Usually w/o a condom yes. I've had a vasectomy and I always have the sex history talk with the girl before we hit the sheets (risky I know, but hasnt burned me yet)... and the condom did cause issues in the sessions (killed the erection when it finally did arrive) but theres more to it than Condom Desensitization unfortunately. Perhaps I'm just not wired to Fuck someone within 30 minutes of first meeting them anymore, regardless of how beautiful and 'GFE' they are. Both ladies were a true example of GFE in this noobie's eyes.
I'm 30 single male, have had more than my share of women (partner count somewhere around 20-25). I've been single for this year, and still not really over my ex GF. I've dated a bit this year, and slept with 2 of the girls a few times. For one reason or another both girls turned me off to the idea of pursuing a relationship and I started missing the ExGF and ended things immediately.
I've been a TER member since summer, and have hobbied twice. I saw two fantastic girls from the same agency. The 1st was in Sept and the other was this past week. Both ladies were very attractive, fun, and were dedicated to my enjoyment of the session. The 1st time I'm sure can be chalked up to being new, but both times I was very nervous and had issues getting/maintaining erection. This is something I'm not plagued by in the civy world at all (well sure sometimes you're tired, depressed, bad day etc etc, but not on a regular basis).. Maybe its the 'sure thing' maybe its the lack of spontaneous
mood, or the thrill of the hunt. I was nervous for the 2nd appointment as well, but knowing it was safe as far as LE is concerned having used the same agency I was not nearly as anxious about the whole thing.
Can anyone share any advice for this newbie? Help taking the edge off?
Try posting this on the Erotic Highway board. Your question will be answered by the LG (Love Goddess) a trained professional. BTW we were all newbies and nervous in the beginning. Good luck!
Just as skiing is not everyone's bag, neither is hobbying.
You have certain needs that are motivated by your personal psychology, and if pusuing civie gals is what gets you off, then more power to you.
I'm glad that you were open minded enough to give the hobby a shot, and I admire your candor in discussing it here so openly.
By all means, go and post this on the Erotic Highway Board and see what the Love Goddess has to say. I am always curious to see if we think alike.
Are your civvie experiences sans condom?
It could be that it's not just mental, maybe it's a problem with the condom? Or maybe, as you say, this hobby just might not be for you.
Usually w/o a condom yes. I've had a vasectomy and I always have the sex history talk with the girl before we hit the sheets (risky I know, but hasnt burned me yet)... and the condom did cause issues in the sessions (killed the erection when it finally did arrive) but theres more to it than Condom Desensitization unfortunately. Perhaps I'm just not wired to Fuck someone within 30 minutes of first meeting them anymore, regardless of how beautiful and 'GFE' they are. Both ladies were a true example of GFE in this noobie's eyes.
The same exact thing happened to me...I got a prescription for Cialis that helped immediately but after using it with 2 providers went in without it and performed just fine...it's probably performance anxiety, I was scared I wouldn't be the sex stud a provider would expect (whatever that means)...once you've done it more than 2 times you'll relax
It will give you the chance for more foreplay, getting to know her etc, without putting any "on the clock" pressure to perform.
Good luck.
I am new as well but in a much different place. I am married in my 50's, my wife is older and no longer interested in a physical relationship. I was very nervous my first few times but I was always looking for a regular provider, now that I have found one things are much much better, no stress at all, only the stress on my wallet is a problem. Good Luck.
Time, female condoms, and a lady that will take the time to get to know you. You need a more human experience, and you're getting the "GFE", something you know in the back of your mind is going to happen anyway.
I challenge you to schedule your next meeting with a lady at least three weeks out. Make sure that she's the type that after screening she will be comfortable with you keeping in contact via email, IM or however you're comfortable, and she will talk to about something more than the 'biz' and how many appointments she's had. I guarantee it will feel more like meeting a friend than hiring an escort.
I totally agree with you. Just last week was my first time and although maintaining wasn't an issue, finishing was definitely an issue. I just wouldn't happen, it felt great but I ended up doing it myself for an open mouth facial PSE style.
reports of performance issues by newbies are common.
With experience comes the ability to relax and enjoy without stress.
I was supposed to meet a provider today but cancelled yesterday evening. This is the second time I have done it so I'm thinking maybe never again. I just couldn't get past the whole infidelity thing and I knew there was no way I was going to enjoy it so it seemed pointless. I actually had a great feeling of relief when I decided not to do it.
On some level however, my feelings might be the opposite of yours - the biggest thing keeping me back, I believe, is the whole GFE thing and the emotional attachment it implies. I don't really get this part of it. I think I could forgive myself if it was just about fulfilling some fantasies with a beautiful woman before I die but when it starts feeling too much like having a date with a girl friend, that's when I start getting really uncomfortable. I even went so far as to buy a bottle of champagne for my so-called "date", and I think that's when it really hit me.
That's cause you're married and the original poster is not.
Because you're a man, a married and honest one, you have to justify to yourself that what you're doing is warranted. If you're not getting what you want from GFE service or at home, explain your fantasy beforehand next time. She needs to be quiet, the moment needs to feel stolen, and possibly quick. Lingerie at the door, a naughty look and it's on.
The original poster may need the feeling of it being a normal occurrence, the feel of meeting that hot girl for a study session, or just to chat about work, and it starts with a sweet kiss. It just happened.
In an equal amount of justification, the single man kinda needs the feeling of having a girl, but doesn't want the headache. And contrary to popular belief, he(as in single men) is not accustomed to meeting some slut-bucket girl (not calling ANYBODY a slut-bucket) whom he knows is about to screw him. Anyone needs time to mentally prepare for that.
GFE isn't an implication of lovey-dovey, but an implied 'short list' of services. A seasoned lady, GFE or not, is very versatile in her role and will ask what you're looking for as far as the direction of the encounter. Will she need to take charge? Let you show off? A level of reciprocation needs to be established. Honestly, alot goes into a really good meeting. Don't expect her to read your mind. Tell us what you need.
Do what I did, I talked my wife into joining me in the hobby. Then you get the best of both worlds!
Honestly I could never have imagined that my wife would go for it, but after a lot of open discussions about my fantasies and a lot of concessions on my side, I made it happen. We're comfortable with the idea now and a special "rendezvous" is a part of our getaway plans.