how do you tell a provider what services you are looking for when the say in their ad not to discuss specifics over the phone or even in person?  want to meet with provider for intimate toy show but how should i make that known?

I know that it can be frustrating because we all like to be sure that the session we get is the session we want, but one of LE's methods to bust people is to get them on tape stating explicit sexual acts in exchange for money, and that's why most providers will hang up on anyone who does so, and never answer them again.

This is why TER exists, in part.  By becoming a VIP and reading the reviews, you will learn what a gal does and doesn't do, and this will allow you to find someone who will match your needs.

As far as toys are concerned, this is not too often mentioned in reviews, but a few do.

You may find that you will have to meet someone and ante up, then talk to her about the toy thing.

Best of luck with that.

Maybe a catagory of "Likes toy play" should be added to the providers' profile template.  You can inquire about this on the Suggestion and Policy Board if you want.

Specifics are mentioned in the review.  That is why you need a VIP
membership. Toys, prostate massage, CIM and other specific
practices are mentioned more often than not in the details section of reviews.  This will give you an idea of what is on the menu......

You really can't discuss with a provider in advance.  PERHAPS an end run would be to post on your local board an ISO inquiry.
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I agree with all comments.
Another suggestion: Why don't you bring the toy you'd like to use with the provider?
If you can't help yourself but to ask a service-based question (knowing she might hang up and never answer your call again), I'd be very vague.
"Mind if I bring a small toy?" could suffice, IMHO.

I would not rely solely on reviews to find out what a provider does.  Sometimes a provider may do certain things with certain clients, but not every client.  And that just has to do with comfort level, maybe he's a long time regular, maybe she was just in the mood that day - so many different variables.  I would try to stick to the website menu, because if she is accurately listing services, it would be on there, along with the donation for said services.

I don't say a damn thing about my services on my website. It's too public, and the last thing I need is something that says 'she does illegal stuff.' And my friends know that I don't have much of a limit at all. What I would recommend you do, is instead of CALLING, take the time out and complete her screening form. That big Message blank is what that's for: telling her what you want. She can either accept the appointment or not. But don't call, or ask crazy entrapment questions in your emails or on IM. At least show her that you understand the 'rules' of communication that affect her safety and freedom.