Some chicks have been here as far back as '06,'07, they were being negative because I guess I wasn't threading what they like so about 5providers and 3men started ripping me apart on the board..smearing my name & trying to ruin my reputation.  Am I screwed because they might have sway whether I could be kicked out or not since I'm a "newbie"  although I did have some that felt sorry for me and PMd me for support. WTF should I do? I already notified TER but haven't heard anything back yet..what do u think?

Whom else would you be

First you posted on the Atlanta board with a subject line that included red...White Americans...Blue balls. Khori took exception to the white Americans part but once she saw what you were doing with the Red White, and Blue theme for the 4th she removed her posts and did not comment further. Her character showed through.

Then you posted about why go with old escorts (not an exact quote but close enough I believe. Please correct it if I'm wrong.) You also asked in a derogatory way what could you learn about sex from old providers? Several took exception to this including me. This is the thread that turned into an uproar and I assume you eventually asked TER to remove. (It was removed shortly after I posted to it.) You did apologize in that thread.

You claimed to be the hot thing just 2 years ago but none of us (in Atlanta) can remember you. Your rating average isn't high enough to get you into the All Cities Top 100 as you claimed. It would get you in the lower third of the Atlanta Top 100. You were called out on that.  

Still some offered to help you while stating in no uncertain terms that you had not gotten off on the right foot.  You also responded to an ISO post about ass worship by saying you had a friend that loved it. IF the guy could get you his info so you could screen for her maybe something could be worked out. Khori asked if you are an assistant or screener for providers. It wasn't an attack just a legitimate question.

Now you post here claiming some are smearing your name and trying to ruin your reputation. This hasn't happened. Notice no one has posted about you on the Atlanta board or anywhere else. None have commented about that thread where the train wreck happened. Some even posted to another thread you started and their post was on the subject. TER removed that Red...White...Blue post too it looks like. I can't find it.

No one here has the clout to get you kicked out. Only TER admin can do that and you have to give them reason.  

Your post here is blaming others ie. "some chicks (that) have been here as far back as '06,'07..." You were posting a lot of threADs but no one took exception to that it was your tone and attitude that caused the problem. You actually stated you didn't care. Women had been giving you a hard time all you life, including your mother. It rolled off you like water on a duck's back was your reply.

I notice you haven't placed an ad on the Atlanta ad board. Doing that would be the best way to get your self noticed. Then participate in discussions. Even post a threAD every once in a while but don't make it at others expense. Post photos on the Photo Only board.

Read here on the Newbie Board. Ask questions here. We are hear to help you.

I don't know what you notified TER about but they will likely get back to you. If you sent them a "Contact Us" message check your My Feedback link at the top of the page. That is where they get back to you.

I recommend you spend time reading and observing here to figure out how things work best here and then participate. Those ladies from way back can be your best friends here if you let them. Atlanta is a great place. Make the most of it.

PM me if you like. I'll help but I'm not going to sugar coat things.
xyz23

Hold your head up and be yourself.  I very seriously doubt that they have the ability to get you kicked out regardless of whether your a "newbie" or not.  TER makes that decision based on your actions, not theirs.

it takes time, respect for others, a bit of humility, a sense of humor and occasionally a thick skin to earn a solid reputation and place on the boards.

Obviously, I haven't seen any PM's you've received but I have seen your posts and the responses. My two cents?  

You are enthusiastic about posting and thus your posting style can seem a bit aggressive in a "look at me, look at me" kind of way. Most people do NOT like threADs.

You may be a "newbie" when it comes to posting on TER, but not when it comes to the industry. You probably should qualify your claim to newbie status.  

When you ask for advice or help, and "senior" or experienced folks take time to respond... make sure to respond back to them and Thank Them.  

Escalating any antagonism that may exist by making trouble for others via TER or any other venue is the worst thing you can do when you need friends, mentors and advice.

Just make up, relax and have fun posting. This is nothing more than a bump in the road if you learn from it.

Here and in life you generally reap what you sow. If you present yourself as an attack dog there are many here more than happy to play that game with you and give you back exactly what you are handing out. If you decide to play nice most people will respond in kind so it's entirely up to you how you want to interact with people, but you really can't blame them for how they respond.

I think xyz summed up everything well and gave excellent advice as usual (as have other well respected members in this thread).

When someone posts a threAD (not to mention  several in a short time span) it will likely attract negative attention.  Most don't like it as it seems like a grab for the spotlight.  It can be done, but I would watch other well received threADs to see how the experts do it.  A threAD can be an invitation to kick off a thoughtful discussion or they can just be annoying "look at me" posts.  See which ones fly versus which ones flop and take note of how other successful ladies handle it.

I think it was just the combination of you being new (or maybe not new, but you apparently have had a hiatus and aren't well known at this point), posting several perceived threADs, and then being antagonistic when you were called out on it.  We all have bad days and I don't think anyone's going to hold it against you.  

I can personally attest to the fact that the Atlanta board has some of the most interesting, well spoken, and friendly folks around.  But they are also quick to chime in with an opinion if they feel a sense of fair play or proper etiquette has been breached.  It's all part of what makes our discussions so exciting and lively.  

We all make mistakes, but what is important is how we handle ourselves afterwards.  Do we apologize, learn from those mistakes, and improve ourselves?  Or do we just do the same thing all over again without being able to appreciate that valuable lesson?

In life remember - it's always the next step that is the most important one.

I wish you the best and hope to see you on the Atlanta board.  New, friendly, interesting (and even controversial) opinions are always welcome there.

I couldn't be anyone else but I see that I definitely need to work on myself. I appreciate the help

Ah, this is exactly why I try to stand back and be more of an observer. I'm afraid to post too much and risk offending or upsetting someone. I was just denied access to the providers only board and was instructed to start posting more before I can gain access. So... I guess now I have to post! My goal is to shy away from heavy banter and to keep things LIGHT!

Thank u for taking the time with me, I admit it was a very stupid post, very disrespectful to the theme and the holiday, that was my first mistake. I was desperately, yes I said desperately trying to get some notice from anyone that would remember me. I had posted a ad b4 I got on the board but after this happened I went to check and it wasn't there so I did post another last nite. 2nd mistake engaging in anything negative, when I posted about hair color, I got a response that read IN MY OPINION..CUT IT ALL OFF, it did not say "like I did" which wouldve made since to me, but I ignored that. Then on 2 more post I was sent, from the same person, YOU R SO ANNOYING. Now, I would've loved and excepted advice, but I didn't ask either, I see I should have. I'm not re-defending myself I just want everything clear. Then finally 3rd posting a horrible Thread,  In my mind I thought only the men will reply, well LESSON LEARNED. It didn't help that I was slightly tipsy during this time either which spikes my aggression BUT NO EXCUSES , I WAS WRONG . I DIDNT EXPECT THINGS TO GO HOW THEY DID. I tried to apologize , that made it worse, so I PMd her saying sorry but again made it worse. I FUCKED UP EVERYBODY, my only worry is that I can't recover. I don't think anyone is interested in forgiving me. So...advice on what I should do now?

Thank you sweetie, means alot. I just hope TER doesn't think of my posts as very disrespectful.. It was all a stupid mistake.

Thank u babe, I appreciate that. Trust me not over reacting, I'm a little bit in a hole now. I apologized , so I will just sit back and hope it works out. I should've started with the newbie board..I know now about the threAD. Lots of mistakes , made enemies, its just worse that they are very popular with lots of friends.  I don't want enemies. I love friends but I didn't go about it the right way. Thank you for your time. Xo

Yes babe, definitely do that! Do not be mean, and if someone tries to be mean with you, ignore it. Trust me! You do not want to piss anyone off here. I'm sure you wouldn't do the STUPID thing that I did but that's just my 2 cents. Xo

You are absolutely right, that's exactly what happened. I made myself too aggressive, posted a stupid message and it has almost destroyed me. I'm not blaming anyone but myself. I spiked the aggression and now the consequences. Thank you for your time and advice xo

Thank you for your kind words babe, yes it was a desperate grab for attention, I looked at some recent provider posts and I thought that's what I was suppose to do. Now I know, and I definitely disrespected someone in a negative post as a come back but it made it very much worse. I have learned from my mistake I just don't think I can do well now. So many people saw it, I even got a PM stating that everyone saw it and no one will forget it. All I wanted is for someone from the past to recognize me. Again thank you for your advice.

But the key is taking responsibility for them and more importantly learning from them.  We are human and making mistakes is just part of life.  

One of the most important pieces of advice I ever received growing up was to "think twice, speak once".

Thank you, those are great words to live by. I have taken full responsibility to what I have done. Stupid mistake, was desperate and not humble. I have asked for forgiveness but I was sent a PM saying that everyone saw it and no one will forget it. I feel terrible about this. Never drink and text! I will just do my best. Thank u for your advice.

I wouldn't do anything. I'd just leave it alone. Trying to fix things shines even more spotlight so, again, I'd just leave it alone and let it go. No use in obsessing over it. It will blow over! Don't comment on those threads anymore and try your best  to ignore antagonizing comments.

As the worldly and wise GaGambler would say... Remember the first rule of posting something, when you find yourself in a hole - stop digging.  I have tried to follow that advice when finding myself in some unexpectedly deep holes.

As far as I can tell - you have stopped digging, are trying to make amends, and are asking for good advice.  All of those things say a lot about you.  Being respectful, apologizing when appropriate, and learning from your mistakes all go a long way with me.  And I like to believe most other folks think that way.  My prediction is that you're going to be fine.  Just look on it as a learning experience.

Lord knows I've posted some silly stuff over the years.  Hopefully no one holds it against me.  In my defense most of that was honestly intended to brighten up somone's day.  But as sometimes is the case, I confused or angered someone who didn't understand my particular brand of humor.  Yes, I do believe it is humor but I suppose that's a matter for debate.  LOL.

Remember it's a message board on the internet and even under the best of circumstances you will likely have someone disagree with your point of view.  It's just part of what makes life interesting.  

Some words of wisdom from the not so wise...  Be quicker to laugh than to punch.  Don't take anything too seriously.  And that especially includes yourself.  I try to follow that advice and it has served me well over my lifetime.
 

Thank you Valentina, you are right, all I would do is dig my hole further if I continue. Your advice is well appreciated!  So I will just sit back watch and learn. Xo

You are very sweet, I'm glad someone is trying to see my genuine nature. I know there is nothing further that I could do to redeem myself to the ones that were offended so I will just keep trekking. I'm glad I'm not the only one that's been in this boat b4. You are a great spirit and I love "debatable humor" my favorite thing in the world to do is laugh. thank you babe for making me smile.

For your kind help, and opinions. I made a desperate attempt to be noticed and it was the worst mistake a newbie could make. I understand now the consequences of my actions. I am humbled by this and take it as a great big LESSON LEARNED. To any of those that I've offended that are seeing this, I am deeply sorry for my actions, and there is no excuse for what I did. I did not have enough respect to ask for advice, and I hope only that you could except my apology, and my deepest regrets. Especially to Khori, Terrilynn, and any other female that was involved, I was wrong and I sincerely apologize to you.  You are all beautiful souls and I admire anyone that takes the time to help someone.  I will remain on the list, but only as someone willing to watch and learn. Thank you all for your time.

The best way to deal with a rough start is to walk away from it and start over. All is not lost, just a little tarnished.

Well that was my advice after giving her a rather harsh response about her manners. lol

The good news is, you did nothing that can't be undone, although it is true that you "Only get one chance to make a first impression" you won't be the first girl (or guy) to get off to a shaky start, but come back from it and gain acceptance after perhaps eating a little crow first.

My further advice is to reach out to both Khori and TL, express your genuine regrets for handling this badly and ask for their help in putting this behind you. If they forgive you, the rest of the board will follow suit in short order. I am good friends with both of them, which is also why I took such issue with your post and responded so harshly, but they are both very understanding and unlikely to hold a grudge if your intentions are to sincerely put this behind you.

Good luck, and for the record I am willing to give you a second chance, but I will let you know in advance, I might forgive, but it will take some time to completely forget, please know that if you "revert to form" you will be treated like a piñata on that particular board, and it will not be a fun place for you to be. Atlanta is not exactly cliquish, but we do stand behind our own. Both Khori and TL are extremely popular, and for good reason and you would do well to not repeat your past mistakes.

Thank u for the advice. It is well received.

Some may try to draw you into an argument but most are forgiving. Control what you can, your future posts, and don't worry about the past because you can't change it but you can learn from it.

You are absolutely right. At the bottom, says Thank you all..were I especially apologized to both of them. I did try to PM my apology but I was told to never PM her again and by the other was told no one will ever forget and everyone saw. So..that bottom message is my last and final attempt to ask for their forgiveness.. I'm not one to be a dog with its tail between its legs but if that's what I have to be then so be it. It was the stupidest thing in the world to disrespect the holiday, the providers, and the boards. I have learned from this giant belly flop and I am humbled in doing so. I understand that you have to defend your friends and tell a newbie like it is, and I appreciate that GaGambler. Most respect to you, providers (Khori and Terrilynn) especially, and to any that take the time to help me.  Like I said in another reply I was drinking and not my usual sweet smart self. BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE, I take full responsibility for my actions and I hope to observe and learn from the greats. Deepest regrets and apologies to you and all your friends. I will stay off the boards for awhile if that is requested of me. Again, thank you. Sassy

Yes, debatable humor is my forte it seems.  LOL.

As far as getting into trouble I never let that slow me down too much.  If I was worried about looking the fool I wouldn't have done much in life.  You just laugh at yourself, get back up, and carry on.  That's what life is all about.

And you are most welcome.  Thank you for the kind words, I do appreciate your attitude.  I hope you have a wonderful holiday. -- Modified on 7/3/2015 1:02:33 PM

Thank you, I will never entertain an argument again. Or disrespectfully come back at someone especially thru a post..recipe for disaster. I was told they would treat me like a pinata if I don't get it together..so I will watch learn and listen. Thank u for ur advice xo

You have a wonderful holiday!  I feel alot better. See u later XO

I would make a heartfelt apology on the Atlanta board, preceded by private apologies to both TL and Khori, try to get them on your side so they will publicly accept your apology, and THEN you can simply put it behind you and maybe keep a bit of a lower profile until this becomes ancient history, which in TER terms is only a few days or a couple of weeks at the most.

One other piece of advice regarding a public apology, still expect a few slings and arrows to come in your direction. Do NOT, let me repeat do NOT engage with any of those people trying to draw you out to make you look BSC, except to be gracious to them. IOW kill them with kindness, and then all of this can be put in the past.

and please remember to contact TL and Khori privately, try to not only get them to forgive you, but try to get them on your side and this will truly only be a speed bump on your journeys here. Trust me, I know what I am talking about, this will be the fastest way to put this behind you.

Almost everybody here knows how I run my mouth as well, but the difference is, I am not trying to make a living here, plus I am a known quantity, so I get a little (ok a lot) more latitude.

If talking directly to Khori or TL is not an option, my final suggestion is to post that same apology on the Atlanta board, be prepared for some rather harsh responses, keep a bit of a low profile for a while and try to let the hard feeling pass. and as hard as it might be, don't fight back when you get those harsh response. It's hard to stay mad at someone who quits fighting back.

Once again good luck.

I am taking your advice, I did post that message to the atl board, so far no response but yes you're right I will not say anything else in response..I made my point. Now I will watch and listen. I don't want to fight , I want to make love that's all.

I can't remember the subject, but I posted something when I first discovered TER and got blasted by the vets.  I quickly learned to stay silent for a bit and just read, watch and observe.  Even now, I pick and choose what to comment on and rarely start a thread.  

You got some damn good advice in this thread.  GaGambler can be harsh, but he's fair and does not sugarcoat anything.  

Have a great weekend, welcome back and good luck to you.

here or anywhere...  I have learned to use extreme caution.  If something can be taken the wrong way, don't post it.  There is no tone of voice or facial expression to carry your meaning.  Humor is an individual thing...  
I don't normally follow that board because it's out of my area.  You've made your appology...  let it rest...  start over, more carefully.

You've gotten a lot of good advice and tried to do the right thing without getting defensive, so props for that. This can be a harsh place for someone new who seems to come in with an attitude.  And, yes, those Hot-lanta folks do stick together.  But I know TerriLynn and she's good people.  She's had my back and I've had hers.  I'm only sorry it hasn't yet been in Standing Dog, lol!  Someday.
And you're also wise to be listening to your Uncle Gambler.  This is about as nice as that asshole gets.  But like him or not (and "likable" is not one of his natural descriptors) he knows his shit.
I'll just subscribe to what he and others have said.  I've stirred up more than my fair share of trouble here but I've persisted.  Keep on learning and you might just develop some staying power.  Then you'll get old enough to be told in a few  years by some snot-nosed noob that you're an old broad, lol!  Karma's a bitch that way.
Welcome to the club, bruises and all.

Thank you for your support. Yes I have received great advice and learning experience.. Muah xoxoSassy

Thank you so much  , yeah there's nothing there but words and it can be interpreted many ways..I definitely have learned that valuable lesson muahxoxoSassy

Best advice so far , all of it. I appreciate all of the feedback good or bad and of course all of the bruises  thank you for making me smile muah xoxoSassy

Wise words and thank you , by senior I meant been here for a long time, not the best choice of words I see, crap..I tried to enhance with "been here since '06..etc" very sorry ..I am working on the language :\ I appreciate your time muahxoxoSassy

Let the rest of the game settle...