It would be nice to see some common courtesy between hobbyists and providers. For example, when I make an appointment request via email to a provider, I will tell her upfront that I am an Asian (learned from past experience) and other pertinent information that she may want or need to know. But often, I do not receive any reply at all. I realize that some providers may receive many emails each day for appointments. But if the provider is not interested in the client, would it be too much to ask for a reply of "No Thanks", "No", "Not Interested", or something of similar effects. Some of us hobbyists do have busy schedules just like the providers. With a reply from the provider, I will know what I need to do next, either she accepts my request or I need to move on, instead of leaving me hanging & wondering what to do.

BTW, I absolutely have no problem with providers choosing who they want to see as long as they don't leave me hanging without a reply. They need to be comfortable with the person that they are seeing, and I want them to be comfortable being with me so that we both can have a good time together. I don't "fit" into every provider's criteria and every providers don't "fit" into my criteria.

Finally, I really despise No Call No Show (NCNS) without a good reason as it happened to me recently. I have NEVER done it to a provider and would hope to NEVER experience that again from a provider. The provider and I spoke 4 hours prior to the appointment time to confirm the appointment and she pull a NCNS at the appointment time. 3 days later, still no response from either phone or email. I just hope that nothing bad has happened to her. BTW, this provider was highly recommended by another provider that I saw previously. For those hobbyists and providers that pull NCNS without a good reason, I think that you are a bunch of classless ass, and you are spoiling the experience for the rest of us, hobbyists and providers alike.

I think you are expecting too much as far as return emails from ladies that you have contacted regarding an appointment.  If they are interested they will contact you, if they are not they almost always never will get back to you. Honestly, that's pretty much accepted SOP in this business. The reason for this is simple: Most guys will not take a polite "no" for an answer. A refusal often results in more email exchanges which are fruitless for both parties and a waste of time for the provider.  If you don't hear back from a lady within a few days it is best to just move on to the next one.

There's no excuse for NCNS, but as for not replying to an initial request, that will happen. It used to bother me, too, but I learned to just move on. If you plan ahead a little, you'll have plenty of time to find another lady, if the first one doesn't get back to you. I have had ladies email back after I've already made other arrangements, and I've always made a point to let them know other plans had been made.

Yes Bostonguy57, some gentlemen can't accept a very polite refusal. The ones that have insisted on the "why" can't handle the truth so now I have a generic "I'm sorry I'm unavailable". I just got tired of being gracious and explaining the reasons why there was a lack of compatibility...it just seemed to make things worse, even though I was trying to save them time and money.

Sometime I think we women just can't win...damned if do, damned if we don't.

Thank you for the advice regarding the return emails from the ladies. I did not realize that most guys in hobbying will not take a polite "no" for an answer. I will keep that in mind when I try to make an appointment next time. However, I am not sure if it is considered a good manner on my part when I make the 1st appointment request without a reply from the provider for several days and I decided to try another provider and both providers decided to reply around the same time. BUT, if this is the accepted SOP in this business, I will follow it.

are you specific in your e-mail request.  In other words, "I would like to see you for an hour during my lunch break at your incall on Tuesday, May 27.  Can we meet from 12:30 until 1:30?  You can respond back to this e-mail or reach me at 123-456-7890 between the hours of 4 pm and 7 pm.  I am the only one who answers this phone."

My request was sent via P411 three days prior to the appointment date. I filled in the specific date, desired time, and length of session. In the message section, I re-iterated the length of the session that I would like to have with her. I also said that I am an Asian and want to make sure she is comfortable being with an Asian since I want us both to have a good time together. I made a clothing request if she is up for it and gave her my phone #.

She called me on the day of the appointment, about 4 hours prior to the appointment time, to confirmed the appointment. We chatted for few minutes & she told me that she is on her way to her incall location, a hotel. She gave me the name of the hotel & location & asked me to call her upon my arrival at the hotel for her room #.

4 hours later. I arrived exactly on time and call her phone # & it went to voice mail. I waited for some time before leaving and I did make one last call before leaving in case she was occupied. Again, it went to voice mail. I am 100% certain that I followed her instructions to the T and she stood me up.

With that said, if you believe there is some thing that I did wrong, please let me know. I am more than happy to take the blame if I was at fault.

BTW, when we were chatting on the phone earlier that day, she seems to be looking forward to meet with me because she said "I look forward to seeing you". I am no Einstein but I think her statement gave me the green light to meet with her. Do you agree?

People ought to be held accountable for their actions.

I did leave a polite voice mail and sent a polite email to the recommending provider. But I have not yet heard back from her as well.

But Famke, did you read the OP's description of what happened? He followed her directions to the letter. He sent in an email reservation form, which was accepted by the provider - meaning he passed her screening. She contacted him by phone, a few hours before the appointment. They had a cordial conversation, she even said "I'm looking forward to meeting you." She gave him the hotel, and further instructions.

And then blew him off...

Why would she do this? If she felt uncomfortable, why would she contact him by phone? Why would she give him further details on how to meet?

Famke was not referencing the OP being stood up in her post, she was responding to the issue of unanswered emails...

If more than a couple of days go by before a lady responds to an actual request for an appointment I would not hesitate to accept another offer. I would also email the first lady and let her know that you are no longer interested in that time slot.

Hobbying is simply not a business where standard rules of etiquette will always apply. The best you can do is plan as far ahead as possible, always give yourself multiple options and treat the ladies with respect regardless of weather you are booking or canceling a proposed engagement.

I have no answer for that one. I, myself have never done that. If I feel there is a compatibility issue there is no booking from the get go. I was simply adding to part of someone else's post regarding the polite "no" and the ensuing trouble that can even cause.

Remember, you are only hearing one side of the exchange. He might have said something very innocuous that set her off and instead of her saying something to the tune of.."I'm sorry you have made me feel uncomfortable, I can't meet you" she took the road of least resistance and bid him farewell with the "I'm looking forward to meeting you" line and just booked. Not professional and unfair to say the least.

something came up.  Sometimes we forget these ladies have real lives too.