I'd want to do is go to an agency and get on some list that is provided to the local paper and potentially be excluded from a job because of that.  It seems the consensus is that an independent is much safer when it comes to that risk.  So how does a newbie get to see someone of your class without a job?  I'm sure I am not the only unemployed potential hobbyist out there.

OMG Lina!!

You my friend have been drinking the Kool-Aid.  Partakers in the "sport" are breaking the law, on both sides.  Most have fake names, ID's, etc.  There is rampant fear of "getting caught", apparently on both sides.  Many are anything BUT trustworthy, come on man

IF you are saying there is Honor Amongst Thieves, well uh, NO.

there is a lot of trust. Providers trust other providers, hobbyists trust other hobbyists and believe it or not hobbyists and providers trust each other, as long as they know who they are dealing with.

Sorry if you have trust issues, but don't project them onto the rest of us. In my many, many years in the hobby, I have found the people to be just as trustworthy, no more no less  as the rest of the population at large.

and FWIW, thieves of either sex are not welcome here.

I don't meet anyone at any time anywhere (even in public in broad daylight with cranky bodyguards surrounding me) without screening them first. I'm not about to go on an accidental date with my uncle or boss, and as others have said, this scenario provides no insurance that you're not LE.

My missed encounters happen with the agency providers.  All my hobbying has been done with independents.  Not that I wouldn't go through an agency, I just don't like having to give up all that information.  Yes the independents have had to either call me several different times or email me several times and give me all sorts of directions but ultimately I rather do that then give some agency my employement information.  The independents i've met with have been pretty satisfied with just asking me a series of questions and only one has actually asked to see my ID.

On another note.  During my rendevous I like to get to the incall location with ample time to spare.  Check out the location for myself, if I feel something isn't right I'll just leave.  LE is smart but if you have an active imagination you know what to look for.

Dear Zachysk:
One other way to verify is to give the phone number of your employer and let her confirm it that way or to blot out the social on some official correspondence from the employer such as mail or ID and confirm it that way. The provider will feel more at ease the more information that she would have to verify you.  However the next question would be how can I give enough without giving to much away?

You can't get verified "first time" without employment info, which you don't have because you work for yourself and if you have an "office number" it's probably your cellphone.

And you can't get verified by reference, because you need to see somebody the first time, which generally only happens after verification by employer info, which you don't have...

Even the verification services are going to require the employer info if you have no references because depending on the service, they need 1-3 references from providers in the network.  And these may be fairly useless depending on where you live.

My best advice is that there are some out there who are willing to go beyond the "must contact you at your office's central number" method of verifying who you are.  I'd start with local providers who are here on the boards.  Asking politely if they are willing to offer an alternate method of verification, given your employment situation will probably not hurt.  Some will, many won't.  Be polite about it and the worst you'll get in most cases is a "no."

It's tough to break in if you're one of the 10% of the economy (and 20% of high-income earners)who have chosen a non-traditional work situation, but it can be done.  Honesty about your situaiton and willingness to ask politely and be turned down is essential.  It is especially annoying if you're one of us introverts who spend 10-18 hours a day in front of trading screens and just want to get out for a fun time without a whole lot of hassle.  Believe me I relate.  But the hassle of getting things set up at the beginning will subside in time.

Considering how many very wealthy guys I know who are in the same situation, I find it somewhat odd that this continues to be a problem.  It's not that any of us can't be verified, it just requires a different approach.

As noted below, a very typical situation is:

1) Self employed, meaning I don't have a "company name" just like you don't.  I report the "business income" on schedule C, which doesn't require me to have any kind of business name.  (Used to have a corp, found it did nothing but cost me money!)  I do have to get a city license in my area, but no business name is required.  The "business name" is my name.

2) No listed phone number.  I find that among my fellow self-employed brethren, at least 50% are now "cellphone only" and the numbers are increasing.  Not unlike your profession, actually...

3) Substaintial trading/investment/interest income.  For me, trading is a part-time occupation.  This is even further under the radar than my self-employment stuff.  If I were to do this full time, there would literally be no records other than my brokerage statements and tax filings.  (Independent trader is about the only occupation out there that does not have to pay any self-employement taxes, business license fees, etc.)

That's not to say that we can't all be verified.  The "self employed" part of my world is backed up by years of participation in industry groups, a few published articles, leadership positions in industry groups, etc.  They all can be verified, but it's a bit less of a "cookie cutter" process than you would encounter with somebody who has a normal job.

The trader guy in me is a bit more difficult, and if I did that 100% of the time it would be tough.  But even there, I can suggest ways of figuring out who I am.  Even introverted traders sitting in front of screens all day do leave tracks all around.

Personally, I'm surprised none of the verification services have cracked that particular nut.  Not that it would help me anyway, since they all seem pretty unpopular and unused in my little corner of L.A.

As I noted below, my approach has been to offer what I can and be gracious about the fact that the answer may often be "no."