My hunch is that you are going to be spending a lot of time alone with your hand...

A few days ago I arranged a date on P411 with a provider after checking out the list of services she provided which included ones I desired.

When I showed up at her incall, she spent a lot of time talking and then when we got to it, all she would do was a basic HJ and reluctant kissing.

So now I'm stating -- politely -- up front in my IMs what I'm interested in. For instance:

******************************************************
Hi Paula Provider

I saw your ad and find you beautiful and exciting.
I'm very interested in arraging a date with you built around the following interests: Enthusiastic Domination, GFE, LFK, DFK, BBBJ, Toys for Boys.

If you feel this menu selection fits your style, and you'd be interested in arranging a meeting, please let me know and I'll firm up a date with you.

Thank you.
*********************************************************

How would you gals feel about getting a message like this?
I certainly don't want to be out of line or discourteous, but neither do I want
another expensive blow up.

Thanks

if you send that email, you will never hear from any provider.  You NEVER, NEVER, NEVER discuss any sexual activities in an email.  What are you thinking?????  Have you not read anything about that here??????
Do your research!!!!!!!

Swim

Did it ever occur to you that you may be IMing a female cop? She would only have to wait for your to show up to complete the trap and walk your ass out in handcuffs, because she would have ample evidence from your IM. You are on an escort review site, USE the Fing reviews to select providers that deliver. If a provider does not have reviews, don't visit her unless she is associated with an entity that has a track record and reputation for delivering on erotic promises.

If you had used reviews, you would have known that the provider was a poser and we would not be having this conversation.

There are many unethical and smart women out there with the sole intent to ripoff or short perform, they have figured out that getting hooked up with normally reliable sites like P411 gives them and air of legitimacy of which they can use to work their scams.

you need to do your research by reading reviews to find out what's on the table - if what happens is different from what you think will happen based on reviews, then you were treated differently for some reason

but swim is right - you mentioning acronyms will not result in a reply

do your homework before making contact

heinous

P411 is a very reputable service. It is very surprising that one of their providers is basically a B&S. You should contact them and report her.

And probably block you from sending other correspondence.

There is no substitution for doing your homework.  Invest in V.I.P. membership.  Do a search of reviews in the area you are looking for companionship in.  Put in your specific parameters.  Read the reviews of the ladies who meet your requirements.

you got burned by a ripoff girl after you didn't do your homework? Sorry, that ain't how it works.

You seem to feel that your bad experience was somehow unique, entitling you to bypass the usual standards of discretion. Actually, there's nothing at all unusual or unexpected about it. When you rely on a provider's advertised menu of services without reading her reviews to confirm that she consistently does what she says, you should expect to get burned. So don't count on reliable providers with reviews to back them up to make you an exception to their practice of avoiding discussion of sexual services.

The one good thing I can say about your question is it's fortunate that you asked it here first. Now take all the excellent advice you've received, sign up for VIP and do some research. Good luck!

I have to agree with Sinful I would never respond to any type of email such as this one you are suggesting.
Any other future correspondence would not get a response as well.
All the info you are seeking is in the reviews I am assuming that you do not have VIP?
If not get it. Cheaper than making the wrong decision which could be very costly.

Well I thank everyone for their response.

Some of you are badly in need of manners and civility, and some of you have made clumsy assumptions about my motives.

But all in all it is excellent advice.

First of all, I AM a VIP member here, at P411 and VIP membership at the other well respected site which has a name with E's as bookends.

I think I was erroneously assuming that by being members of these 3 well respected sites, this offered some level to speak freely in so-called private IM messaging system.

Apparently that's completely wrong and in violation of safe communication rules for all parties concerned.

It is hard to believe that a provider with multiple reviews and activity for years on TER or the other sites, could actually a police woman waiting out there with a net.

Upon thinking about it, it is much more conceivable that one of us could be LE setting a trap by sending sexually explicit messages as an entrapment device to a provider... I certainly see your point about that. And its pretty inconceivable that a client would likewise be undercover LE trying to arrest providers.

Again, with having to pay to join TER and P411 and be on view "in the public square" I assumed a greater level of security than you fellows believe there is... which is, frankly, disappointing.

I only sent one message referencing sex codes, and perhaps if I apologize to the provider pleading newbie ignorance with the promise to never do it again, she may reconsider.

If not, then I suppose I've lost a really good one perhaps forever.

Live and learn.

With regard to LE and safety, my understanding of the sex industry is that its a "layered" operation.
Most vulnerable are the street whores and johns because they are the easiest and least sophisticated targets. Police can arrest them and save society from the scourge of street drugs and prostitution.

Next come the very thinly veiled titty bars and massage parlors.

Next comes the escort ads in the papers which are out there for anyone to see. (frequently the cheapo massage parlors are advertised here.) These are like Craig's list was.

Next come the legitimately licensed massage parlors with proper equipment and facilities which also do a little "happy ending" type business on the side.

Next  comes the more "under the radar" escorts who are featured in outfits like TER
and P411.

And finally the word of mouth only high dollar escorts (or maybe also modestly priced) who operate totally off the public map.

As I understand it, the police are going to concentrate on the more public operations, and if one is careful by checking references at the TER and P411 level, chances are pretty slim you will ever have trouble with LE.

Vice usually has a pretty small budget, and they're going to concentrate on the areas that will yield the most and be most visible regarding the "Public Good".

I'd be interested in carrying on this LE discussion if any of you would.

So to sum up:  what I've learned here is that the less said in messaging the better and it should be confined to things like: Are you available next Thurs, How long of a drive are you from the airport, town square, baseball stadium, etc.

Is it OK to mention money if the fee is confusing, or you want a quote for a an amount of time not mentioned? Of the key components, the fee and oblique reference to the incall are the things that seem to need clearing up most usually.

Until you're behind doors with the provider, money in the envelope on the table, and you're both sitting on the bed, talk of sex and especially explicit sex should not be mentioned.

Sometimes, with all the "pretty baubles" its easy to get off track.

So once again thank all of you for your information.

"Well I thank everyone for their response.

Some of you are badly in need of manners and civility, and some of you have made clumsy assumptions about my motives. "

when you said you expected the services a provider listed on her P411 profile, NOT those reported in her reviews.

To answer your latest question, it's usually okay to mention payment for her time, as long as it's not in connection with sex. But if it's a question that could be answered by thoroughly reading her ad or website, a provider might consider you ill-mannered. And there are some providers who will always err on the side of caution and cut off communications at any mention of money, no matter what the reason.

You initial meeting may have been outside the expected parameters.  If she knew you were a Newbie & did the pro trick of wasting your time until there was no time left...  that was dishonest of her.  
As a Newbie you need to read the self help section (link by the lifesaver).  Read back several pages on this board until you can answer every question yourself.  No one can do this for you & you must filter the information through your own situation.

Discussing an illegal act...  even using abreviations...  will set off alarm bells for everyone here.  No one will take such a chance.  Don't do it.  (That's why you got such a strong response here)

When preparing to book a meeting, you need to use every available source of information...  read her reviews...  at least the last page...   Read her profile, her ads, her web site if she has one.  Remember which ones are her advertizing & the reviews are how she delivers.  Notice on her profile if her pictures are real & if she performed as promised.  
Most well reviewed providers will not kill too much time getting aquainted but the might be some...  if so, you might need to suggest "getting more comfortable".  

I suggest proposing a date 3-4 days in advance, offer to do "advance screening" & take things from there.  (Sometimes I've ended up with a meeting in 2 days!)  It may be difficult to break in as some prefer those clients with referances.  You should be up front about being new & offer what ever screening they require.  Look for "Newbie Friendly".

Do not be upset if your first attempt was a bust.  It's happened to many of us.  You are only looking to spend a pleasant hour, not marry her.  This is NOT Match.com!   Your best protection is through research.  You really don't need to discuss it...  you both know why you're there.
skb

The other hobbyists are correct that you should avoid messages like the one you wrote. But.......... I recently had a birthday and had tried to contact providers and was striking out big time. You have to understand that providers and you both need to practice a certain amount of discretion. I put a post on the "Regional Board" just says that I had have trouble contacting providers and that I was looking to treat myself for my birthday. I listed a few services like BBBJ, CIM, DFK, DATY, that I would like to experience. I DID GET RESPONSES to the post. I will tell you that none of the providers promised me anything in their response. They directed me to their personal websites. I chose one after research that seemed to fit my need. I went through her verification process.

She and I had a great time and yes I am planning to repeat.