Newbie - FAQ
Found a girl that may want to meet, nervous about screening
So I found a very nice lady that may actually be interested in meeting with me, however, my concerns are the following:
Im just trying to figure out if this is a normal/reasonable request?
She isn't going to use for anything but screening.
When I am screening I check to make sure you don't have a violent criminal record. I don't save anyone's information. Remember, she doesn't know you. You guys have the luxury of reading our reviews. We don't have anything like that to read to ensure that you aren't going to become violent or hurt us.
If you don't feel comfortable giving your full name, don't give her a fake one. Just wait til you are comfortable, like the other poster said
It's normal to be nervous about this personal info thing and getting screened, etc.
Yes, providers do ask for that info when the guy has no history in the hobby ie. provider references, written reviews, white lists, posting history on this site or belongs to a verification service that can assure the provider you are not a cop, or unsavory character.
Yes, many guys give that info many do not.
Do spend some time reading here to get familiar and comfortable with how this works.
Check the link below for info from the Self-Help Center. Additionally the Self-Help Center can be found on the upper right of most discussion boards. It (the link) is directly under the red and white life preserver. It has a lot of info about how to make contact with a provider and what to expect. It has a section that specifically answers your question and so much more. The link below is one section of the Self-Help Center. Specifically read #1, #2, #3 they refer to references, personal info and so on.
If you can PM me feel free to do so.
I recommend getting the VIP membership. It gives you complete access to all that TER has so you can be informed and enjoy.
I have never been asked for my real name, nor will I provide a real name. With all due respect, that is none of their business. Like anyone else, I use a nickname for hobbying purposes.
Providers who want to verify me with references can in fact verify me with references I give them and my nickname, since that is how other providers would know me.
To answer your specific questions, I don't think this is a normal request, I don't ever provide that info myself, and my suggestion is neither should you. Just find someone else who doesn't require this info.
You have no reviews, unlike Maxwell who has 11. As Jamie and Curly stated, yes, you would have to provide your real name to MOST providers. Even if you signed up with P411 or Date-Check you would not only have to provide your legal name, they also require employment information.
You having NO history with TER or any other verification site will most likely be asked for identification from most providers on TER. All providers have a different screening process and can ask for whatever information they want (within reason) to make sure they are safe.
Now if you have seen a provider already (assuming from your post you haven't) maybe that she won't mind giving you a reference. Even with a references some providers may want more than one. I suggest you do what you feel comfortable with. If you feel comfortable enough to give this information to a provider do it.
If not, just wait until you are comfortable with doing so or like Maxwell said, find another provider who is willing to see you without verifying you.
Now in no way am I suggested you do this, but most BP girls don't request identification. You will want to be careful and chose a girl carefully if you decide to go that route, because you could end up having no choice but to give up your real name if one of them happens to be LE.
Good Luck!
when a guy is contacting ME for MY services. Now, if he is out of town and has TER reviews, and solid refs, no need for real names, because I highly doubt he knows my family, friends, or future employer in New Orleans.
Since you are new, and have no provider references, verification site memberships, whitelists, reviews etc. The ladies need something to screen you with.
Read xyz's response to you. I think he gave you the most complete and accurate advice on this thread.
Text, email, call and tell them your first name your contact number and the number of the job you work at. Someone will call your job asking about you "Is this ____". From a block number of course. Just wants to talk to you and confirm. So, when you give the provider your work number EXPECT to have someone call you.
When you are at the location use the same phone to call again for the location. sometimes you may have to call again. She should be okay with everything and is trying her best to memorize your voice to make sure youre the same person. I seriously doubt she wants ID or a paystub as further proof.
Don't be stupid like that guy that gave a provider a personal check with your address and everything on it. First names are pretty much worthless anyway
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