Not a newbie, but not a frequent flier here either.  Don't see enough ladies to keep asking for references, etc. Thoughts on verification via employment info with established providers on this board?

if a provider wants to verify you at your work, they will often do something like this.  A phone call to your workplace's main number and ask for you with some innocuous reason like reminding you of an upcoming doctor appointment.  Once the call is transferred to your extension, they will hang up.  She now knows that you do actually work where you say you do.  It's as simple as that.  Your employer is none the wiser of your activities.

of course, ask the lady if she has a vanilla email address to contact you from... (for discretion, you?!)