What is the proper protocol of providing reference to a provider?

1) First ask if a provider you have seen before whether she would be happy to act as a referee and then provide her email / ph no. to the prospective provider
or
2) Simply provide a recent email correspondence (e.g. one of those "Thank you I had a lovely time" emails from a provider after a session) as reference

2) has always worked for me, but I always wonder if the prospective provider actually calls/emails the "referee"

It is the polite thing to do

It helps jog the memory of the lady you saw so when the lady you want to see asks she is less likely to say "Who?"  

Our private correspondence is our private correspondence. It is very unnerving to have that betrayed. Besides, any lady who is truly following up on references isn't going to take a forwarded -- and possibly faked -- email as a substitute for actually speaking to the lady you want to vouch for you.

unless I misunderstanding what you're describing. Were these thank you emails you're forwarding sent with the expectation that you would show them to others? If not, isn't it presuming on their gesture to do so?

I'm surprised that it has worked for you, because, just for starters, I would expect many providers to be skeptical of emails that could have been altered or completely falsified.

In any event, when a provider asks for references, yes, she usually will want to contact the reference directly, and for her to be prepared to expect the call or email. Otherwise, your reference has no way of knowing whether her request is legit.

Correct protocol would be #1 ask the lady if you could you use her as a reference as some ladies do not provide references.Option #2 is a big No-No for me I have had a few gents try to give me a thank you note from a provider as a reference.

True story I had a gent contact me a couple of months ago I requested 2 references from him and their contact info.The response I received from him was not what I asked for but a thank you email a provider sent him back in 2008!Yes,2008 I couldn't believe someone would save a thank you note from 2008 and try to use this as a reference I mean seriously is he kidding?After several other emails still not getting what I requested I denied the request even after he finally sent the requested info.I find it very weird to send a thank-you email from a provider to another provider in lieu of a reference.I send thank you notes to gents after I see them and it for the gents eyes only not another provider.So,if option #2 has worked for you in the past that's great but option #1 is the way to go if you are serious about setting up an appointment.

Would it be okay with you, if a provider forwarded all the emails you sent her to other providers ?
Would it be okay with you, If a provider took the emails you sent her and posted them for everyone to see on a board?

** If you answered no, to te questions above, then do NOT do option #4

Make sure you know which contact method the provider wishes to use for a reference.

I know many prefer to handle reference checks via email.
I do not give out my phone number except to people I've met, and I rarely even have it on... so a reference check would go unanswered.

I personally like it when someone gives a few details about the reference, so that when I email her she doesn't have to ask for additional info. This slows things down and makes me feel like a pest.

Ie: I saw Carrie Hillcrest for dinner in Dallas in June 2011. We went to Abacus restaurant. I used Preferred411 to book with her, my user name is Bill_S_2938. She has given me an "okay" there. You can contact her by email [email protected].

Even better: I saw Carrie Hillcrest for dinner in Dallas in June 2011. I used Preferred411 to book with her, my user name is Bill_S_2938. She has given me an "okay" there, and I let her know you may be contacting her. Her email address is [email protected].

I always google the email address to make sure it's the same one on their website.