I am new to the scene and new to this board. Last night, I had a very weird experience. I arrived at a provider's in-call apartment, and from the first moment things were just a little "off." It was my first time seeing this woman, so I apologized for my awkwardness. We sat together sipping some champagne that I brought.

She was very shy and did not say much. I asked her, "So what's on the program?" She looked at me and didn't say anything. Then I said, "Are we going to have sex?" She said, "No. Would you like to take a shower? Have a massage?"

Now I had arrived, well-groomed and showered. I'm an OK looking older guy. She is a young Asian woman, whom I had checked out on TER and found many favorable reviews along with all of the alphabetical qualifications: BBBJ, DATY, CG, etc. But evidently I had committed some faux pas. She quietly got up, with no indication that she had been offended. She returned to the room and handed me back the envelope full of cash that I placed on her sink as instructed. And then she asked me to leave.

It was all very weird. She told me that her handler "Chad" would call to explain. I was completely flummoxed. I told her I was sorry if I had offended her somehow. And I left her place, no drama at all on my part. About a half hour later I got a call from Chad. He said the vibe had felt weird to her. Especially, that I shouldn't have asked her if we were going to have sex.

I have asked other providers some version of the same question. And they usually say something like, "Whatever you want, honey." Chad said that if I ask for sex I will get blackballed. Is this true? Am I not supposed to ask this question?

 My brother, why would you ever say this to a woman under any circumstance. If you have to ask, then you deserve a "No" every time.  It doesn't matter whether she's civvie or P4P.  Why not try a little foreplay instead.  "What's on the Program?"  She thought you were McGarrett from Five-0.    
     Yep, this is an honest rejection--she has every right to do that.      Whenever you have to talk to someone named "Chad", then you know things have gone horribly wrong.  Chad is the only weird thing about this event.  You need to take the 'L' on this one and start over.  Next time, don't play 20 questions with a provider.  Act like you know what you're doing.  --z

human beings--not a machine.  There is no "on" - "off" switch.  

Maybe a much slower approach would have worked.  Since you were sitting together, you could have begun to gently caress her legs, shoulders, etc. and then reached in for a kiss.  Take it slow and let the session develop into fireworks.

either beforehand by email or in person when you arrive.  Providers who don't know you get very nervous.  Had she answered your question about sex and you were a cop she could have been arrested right there on the spot.  Remember they don't know who you are or what your intentions are.  You know you're fine but she doesn't at that point.  If you've done your homework, read her reviews and website you know what's going to happen and what's on the menu.  No need to talk about it.  That is the beauty of TER.  If you have questions about specific acts and don't want to get the Heisman for trying them without clearing it ahead of time ask when you're already well "into" the session.  Same with the money.  Don't hand it to them or talk about it.  When I started I wanted to point it out or make sure they knew I had it because I thought they might not see it and think I stiffed them or they might not find it wherever I put it.  Believe me they will know when you casually put it down somewhere.

Never, under any circumstances do you discuss it.  You have to learn to just go with the flow and let things happen.  She doesn't know you and so to bring up the topic just sends up all kinds of red flags.

You were fine with placing the envolupe.  

A lot of escort dates start with a Hello Kiss.  Or a Hug at least.  The alcohol was a nice touch but unnecessary.  If the date moves into sitting & talking, you should, like a regular date...  make eye contact & get some physical contact.  Holding hands, rubbing arm, back or leg depending on the opportunity she offeres.  Then kiss.  Let it evolve.  Let it become seduction.  

Yes, if you ask for sex or any of the letter things...  you will be shown out & possibly black listed.  Never ever ask about sex or acts.  That IS what reviews are for.

and told you to leave. I've had to do so multiple times, but I don't refund. Please, get some pointers from these wonderful Gents on the newbie board, they will definitely let you know where you can find some information on the do's and don't. Providers have to be SO CAREFUL and even if a girl verifies you, she won't just respond "yes" to that question, unless she doesn't care.

ask something like that, especially in the manor that you did. Her Spidey-sense must have railed.

You both know what you're there for and if you have read her reviews you know if she does what you want so there is no need to talk about money or sex.

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...more thing. It sounds like you were expecting her to initiate things. She was probably waiting on you to start the activities. Many ladies will go ahead and initiate but some won't. If you notice she isn't getting things going then you need to. A previous poster gave you some good ideas on how to accomplish this.

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you sure are hot

OK, thanks for the advice everybody. I guess it was kinda stupid on my part. I was especially not aware of the LEO angle, since I had been screened. But I get the point...

Thanks,
  DB