Some women have these in their profile. Once the date has been set up should I explain what i am looking for an email or wait until the meeting? If I send an email I would not be graphic but providers' websites usually say to have no discussion of any sexual activities.

There is no need to discuss it, that's a very good way to never meet her.

never mention anything sexual in a text, email, or any other type of communication.  That's the best way to be placed on her DNS list.  If certain activities are listed in her profile, feel pretty sure she will do them with you, but wait until you are face to face together before saying anything.

if you are looking for role playing and it involved a clothing request and wanted to start at the beginning of the date?

Some ladies will ask for wardrobe requests on their initial contact form, but you should feel comfortable discussing wardrobe/roleplay scenario after you have been screened and before the actual meet.