If I'm understanding it correctly providers are the ones who do the whitelisting. Is it alright to ask to be whitelisted while asking if its ok to write a review? Are there things that a I can do to help out this cause? Is it even something worth worrying about? I would think it would make it easier to see some of the higher end or more selective providers but don't know if enough providers look at that kind if thing. Seems all have their own screening process that requires 2 references to see newbies. Thanks in advance.

You can ask to be whitelisted by a provider you have seen.  When I do that, I tell her she can wait until I have posted my review of her, her decision.  Asking if she wants a review is up to you, but I would do it as many providers do not want reviews.  Not sure I understand what mean by 'help out this cause'.  The whitelist is helpful to many of us, but OTOH, many providers do not place much stock in it, from what I have read.  You may still need some outside references to get approved.

Swim

To be valid for anything you must exchange PMs through TER to prove that it's YOU & not a false impersonator.  Again, TER is not a verification service but it does generally affirm that she saw you & you didn't cause a problem.   It may replace some screening requirements but I'd not expect it to replace all.  Every lady has her own screening...  best not discussed on a public board...   that is whatever she requires to be comfortable seeing you.