I was wondering if anyone had ever had .. a bad experience, with a lady, as far as infections go. Do these ladies get tested regularly? Is it considered impolite to ask them if they do or if they have any known diseases?

Most do get frequent tests and it is not polite to inquire.

but what do you think the answer will be?

If she doesn't get tested do you think she will say, "Oh, No, I don't get tested at all...but no symptoms so I don't worry about it."?

If you ask if she has a disease do you think she will tell you she does?  Advise you to see a different lady that doesn't have something?

If she doesn't get tested, or if she has something and knows it but is still advertising and taking appointments, do you honestly think it is just being directly asked that she is waiting for to tell you?

You can ask but I think no matter what the truth is you will get the same answer.

Web couldn't have said it better!

Seriously.. your going to get the same answer no matter what.

& even being on alert does you no good.
Most men don't know if a girl "cleans" down there too much it creates a PH imbalance & can make it "funky" down there & it's not actually an infection. It's a common lack of knowledge problem that people do not feel comfortable talking about. Woman especially, but it's not like we are taught the in's and out's of the who ha lmfao

Advice.. don't see grimy woman. Keep yourself safe & clean. Respect goes both ways in a good&&  Client/Provider relationship.

&& good luck

Yes, you can ask.

Do you really think any woman is going to say "No, I never test" or "Well, yes actually I have herpes, but the Doctor said its ok now"?

Of course not. Any woman you ask will tell you she tests regularly, and that she's clean. Some will be saying this because its true, others will say it because they aren't about to tell you the truth. So in other words, unless you plan to hook her up to a polygraph before asking, its a waste of time to ask.

The truth is, most women know full well that their livelihood is reliant upon how careful they are, and use protection 100% because of it. Chances are, you are going to be much safer with an escort than a girl you meet in the civie world who assumes things like STD's happen to "other" people.

But, as the saying goes you pays your money and you takes your chances. Assume that every encounter has the potential to be infectious, and use protection to avoid it. There is no such thing as completely risk free hobbying (well ok, it is possible, but it would be pretty danged boring), there is only risk management.

The best way to answer would be this. Always assume that the other person has/has had an infection and use precautions accordingly. You should decide how acceptable this is to you. If you are going to be really uncomfortable forget it. It is impossible to look at a person, or even smell below and know if or not an infection is present. Even if there is an infection, the provider or if you have it, may not know about the presence of an infection.

I second this "universal precautions" idea.

I understand that it's *really* easy to get nervous about getting an infection from having sex with someone you don't know well (heck, for that matter, even from someone you DO know well).

...But, realistically, whether or not the person you're seeing has an infection shouldn't matter all that much because you're using protection, right? Most definitely for anal or vaginal penetration, anyway.  If the person you're having sex with has an infection but you're using condoms, the risk of contracting it is there, but it's pretty small.

The "big scaries" in my book that I concern myself with are primarily HIV and Hepatitis -- because they can both kill you (eventually) and neither of them are curable.  Fortunately these are not easily passed through oral sex (though analingus certainly carries risk for Hep), and there are vaccines for Hep A & B.

Other infections, which are bacterial infections like ghonnorhea, clamidia, & sometimes yeast infections... are treatable with antibiotics, but they're painful, gross, and annoying to have. If someone has one of these infections, it is possible for it to be transmitted to/from the throat, and so if you're VERY CONCERNED about possibly contracting one of these, then I would recommend using barriers for all oral sex in addition to always using condoms for penetrative sex.

good advice from everyone

i would *always* use protection when it comes to my little man, of course, i was more concerned about if anyone had ever picked up herpes from oral contact, kissing or dity, etc

I don't want face herpes but no kissing would be boring

Really good exchange here - as a complete newb (only one encounter to date) I had a lot of your concerns...and still do.

It is all about risk management - no encounter will be 100% safe.

Also, this link might be helpful, in particular the factsheet on condom effectiveness:

I've wondered this too, but considering the nature of that one, I'd be surprised if anyone would admit to it.

(Might be nice if *everyone* admitted it, then people could segregate if they wanted, and not spread it further...like those herpes dating websites...lol.)

How much extra for bb?  
or even:
I just got a bonus at work and really want to try bb.
If she's willing to accommodate you, run, don't walk, for the exit.

Here's some more about herpes.  Of course you can look this up on the web too.

Oral herpes and genital herpes are basically the same thing.  Traditionally Herpes Simplex Virus I (HSV I) was found on the mouth and HSV II was found on the genitals, but you can get either one in both places... and so the more oral sex people are having, the less of a trend there is there.

Doctors suspect that a majority of people carry the HSV I virus -- aka cold sores (HSV II causes cold sores too, though they're often a little more intense).  Some suspect that it's up to 80% of the population, especially considering that sometimes someone can have a mild outbreak early on in life and then never (or very rarely) have an outbreak again.

Many or most people get cold sores/HSV from their family when they're kids.  Though it IS passed via kissing, it can also be passed by sharing eating utensils, sharing drinks, sharing chapstick, and the like (...in most cases only when the other person has a cold sore or just had one or is about to have one).

It is also very possible to give yourself "genital herpes" if you touch a cold sore on your mouth and then touch your genitals.


What I'm getting at here is that even though herpes is a "sexually transmitted infection," it is not uncommon for it to be contracted in an entirely non-sexual way.


The good news is that if you do have it or if you do get it, that a) it won't kill you and b) there are good drugs that can make outbreaks go away almost entirely and shorten the duration/severity if/when you do have an outbreak.