I would like to have providers vouch for me on my white list - which is presently empty. Is there a tradition or understanding in the hobby culture that I must see a provider more than once before making this request?
But it probably helps if you've written a few reviews too.
A lot of the ladies that use TER as part of the screening process like to see a few reviews too.
White List serves as a provider vouching for the guy. Its lady's way of saying that THIS guy is OK, and I approve of him. He is not a threat.
Now, TER has no rules regarding white lists. TER doesn't require that a review be posted for the provider who provides white list. TER doesn't even say that the actual appointment needs to take place. I have received white lists from providers that I met at M & G and never really had any BCD time with them. Also, I have received white lists from girls whom I haven't reviewed. But these are exceptions and not the rule !!!
That being said most girls will exchange White Lists in return for a good review. The system is very much a quid pro quo system.
-- Modified on 1/2/2013 11:22:22 AM
Curly,
Thanks for the insight - it is very helpful and I appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to help me out.
There is no standard way to use a white list so you can get them even when you don't write reviews, but I think most ladies would appreciate a review before doing so. I don't use the white list like a reference either, but moreso as a Gold Standard of the guys I would see again and recommend. I am willing to provide a 'reference' to most any guy who was clean, respectful, etc. but I will NOT white list a guy simply for that. He has to be extra special for me to give him a white list.
Hi London,
Thank you for your helpful response.
I'm trying to learn the correct practices of the hobby culture because there in a lot of misinformation out there. I appreciate your very candid response. See, I thought that a "reference" and "white list" were the same thing. Now I see that they are not and your opening question to me is a very fair one.
Would you please be kind enough to give me an idea of what you look for in a guy to be "willing to see him again & recommend" or be "extra special" besides being clean, respectful, etc. I'd rather not leave this to my imagination but any specifics you might be able to offer would be very helpful.
Thank you again for taking my time to answer my question.
don't just go by what I say. Many ladies have admitted they do on fact use the white list feature as a ref or a sort of "Ok." I simply do not, because once that white list is up, there is no way for me to tell said lady that even though I gave him a ref, that there are things I did not like about him. This is why I no longer use sites that don't allow for a level of OK if you will.
I tend to white list guys who are entertaining, on time, clean, not overly demanding, and just all around guys I actually LIKE being with. I am sure we all know that a provider can't possibly adore every guy who walks through her door, because chemistry is a major factor...that is how I white list. Just because I had a great time with a guy, does not mean the next girl will and vice versa.
Generally, a guy has never had to 'ask' me to WL him, but I would not be put off if one did. Some providers are very busy and simply overlook such things. They feel if they have given you an ok on a screening site, that's enough. In all honesty honey, it is really no big deal not to have white lists. There are guys here with 40 reviews and not a single WL. Keep in mind too, that not every girl you see may have a membership to TER just because she has reviews. A profile here does not mean she has a membership...she just has a profile set up by the first guy who reviewed her.
-- Modified on 1/2/2013 1:18:05 PM
just because a provider can't see if someone has white lists or not, doesn't mean he has none as there is a way to hide your white lists. All my white lists are hidden..
I am a firm believer that your TER credentials matter a great deal in the entire screening process.
Understand that well reviewed ladies get hundreds of E-mails (it’s one of those hidden costs of business that many hobbyists do not fully appreciate) seeking information, requesting appointments, or just completely wasting a ladies time. The ladies have to make judgments on who to respond to. If they receive an E-mail from a well-respected TER hobbyist, who is active on the boards with a lengthy white list, I will guarantee that they are much more comfortable continuing with the pre-appointment process then they would be receiving a blanket E-mail from some un-known gentleman.
Now does having a lengthy whitelist and review history exonerate you from additional screening? Of course not. I am never offended if a lady wants an additional reference. But at least from my perspective, most ladies accept my TER credentials and use my whitelist as their screening method (i.e. they may quietly contact one or more ladies who have whitelisted me)
So I believe white lists/review history and overall board presence are extremely important. It defines who you are in our wonderful little community.
the one with more of a history on TER would get first bidding on a date and time. It is just easier to see that so and so has 100 reviews, than to go out searching for information on someone new. It's not the white lists I put credence in because as I said, some women will give anyone a white list, but moreso his obvious review history that shows me what he expects, how hard he grades, how demanding he is, etc. That is information you can't really get from a reference because most providers are rather guarded in what they will reveal about a client.
London said she'd rather see a gent with 100 reviews and a board presence versus an unknown gent - but I would MUCH rather see an "unknown" gent who gives me every bit of screening info I ask for *the first time* I ask (or even better, he anticipates what I might need and gives me everything in his intro note) than a prominent poster with 100's of reviews and white lists.
Guys have to decide what info they're comfortable giving out, and ladies decide what info they require to feel comfortable meeting. If both side line up, yay! If not, no harm no foul... as long as there isn't a stringing along process where the gent tries to avoid giving out info that he knows full well is required. That's simply not nice to do to someone and is a waste of everyone's time.
As for WL... every lady approaches it differently so they essentially mean nothing beyond some chick clicking a button. If you would like a WL, I don't see the harm in asking a lady for one if you don't tie your ego to her decision. If she declines for whatever reason, its no biggie in the grand scheme of things. If she gets her panties twisted over you asking for it, then be grateful she showed you how short her fuse is and run! lol
I'm white listed and I got mine even after just one visit but the provider I saw was an active TER member at the time and we really hit it off during our meeting.
It's not really something you can just ask a lady to do just as a lot of ladies won't do all the same things with every client. With white list, just as with bedroom activities, you'll get further if you treat the lady with respect. Good luck.
and therefore she can white list you?