I'm all about the unification of women (blame it on all the feminist theory I study as a Gender Studies major). I also know that it is important (for our safety) for providers to network and look out for one another. But as usual, the constant threat of LE and crazies makes things tricky. So as a new, independent provider with no reviews/references (meaning no access to screening sites), how do I approach another provider for a reference or anything else? What is proper decorum. I would hate to offend or rub another provider the wrong way. I've seen what can happen on these boards. As always, thanks in advance.

as a reference, I simply called her (her number was on her site). I gave her the info he gave me. No problem on her part; none on mine.

gives a heads up to the provider he is using as a reference. As long as he lets me know your name before you contact me, I will give a reference to new ladies.

We don't bite. Really, truly we don't. We just nibble ocassionally.

Have patience with regard to reviews, they will come. In the meantime, when asking for a reference, introduce yourself to the lady, provide her wiht your website, let her know you are still waiting to get your first review, and give her the contact information for the gentleman.

Every provider is a little different in how careful they are about providing references. My policy is that I won't confirm a reference until either the gentleman has already contacted me in advance, or until I e-mail him and hear back from him that he did in fact request the reference. This saves him and me from giving out information to an unknown party that he did not approve of. Some ladies have similar policies, some don't. Since you don't have reviews yet, you might ask the gentleman to contact the lady first so that she knows to expect a request from you.

I don't have reviews either, but I don't seem to have any problems contacting other ladies for references.

I have had clients who have given me an older reference because they fear the more recent one might be upset that they're not visiting them instead. That always amuses me.