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Newbie - FAQ

Young and no money.
TheApe 1119 reads
posted

I think being young may or may not be a problem.  The issue with age is maturity.  Can you separate hobbying from reality.   DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY CAUGHT UP IN ANY PROVIDER NO MATTER HOW NICE A PERSON.  That could spell disaster for you.

The second issue is money.  You must have money.  No doubt about it.  In light of this fact, you are someone who realistically will have to save up and maybe treat yourself to periodic encounters (once every one or two months).  Do not get yourself addicted and blow money that you will need in your future.  

I am a middle aged person.  Looking back, if I got involved in this in my 20s I would not be able to handle it.  I would have fallen for a provider.   As a more mature person, I know the game.   You have the benefit of getting advice here.  This is what I would say:

As a young guy you should use providers as a TOP SECRET way to develop your sexual confidence.  It will certainly give you psychological leverage over the ladies in your age group who may try to play games with you because they assume you are desperate to sleep with them.   With the hobby in your back pocket you will have a distinct advantage and not feel like you need to help any coed with their 25 page paper in order to have sex.   Do not make it a substitute for your dating life...You still have to develop those social skills.    Once again, tell ABSOLUTELY NO ONE....If anyone ever sees you with a provider just say it is a friend you met.  

For a young guy like you, you never know when a jealous buddy or ex-girlfriend would try to mention your secret to spoil a professional opportunity or even another relationship that you might want to take seriously.  Just my two cents...

akechi2331 reads

Hello, I am a 20 year old college student with no work experience. Because of my current situation I am having a hard time obtaining my first reference in order to visit some of the more established providers listed on this website. However I am not a hobby virgin, I have seen some non-screening k-girls in Irvine, but because of the approach these girls/agencies take(no screening) they also do not offer reference services. Which is all fine and well because I have had some spectacular encounters with these lovely providers, but my hankering for something a little more is biting away at my patience. Anyone have any ideas?

The well known ladies on this website will not consider taking the risk on a newbie to be worth it, and the only ladies that would consider me are the ones that require no screening which is of no help to me. I live in Orange County, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

-- Modified on 1/23/2011 7:44:39 PM

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jinnimixxx905 reads

There's a maturity and income issue there.

However, persistence may pay off.

I have screened individuals like yourself by getting your parent's info and having you call from their house.

That may be an option?

xxx
Jinni
PS. Good luck in your endeavours...

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Carrie Hillcrest1004 reads

Please, please don't do this. Risking your own info is one thing, potentially getting your parents caught up in it is another ball game. It is extremely unfair to them if they aren't consenting to involvement, and imagine how badly that would unfold if something goes wrong.

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JRTLover1067 reads

Providers can call the school to verify enrollment - exactly what a company/potential employer will do.  Then, she'll probably ask for your school ID/driver's license before the appointment begins to re-confirm.  Worked for me, but then again, I'm older and was in a graduate program.  :)

Good luck!  Age shouldn't be a problem - from your post, seems like you're a gentleman and respectful.

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johnymo1554 reads

This probably won't help you in the least,but you apear to be in a great hobbyist region. As i check the local weather every where too see if a storm is on the way. Your in college I thought there was only one reason for a guy to go to college,but the tallent in your area I see why you are intereasted.when I got in to this not even a year ago I thought, wish I started 10 yrs ago when I was your age, but I quickly realized the age thing  and said well I must have waited for a reason.I'm sure I may be to young for some it has not ben an issue yet,but most providers don't have an age preference.If they do respect that and move on there are plenty of women out here my bucket list grows every time I log on,I don't think I will ever have enough time.My best advice conduct your self as gentelmen present your self as a respectable,professional adult treat the Ladies as you would like to be treated.That goes a long way around here, I guess you could always get a permison slip from your folks. Happy hobbying!

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capt._obvious617 reads

skipped the classes on punctuation, spelling, grammer, sentence structure, etc.

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inicky46771 reads

You are fighting the good fight but, IMHO, pissing into the wind on this.  So few people who e-mail, text or IM give a damn about coherent writing and, yes, it's annoying.  I've given up pestering them.  I'm not suggesting you stop, just don't want you to get your hopes up!

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capt._obvious1123 reads

another brand of rum.  Captain Morgan is for intelligent lads.

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shudaknownbetter1014 reads

Agreed a lot of providers don't want to deal with younger gentlemen...  still I must think that some will...  it is an obsticle like some others.  Self employed or retired have more difficult verification.   There have been a few others who have seemingly successfully dealt with youth.  

First, you need to convince the lady you can afford it.  
Second that you'll be respectful...  and not get obcessive.  Some young ladies will not see gentlemen too near their same age as there are boundary issues.    
Third, that you can keep your mouth shut.  

I would suggest that you must be up front about being new...  and willing to provide what ever information required & however long it takes.  

You might try a ISO (In Search Of) on your local regional board.  
skb

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CaseySterling1375 reads

Honestly if you told me this story and wanted to see me I'd refuse you in a second. No offense but if you don't work and only go to school how can you afford to hobby? Also I have never seen a client younger than me!

You need to see a girl who screens but is newbie friendly. Offer to show her your driver's license or school ID.Really that is the only way. Once you get a lady(if she screens or not) ask to use her as a reference. Most ladies won't mind.

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brooke2010423 reads

I definitely agree with highheelbarbie on this one. You have all the odds stacked against you, baby boy.
Although you may be intelligent and nice and sweet, none of the well reviewed ladies will want to hear that you don't have a job. No job=no money. Sad but true hun.....good luck to you though. Keep trying and don't give up...that's the best advice at this point I guess..... :)

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valueadd862 reads

Posted By: akechi
Hello, I am a 20 year old college student with no work experience. Because of my current situation I am having a hard time obtaining my first reference in order to visit some of the more established providers listed on this website. However I am not a hobby virgin, I have seen some non-screening k-girls in Irvine, but because of the approach these girls/agencies take(no screening) they also do not offer reference services. Which is all fine and well because I have had some spectacular encounters with these lovely providers, but my hankering for something a little more is biting away at my patience. Anyone have any ideas?

The well known ladies on this website will not consider taking the risk on a newbie to be worth it, and the only ladies that would consider me are the ones that require no screening which is of no help to me. I live in Orange County, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

-- Modified on 1/23/2011 7:44:39 PM
Sign up for P411, Date Check or RS2K.  I'm partial to P411 since I'm pretty certain that they don't keep your info after verification.  Date Check clearly states that they keep everything.  RS2K has a great rep from Chicago area people...I'd check that board for more info about it.  Whatever you do, don't give out your parents' info like jinnimixxx says.  I can't believe that people would actually do that.  That's absurd...

Honestly, there are a fair amount of prominent providers that don't screen at all, regardless of what they say on their websites and ads.  You just have to try them.  You're more likely to find them in LA than OC.  Target older providers (30+) and those who list their phone numbers.  Do not tell them one thing about your age and circumstances...those are red flags.  Act like you've done it before.  Trust me, if you ask 10, at least 1 or 2 will see you.  Treat her well and then you have your reference.

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inicky461965 reads

...because you can talk to a rep there on the phone and they'll work with you to come up with ways to verify you even if there's no work # to call, etc.  But understand it's no panacea.  Providers will still want to do their own verification on top of that, even if it's only your DL info.  On P411 look look for "newbie friendly" providers.  The others will say "Basic Plus One" or "Basic Plus Two," meaning one or  two provider OKs, which you only can get after you've seen a provider and she's agree to an OK.

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Carrie Hillcrest510 reads

For the love of Pete, that's hazardous enough for someone who actually does know what the heck he's doing. OP, please don't attempt this. If she doesn't care who you are, she's either irresponsible or LE. They don't care who you are either, just that you show up to be arrested.

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inicky46696 reads

I think you're replying to Valueadd and not me, but I don't think he's minimizing the importance of screening.  What P411 does, just to register you, is the same kind of screening a provider would do, including employment check.  There's also a whole laundry list of other verifications they may require, depending on the situation.  As I said, newbies should expect providers to also request drivers license info, too.  That's enough for some providers and doesn't make them unsafe.

-- Modified on 1/25/2011 4:58:34 PM

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valueadd745 reads

Posted By: Carrie Hillcrest
For the love of Pete, that's hazardous enough for someone who actually does know what the heck he's doing. OP, please don't attempt this. If she doesn't care who you are, she's either irresponsible or LE. They don't care who you are either, just that you show up to be arrested.
He knows what he's doing.  He's seen providers before.

No one on this board should expect a provider who's posting under their business handle to say that a number of ladies don't screen.  Why?  Because it would attract unsavory characters.  It's self-preservation.  But guess what?  It happens frequently.  Any client who's been around the block would confirm my point.  Do you really think that a lady who gets back to me 5 minutes after my initial email request to confirm an appointment has actually screened me?  Please.  And what about the agencies that routinely get busted by LE, putting clients' personal info at risk of being revealed to the public?  Are hobbyists really safer because they screen?  No they aren't.  

How many prominent, well-reviewed indy providers on TER have entrapped clients in an LE scheme, Carrie?  I'm all ears.

OP, if you do your research and stick to ladies who, through their prior behavior, have proven to be reputable, the odds of you encountering LE are slim.  Some of those ladies require your real name, age, work info, etc. in order to see them while others only use their spidey sense.  You are no less safe with either person if you've done your research.

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Carrie Hillcrest1491 reads

As far as "knowing what he's doing" -- he doesn't. I believe that would be why he posted on the *Newbie* board asking for advice on "breaking into the hobby". ;)

If a lady -- regardless of where you find her, how established she is, or how many good reviews she has -- doesn't screen, that's a red flag for lack of concern for both her own and her clients' safety. Spidey senses only exist in comic books, and anyone who relies on it is living in a similar fantasy world. I can't recommend a person so irresponsible to anyone, especially a newbie.

If I were a client and I was 99% sure a lady hadn't actually screened me, I'd run like hell; something's wrong with that picture. I'm certainly glad you've not had any trouble because of lack of screening thus far, and I hope your good luck continues.

And, yes, you can be well-established and popular and get caught up with LE -- NO ONE is immune. A well-known, highly reviewed, now-delisted-so-I-can't-name-her lady was busted this summer for being involved with a whole lotta awful stuff. It was a huge shock to a lot of people, myself included, because her online persona was top-notch. You honestly think LE didn't offer her reduced sentencing for cooperating with them? With the amount of federal charges she was facing, who's to say she didn't?

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valueadd497 reads

Lots of people post questions on the newbie board that they already probably know the answer to.  They come here for reassurance, paranoia, etc.  The OP mentions that he's already seen providers and wants to move into this part of the business.  Relative to some of the other OP's on this board, he is not a newbie.  Just someone looking for advice about an unfamiliar part of the business.

Spidey sense doesn't only exist in comics books since a sizable minority of your colleagues on this site use it.

There are a lot of possible mitigating circumstances in your example.  Let's say that some of the "whole lotta awful stuff" included drugs or erratic/violent behavior.  Does that sound like someone reputable to you?  Is it likely that some of this "awful" stuff could have carried over to her work...missed appointments, constant reschedulings, back channel concerns from her regulars?  No and yes.  

I agree with your general point though.  Screening is good for all.  It's too bad that LE or anyone with a few hours to spare can give you an entirely fake persona or impersonate someone else and pass your and any other lady's screening requirements.  Pretty much, ladies' screening requirements have little real informational value aside from weeding out time wasters and clients who are still on the fence about doing this.  Perhaps that's the whole point of it.  It just sucks that providers/agencies tend to keep said sensitive client info even though they say that they won't putting clients' lives at stake if they get caught by LE.

Great back and forth though, Carrie.  If only you lived in my town.  I think I'd enjoy bantering with you over dinner...

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TheApe1120 reads

I think being young may or may not be a problem.  The issue with age is maturity.  Can you separate hobbying from reality.   DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY CAUGHT UP IN ANY PROVIDER NO MATTER HOW NICE A PERSON.  That could spell disaster for you.

The second issue is money.  You must have money.  No doubt about it.  In light of this fact, you are someone who realistically will have to save up and maybe treat yourself to periodic encounters (once every one or two months).  Do not get yourself addicted and blow money that you will need in your future.  

I am a middle aged person.  Looking back, if I got involved in this in my 20s I would not be able to handle it.  I would have fallen for a provider.   As a more mature person, I know the game.   You have the benefit of getting advice here.  This is what I would say:

As a young guy you should use providers as a TOP SECRET way to develop your sexual confidence.  It will certainly give you psychological leverage over the ladies in your age group who may try to play games with you because they assume you are desperate to sleep with them.   With the hobby in your back pocket you will have a distinct advantage and not feel like you need to help any coed with their 25 page paper in order to have sex.   Do not make it a substitute for your dating life...You still have to develop those social skills.    Once again, tell ABSOLUTELY NO ONE....If anyone ever sees you with a provider just say it is a friend you met.  

For a young guy like you, you never know when a jealous buddy or ex-girlfriend would try to mention your secret to spoil a professional opportunity or even another relationship that you might want to take seriously.  Just my two cents...

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brooke2010565 reads

The Ape---- very very good advice for this young lad....:)

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