I'm pretty new, and the inquiries I've been getting have been compliant in providing references, but hardly any of the girls actually respond. My emails are friendly and are something along the lines of "I was wondering if you could comment on ___", and I include relevant details about the guy, something about hoping I can return the favor some time, etc., and my name and website. And I know they're not made-up people because I look up the email addresses on TER and most are fairly established providers. So am I doing something wrong or is it normal for girls to rarely respond? How often do you guys hear back from other providers, on average?

Other question - is it considered bad manners to PM providers who have whitelisted someone? (Not to pry for details or anything - just to confirm that she stands by her "okay".)

-- Modified on 2/3/2017 4:15:06 PM

It is only good manners to ask first so that they know you are going to contact them.  That's the only thing I can think of.

I don't think it is bad manners to contact another provider about a white listed guy, but on the other hand, you can't expect that they owe you a response either.

the Provider's forum if you have access.  You'll find it listed under the "More" menu option.

I don't think it's ever considered bad manners to PM another TER member. If they don't respond don't keep pestering them or complain on one of the forums but a quick question shouldn't bother anyone. That said, I suppose it's possible that they may have changed their mind but suspect it that were the case they would have had the name removed (I would think they could control that list themselves but not sure).

To get access to the Providers Only board. Highly doubtful this OP is qualified.

you can casually ask if it's ok to contact them  (which they'd expect)  
and ask if they can let them know to expect your call/email since you haven't met any/many of the providers in your area.  

Alsi go to a local Meet and Greet and make it a point to meet the ladies. YOU should make the effort to reach out to them. The guys will naturally gravitate to you  Networking with the ladies will also get you the skinny on the hobby from a provider's perspective.

Finally, read your local board. You'll get a feel for those ladies that seem "a bit nicer" than some of the others. Chime in on their posts and build a little board presence. Then you can introduce yourself  
too them later thru PM or email.  

Don't be shy ... unless you're shy. That can be sexy too.  

Hope that helps a little

-- Modified on 2/4/2017 12:33:53 AM

Did not know that -- makes sense that it would be a screen access though.

Dear so and so,

 Your name was given to me by potential client to use as a reference.  

Can you please confirm that you have seen _____,  phone number ____ email address ____?

 If you have seen ____, would you see him again?  

Thank you,

Freya fantasia
My website address

 I include my website address so the provider can easily confirm that I am a legitimate provider without having to do a search on my phone number or email address in order to find me on TER to see if I'm legit.

 Most providers get back to me. I would say about 65 or 70% of providers get back to me.  

 If somebody has references but not very many and they won't get back to me then I have a back up plan. If you want to know what I do you can text me.

 Good for you for confirming the providers are real by looking on TER!  I know some ladies don't bother to do that and clients will provide fake references from time to time.

In my experience, girls rarely respond, and sometimes they don't even remember the client. (though it's good to [provide details to jog their memory.)  
So, I hardly ask for references anymore (especially considering a clients experience w/a provider is going to be different every time)
But, in the rare times I receive or ask for a reference. I just include details like date client claims saw her, identifying stuff so she can remember, and ask if this is really the client, if she would recommend them, or is there anything she feels I should know.Short, simple, and to the point.
Also, some of us don't have VIP so are not answering pm's (still waiting to see if ter is a good investment first, or waiting to get reviewed.) So that may be why your pm's are going unanswered.

If you wouldn't want to see the client again, that's a warning sign. You should say that you are willing to see that client again, unless you really aren't willing to see that client again because of some issue.

I'd say about 80-85% of providers do write back, but there are definitely some who aren't what we call "reference friendly." It probably has nothing to do with you (unless, they've looked you up and have decided that you're *too* new - meaning, that you're not yet established enough for them to determine that you're legit. Getting more reviews might help, if that's the case. Until then, consider including a link to your ad on a major forum (Eros? P411?), so that they know you're currently advertising).  

Depending on your market, some providers can be very competitive and catty. Others are just not responsible about checking email, etc. I've gotten zero replies to reference requests, I've also gotten replies, like, 2-3 months later.  

One thing I might add to your reference request email, is to say that any info shared with you will remain confidential... it wouldn't make a difference to me personally, but it certainly can't hurt to include it.  

As for your other question - NO, it is very smart to double-check Whitelist referrals! Personally, most of the clients to whom I've extended Whitelist referrals have specifically requested that I do so. I'll feel compelled to do it if the client is *safe* (if I refuse, I'll make an enemy and possibly garner a revenge review)... but, the last two guys I've WL'd are actually on my do-not-see-again list. If someone PM's me directly, I might be inclined to share more info. Like, 'Well, he was definitely safe and reliable, but I had XX and XX issue with him. YMMV.'  

The same thing applies to p411 OK's. As has recently been posted here, p411 makes it very hard for a girl to refuse to give a referral (even in the case of shorting the fee). Always double-check, you might be glad you did. And even if you uncover nothing but 'Yes, I saw him and he's fantastic', then you'll feel reassured.

When a lady is new and doesn't have a strong online reputation ladies may be hesitant to reply, not knowing if you are safe to share that information with. A heads up from the gent requesting to meet you is very helpful in this case.  

Best of Luck!
Jordan Carter