I think I screwed up.  See...there's this very hot provider locally who I've been trying to make appt with.  She's an independent provider - not on CL - and I think pretty choosy about her clients.  I have been very careful not to say anything disqualifying.  I have followed all her web instructions, filled out her forms.  She asked for "references" and I could not provide as a newbie.  I disclosed enough personal information that would prove I am not LE or a psycho - and she told me that was fine.

Anyway, I fill out a web appt for an appt, I hear from her 24 hours later saying she's booked.  So I go to the following week, and request the same - she tells me she's booked.  So I go back to web form, fill out ANOTHER form for the next following week - this time follow it up with an email - just saying that I want to get a chance to meet, that I'm a generous person - and that maybe if we could talk by phone we could get something finite set up...maybe send me a phone number.

Well I got an email back from her telling me she thinks I'm being too pushy and that it's making her not want to meet with me.

If there's something I've done that I shouldn't, somebody please tell me.  Jeez, I'm just trying to hook up.  I responded with a brief "I'm sorry if there's been a misunderstanding..." but most definitely feel I need to lay low with this provider - and probably just move on.

IMHO, I have not been pushy - but I have been persistent.  I mean, what's a guy supposed to do - he asks for an appt then can't get one.  I don't think just walking away is the right thing to do - but obviously I've pushed further than what this provider is comfortable with - and don't want to "burn" another "bridge" in the future.

Suggestions???

F2

Apparently you said something, or maybe it is the fact you have no references, or maybe you just do not fit her "profile" - whatever the case may be, she just obviously does not feel comfortable seeing you at this time, that is her priviledge. Move on, she is not the only "hot" provider out there.

You weren't wrong or pushy,just persistent.You also weren't crude or obnoxious.You filled out her information form enough that she was satisfied.Your money's just as green as the next guy's.If she doesn't want your money,the hell with her.You've wasted enough time and patience with her.There's a lot more courteous ladies out there waiting for your call,so I'd try someone else.It's her loss.

Just because you have money does not make you as good as the next guy or entitle you to anything. Providers are humans also, sure your money is  green, but the whole purpose in pre-screening and filling out forms is(among other things) to see if you are compatable and if she feels she can provide you with what you are looking for, which could be a far more "courteous" move than accepting your green money. At any rate, yes move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but do not hate on her, most experienced providers are more than happy to "take the loss" rather than have either of you have a less than enjoyable experience.

I hear ya PL...she's just so bloomin' hot.  Me thinks it's time to move on...I'm just not sure what this provider thinks I should do under the circumstances...other than disappear...which isn't an option.  

I don't know Fido,maybe if you're that dead-set on trying to see her,try not contacting her for a few months or so to let her forget you,then try all over again.But personally,I'd still walk.Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Yeah,you've got a valid point WT-101.And I agree with just about everything you've said.But I say the hobbyists are also human too and to say that he was too pushy was kind of a reach. I think that she could've responded with a little classier reply.Just my 2 cents.

...you wanted and tried to see this provider but were unable to.  That's the bottom line.  Please understand that I'm not being hostile.  It's just comical to see a side that's not being seen by any of the other posters, yet it's painfully obvious.  I don't understand the "her loss" responses.  It's your loss since this is who you wanted and you are not being given the opportunity.  O.K., now that I've had to painfully remind everyone of the obvious, let me try to be helpful.  When your first request came back denied with the "booked" explanation, did you consider that she might've had one of her regulars "booked" for that time?  Request the same exact time the next week?  Dumb move.  Perhaps she's seeing the same "regular" client.  Perhaps she's not seeing a client at all, but this time is just not good for her.  Would you rather her deny you by saying, "sorry but I like to watch reruns of The Brady Bunch at this time.  It's my favorite show!?!"  I know, I know, I'm out on a limb here.  But seriously, a provider will keep her denials as simple as possible.  So, you're denied twice and what do you do?  You go back and request the same time the following week and tell her you're a great guy and that a phone call would get this resolved?  Dumb and pushy!! Many providers simply want their initial contacts to be email only.  She obviously felt that you breached that.  Sorry, but I call it like I see it.  Now what you should've done after your first denial is select another (i.e. different) time slot.  Or write her and ask for times that are convenient for her.  If she'd blown you off then, then you could've concluded that either she's got a bad attitude, more business than she can stand, or most likely--that your references are lacking.  Having played it like you did, you're left with the obvious advice that's been given: move on.

Again, it's late and I'm sorry things didn't work out for you.  I'm trying to point out the mistakes and "why" they may have been mistakes.  I don't always preach the gospel here, but so far no one's stepped up with anything solid here in my opinion.  So, take my post for how it's intended--an honest attempt to be helpful.

Move on... get some other experience in the biz.  You might try contacting her again in a few months.  Many providers have short memories - particularly since saving emails and contact info is a bad business practice.  Providers like short very specific inquiries ("August 22 for 2 hours outcall") with references.  Once you have references there may be no problems.  Besides, you may have "fallen in lust" with some other hot provider and wondered "what was I thinking?" when you see the first woman's ad.

JJF,

No problem - you're not hurting my feelings - but there's a major hole in your arguement.  This provider moves back and forth between 2 cities and on one week she was one place about 75 miles from the other.  Now it's possible she has a loyal following, but I'd doubt it.  So I don't really agree with your logic at all but you're entitled to your opinion.

My feeling is that I reached a sensitive threshold with her.  I think she was on the fence to begin with, was willing to make a stretch - but maybe thought my persistent interest was bordering on obcession.  Plus, quite frankly, maybe she's a *itch.  I dunno.  I personally think that if she's NOT interested she'd either move my address to her spam filter, or just flat out tell me to go get lost.  At least she didn't do that, which I interpret as meaning "give it a break dude, and come back later"...which I intend to do.

I contacted another provider and it was really easy to make the connection.  So there you have it.

FF

Ok..how in hell does anyone think he was being "pushy"??  He filled out her "forms", informed her he had "no references" and she ok'd him anyway.  So then, he "fills put her forms again" and requestes an appointment, which she is obviously booked.  By him requesting the same time for another attempt in no way would make me think he was being pushy or that he was possible LE.  If she had a "regular" that she see's at that certain time, rather than her respond with her (in my opinion) harsh response, she should have responded by letting him know that the time he was requesting is otherwise taken and could he suggest another time.  

Basically he did everything she told him to do and she ok'd him.  Sounds to me she was never going to see him in the first place, or she would have worked with him a little better on the time slot.

Has anyone ever thought that maybe the time he was requesting works best for him?  Did she bother to ask him if there was another time that would work better??  If she really wanted the appointment, she would have and if not, then she never should have ok'd him in the first place and rather than responding with "booked" more than once with no inquiries as to "attempting" to working out another time, I wouldnt waste my time on her.

Ive had guys request an appointment for months and for some reason or another the time was just never good for me or them...and in no way did I or have I ever thought of them as pushy or possible LE..its just a matter of bad timing..eventually I have been able to meet them and by all the conversatons between us, the appointment usually is better than most because I felt more intune with them as a person.

A little conversation goes a long way...take it from a provider.

...for confirming what really was going on in my mind.  I thought the reply was a bit harsh and that this provider's just basically I think this a *itch.

F2

By others on this line who proclaim to "preach the gospel", many times such people tend to forget that the gospel they preach is nothing more than their opinion, and we all know what opinions are like---everybody's got one.

...I don't proclaim to "preach the gospel", my remarks weren't harsh and certainly not intended to be.  I simply wanted our newbie to see another side to this than the stupidly useless "It's her loss" mentality that was being spewed forth my people offering no help at all.  I also stated that this was an attempt to help (based on the info that had been given) so I'm confident our newbie knew that what I was giving him was just an opinion.  His reply post to my post seems to indicate that he had no problem with anything I wrote even if it didn't prove to be all that usefull.