I'm planning on returning to the hobby after a few years of inactivity. (lurking, mostly)
The first P411 provider that sparked my interest and was newbie friendly has asked me for a picture of myself. I think about all the things that could go wrong there and wonder if anyone has heard of this practice before.
Most women like myself just want to get an idea of who we are speaking with, nothing more. It's a pretty harmless concept that has been blown way out of proportion with all these crazy notions of what's going to happen to your photo. If the woman is a true professional, nothing will happen. It's simply 2 people getting to know each other prior to a first encounter, can make both parties much more comfortable.
You always have the right to say no.
i look like Brad Pitt's twin..so i dont mind sending my pic out to rev the ladies engine up..BTW..welcome back Miss Steele..glad to see you posting again..
You always have the right to say no.
I see about 3 well reviewed providers a year. I completely understand the provider wanting one. i have the utmost respect for them as theres no way i could their job, either physically or emotionally. Having some clue as to what their new client looks like seems fair, especially since good ones have already put accurate pictures of themselves (granted often with blurry faces) on the web for the world to see. Maybe some would say I'm too trusting, but I've shared whatever info a well reviewed provider has requested, and nothing has ever gone wrong during my 5+ years, knock wood. A quality provider has better things to do with her time than trying to blackmail you. To be honest, I actually prefer it if they request a photo because it reassures me that the provider isn't a robot and that I've already passed their looks test if we do meet. All of that said, I have the male version of daddy issues and have been thoroughly mocked by my buddies for getting providers gifts, etc...
You have to be nuts to do that! Many providers don't have a secure website and you can be reasonably sure that if said provider is used as a reference, that your photo will be passed around.
Welcome back.
Completely agreed. I'm happy to provide a general description, but I'm not sending pics. Way too many things could go wrong there. Plus, that way my smokin' good looks are a nice surprise.
Agreed, and I don't open any attachments. I had a friend who posted his own photo on a secure site and after giving an average review, a provider used google image search to find out his real name and where he worked. He gave her none of that during screening because he had over 40 refs. It's a crap shoot every time you do so. Sure, you can say all day long that reputable providers would never do anything to harm you, but get real. Usually the ones who are the most reputable, are the very ones who can turn bad.
just like we can't put all of you. Period. We can agree to disagree. Gentlemen send me photos all the time, no biggie like I said before. Makes me more comfortable, so who cares. I don't and would never send, forward, post any photos sent anything anytime, not sure who does that but sure like anything, I suppose that could happen just like my photos could be copied and pasted anywhere on the web...anything on the web is a risk, anything.
I guess it's just a matter of trust.
And trust is a word in this hobby that is a must, and yes, with complete strangers. It's kind of an undisclosed trust between 2 strangers, which in the same breath is what keeps this hobby alive, imho
who have had their photos posted on blacklists.
Your photos have no facial shots, only torsos. How about if the next guy sends you a torso or a blurred out face?
If you blindfold yourself and continually cross the street, you will eventually get run over.
Dont be so negative P. And yes a torso shot or blurred face is fine...it's just to get a vague 'idea' on who he is, that is all, nothing more. That's perfectly fine by me and more than fair.
I didn't say I needed to see 'everything' did I? How would you feel if you couldn't see us as you were shopping around for your gal...I know it's not the same, but it's like the blind leading the blind then.
My point...I like an 'idea' of who he is. It's that simple. Imagine yourself in my shoes for just a brief moment if you could. I know that's truly not possible, but maybe, you have been in the hobby so you should have an idea. You are clearly not a 'newbie'.
I can't comment about how YOU run your business, but I can certainly call bullshit on "Reputable providers would never do anything shitty." Please. I've got 12 years here...I've seen it all, and the so called backpage women rarely even screen, so it's not them that are making the moves.
How about sending a picture with the face blurred out. First time clients have probably only seen the provider's pics in the same format. Seems fair to me.
You really have no idea about her yet... maybe after you meet, and trust her a little.. but you dont know who is reading it..
Also the funny thing about guys sending pics, usually the only ones who send pics imho are:
pimps holding cash, or showing their gold mouth! lol
Guys who somehow think that by sending their photo of their dick, we will fall instantly in lust and tell him " you must come put that sex beast in me NOW before I explode!"
Guys taking shots of their chests in their bathroom mirror while holding the phone.
I do not keep photos I have been sent of guys, because I dont care to lol! But I know women will save them just in case they have to post a watch out or warning, and hey here is the visual gals..(which is a very smart idea however!)
Anyways, I had a incident the other night that he sent me a pic, that I MOST DEFINITELY did not ask for.
But he calls for a appt, it was pretty late, so I had to ask questions, and have him bring a work thing ro show me...
He tells me he works for a VERY well known bank..I say "oh! thats my bank! which one do you work at?"
he replies " do you know xxxxx (fill in a south bay city) well?"
omg
I felt sick...."yes......"
"well I work at the branch on (fill in rd which happens to be 3 blocks from me!)"
now I really feel sick!
"that is my branch."
AWKWARD!!!!
and yes the tellers, and managers all know me by my real name lol
so he sends me his photo! ugh why???? I deleted it!
Well I did see him, but silently said I will know be switching my activities to the other branch that is about same distance from my house...
never to go to that branch EVER again lol
yeah I felt a but weird, as he even remembered my cookie stealing daughter that comes in with me ugh
If you like the girl, really want to see her and she has a solid reputation on the web then it's very doubtful that anything "bad" is going to happen.
If you want to see someone then do what they ask and go see them.
If what they are asking makes you uncomfortable then tell them, in a brief, respectful email:
"I can definitely appreciate your concern for safety ..............
Unfortunately I'm a little uncomfortable giving you.............. (whatever they are asking)
If there are any alternatives I would love to hear about them.
If not I completely understand and appreciate your time."
She will either provide you with any alternatives or she will send an email saying that there are none (and most likely thank you for being a gentleman).
Seems pretty simple to me
If you have a lot to lose, like family, job, etc., then I would be reluctant to send a picture to a provider. In my case, I have neither. However, my pic is on several sites I use, so it's out there. However, I will add that I have never been asked for a picture prior to meeting a lady, so I really don't know how common the practice is in hobby-land.
Swim
I simply decline and move on. Remember you're the client! Screening is one thing, but I will never send a picture.
The first P411 provider that sparked my interest and was newbie friendly has asked me for a picture of myself. I think about all the things that could go wrong there and wonder if anyone has heard of this practice before.
anyone?
swing both ways. Some gentleman have absolutely no problem with it. While others completely freak out with the idea. No way is right or wrong as anything else in life...just with what is comfortable and that usually comes with the communication of the provider in question.
as the advice given to newbie hobbyists to only see well-reviewed providers.
can debate that topic til we're both blue in the face or agree to disagree.
True, but this is the newbie board and they are advised not to do such things.
Thanks to Mr Ogre. If I had sent that first, I figure I could have gotten a smile, but since she asked for a photo, she might not see the humor in it.
Upon further inquiry, she stated that I could wear sunglasses and that all she wanted to know was who she would see in the lobby.
Still slightly problematic, but better...