That I disagree with London. I never tell guys that they're blacklisted, for two reasons. First, some people are fucking batshit crazy and I'd never forgive myself if a guy retaliated against a lady somehow for blacklisting him. Second, the ones who pull blacklist-worthy shit can be very creative when it comes to creating a new "identity." The one time I told someone that I was blacklisting him, he ended up changing his "name," email, TER handle, etc and ended up emailing me a few months later trying to see me. If it weren't for the fact that he was just plain stupid (told me that we had talked before but never met, and changed his email by one number), I may have ended up seeing him, which could have put me in serious danger.
So yeah, long story short, I don't tell guys when they're blacklisted or when a lady gives them a bad reference. Too much potential for psychos to circumvent screening. No me gusta.
How do guys handle appointment denials?
with a grain of salt...
Never been denied. I figure it will one day happen. I would of course like to know why but there are plenty of ladies to see so I would simply move on to someone else.
That's good that you've never been denied. Chances are you won't. You have a good rep 
My issue is whether to tell someone they have a bad rep or ignore him all together. Both are tough as I wouldn't want to be too specific about how and where I got my information (for safety) yet I think a client should know about his rep. On the flip side, I think if a client is rude, an asshole and disrespectful he too should know word will get out. I also don't want to ignore someone all together who is persistent and shows great interest as I feel that is unprofessional....
They have the experience that would put them in the best position to help you.
I do agree with another poster that said the I'm not available response would prompt futher attempts to find when you are available.
I've had everything from "Thanks for the fast response and the referral," to "Fk you whore."
We are not even talking about something physical or 'off' about the guy for the reason of denial either...simply, "I don't do outcalls or work weekends" was enough to set them off. Thank goodness I was NOT available, because no telling what such men would be like in person.
I deny a number of men based on size, and don't really get too much shit for that. Most take it as a compliment. I have also denied an appt. based on the references he had, because most were no name BP girls with zero credibility. I am not going to take the word of someone I can't even prove is a legit escort.
Guys who are blackisted and you make them aware, tend to get a bit pissy too. I don't much care lol. I am happy to inform your stupid ass that the last 2 women you ripped off, did not just take it.
-- Modified on 5/17/2013 3:16:15 PM
That I disagree with London. I never tell guys that they're blacklisted, for two reasons. First, some people are fucking batshit crazy and I'd never forgive myself if a guy retaliated against a lady somehow for blacklisting him. Second, the ones who pull blacklist-worthy shit can be very creative when it comes to creating a new "identity." The one time I told someone that I was blacklisting him, he ended up changing his "name," email, TER handle, etc and ended up emailing me a few months later trying to see me. If it weren't for the fact that he was just plain stupid (told me that we had talked before but never met, and changed his email by one number), I may have ended up seeing him, which could have put me in serious danger.
So yeah, long story short, I don't tell guys when they're blacklisted or when a lady gives them a bad reference. Too much potential for psychos to circumvent screening. No me gusta.
What if she tells you she feels as if she isn't the provider for you as she believes you two won't "click".
Was told I was too young (I'm 35). Thought that was interesting...I can understand young 20's, but 35? BTW she was early 30s. No big deal really, but I told her she should put that requirement on her website to save the hassle of people trying to book appts.
I agree. Sounds like a waste of time for you. Thanks for sharing 
Just say you are not available.If I was screening and came upon some info on a guy that was not good I would not go back and tell him what I found.I am not available and that is it.
If you mention a guy has been blacklisted or that he has a bad rep IMO opening yourself up to drama.
Because now the lady or ladies who have blacklisted him are in danger and you are in the middle of some bs that has nothing to do with you.
I have told gents in the past we are not a good match but it does not have anything do with someone being on a bad list.Most of the time that was due to something being said during our correspondence or his attitude.
Or if they are a timewaster I will just say we are not a good match
Thank you so much for your input. It was very helpful. I took notes and I greatly appreciate it
on the sites I use...just shows what he has done. In fact, when I have blacklisted guys in the past for things, I did not use my real email.
I am sadistic though, so I love telling a guy to get fked when he has hurt others.
Hi jaydalee;
I believe you've made some good points and appreciate your explaining the thought processes behind them. I especially agree about not feeling the need to tell them things like a bad rep etc. due to the drama issues. In my opinion I'd prefer being told "we aren't a good fit" instead of simply "I'm not available". The not available answer would leave me feeling like, ok so not available when I've requested but how about another time? With that reply I believe many men would continue to contact you regarding availability while the not a good fit reply tells them that you don't intend meeting with them ever.
In all my years, I've only been turned down once. And it was by a woman I'd seen several times and always got along well with! Situation was that she became a member at P411 where she could see my okays. I had a period where I was visiting a large metro area frequently and I was sort of like a kid in the candy shop in that I received okays from a large number of women in a very short time period. The lady I'm referring to looked at my profile and wrote me saying she had no idea I was so active seeing so many different women. She didn't like it and told me she didn't care to see me again. I was like WTF? I know from the number of her reviews, etc., that she is pretty damn active herself...lol She even went so far as to suggest I get rid of a lot of the okays so as not to dissuade others from seeing me. As it had never been an issue before, I didn't follow her advice but simply wrote her back thanking her and wishing her luck. She had always been a bit flaky and I just chalked it all up to that.
Now that I think about it, I've always been curious as to whether ladies really turned down men because of having too many vs not enough okays/references?
Thanks again for your thoughts Jaydalee. Regards......RR
I believe you've made some good points and appreciate your explaining the thought processes behind them. I especially agree about not feeling the need to tell them things like a bad rep etc. due to the drama issues. In my opinion I'd prefer being told "we aren't a good fit" instead of simply "I'm not available". The not available answer would leave me feeling like, ok so not available when I've requested but how about another time? With that reply I believe many men would continue to contact you regarding availability while the not a good fit reply tells them that you don't intend meeting with them ever.
In all my years, I've only been turned down once. And it was by a woman I'd seen several times and always got along well with! Situation was that she became a member at P411 where she could see my okays. I had a period where I was visiting a large metro area frequently and I was sort of like a kid in the candy shop in that I received okays from a large number of women in a very short time period. The lady I'm referring to looked at my profile and wrote me saying she had no idea I was so active seeing so many different women. She didn't like it and told me she didn't care to see me again. I was like WTF? I know from the number of her reviews, etc., that she is pretty damn active herself...lol She even went so far as to suggest I get rid of a lot of the okays so as not to dissuade others from seeing me. As it had never been an issue before, I didn't follow her advice but simply wrote her back thanking her and wishing her luck. She had always been a bit flaky and I just chalked it all up to that.
Now that I think about it, I've always been curious as to whether ladies really turned down men because of having too many vs not enough okays/references?
Thanks again for your thoughts Jaydalee. Regards......RR
No problem at all Riorunner just my sharing my .02
Wow,turned down because of too many P411 okays from a provider you had previously met with in the past?Yikes,a little strange but certainly her prerogative that is the first time I have ever heard of this.
I have never turned down a gent for having too many okays but I have turned down someone with a new P411 acct no okays and no references and not willing to provide any additional info
I always take time to research a lady first. When I make initial contact (email or PM) I always do it a few days or ~week before desired appointment so she has plenty of time to fit me in. Also, I'm very polite and concise and I include as a minimum, my date-check and TER IDs/handles in my initial email.
Thanks a great way to go about it. I wish I could highlight this for the "one liners" to learn from. Thank you
when you get a NCNS it put stinky feeling in your gut as to why she didn't show....
Now they will just change their info and potentially hurt someone. Jesus H Christ! Just become unavailable
To Everyone for your input! I greatly appreciate it!!
I came here to get advice BEFORE approching a situation and I got just that.
I now have a solid understanding of how to deny an appointment and doing so which keeps us everyone safe.
Thanks again for the advice and especially to the providers. I appreciate your support and thanks for not being condescending or judgmental. You great women made this newbie feel comfortable to ask an uneasy question, where some providers don't ask and just "wing it".
Have a wonderful weekend, y'all :-
Are you really this naive? All he has to do is google his name and poof...he knows. It is a bit hard to change your real name, wouldn't you say?
I am not suggesting the OP do this, but please...run your business, and I will run mine. If you only rely on provider refs and nothing else, I really can't help you. If a guy's real name is on a blacklist site and he contacts me, I will make him aware of why I am not seeing him. He can't "change that info."
When you report a guy on P411, you don't think he is just delisted without explanation, do you? No, he is told why, but maybe not by whom.
Also, when a guy who is blacklisted uses his ATF to give him refs, and no one tells her what he did after the fact, how do you expect her to know to STOP providing a reference for him if you don't communicate? I can't tell you the number of times this has happened to me, and I had to go back and contact a provider to inform her of what he "great client" did to another person.
-- Modified on 5/18/2013 12:58:03 PM
Not every douche with a computer knows how to screen himself. And not all blacklists are available to be found by a google check. Telling them absolutely will give some the idea the change his info. I get a real name when screening - I've also had douches come to the appointment with obvious fake ID's. It's risk management, not risk elimination. If NOT telling him he's blacklisted keeps even ONE out of THREE from switching up - we're all a little safer for it. And yes, if someone gives me a reference and the guy's a nightmare - I DO let the reference know just as you do. It's not a perfect system but again - managing the risk is important even though we can't eliminate it.
I mean private blacklists. AGain, Don't ever tell anyone they are blacklisted. I guess you can't expect pimps to care about anyone else but themselves though.
Thank You Erica!
I am not suggesting the OP do this, but please...run your business, and I will run mine. If you only rely on provider refs and nothing else, I really can't help you. If a guy's real name is on a blacklist site and he contacts me, I will make him aware of why I am not seeing him. He can't "change that info."
When you report a guy on P411, you don't think he is just delisted without explanation, do you? No, he is told why, but maybe not by whom.
Also, when a guy who is blacklisted uses his ATF to give him refs, and no one tells her what he did after the fact, how do you expect her to know to STOP providing a reference for him if you don't communicate? I can't tell you the number of times this has happened to me, and I had to go back and contact a provider to inform her of what he "great client" did to another person.
-- Modified on 5/18/2013 12:58:03 PM
There's a reason why you don't have acess to the PO Board, now isn't there.
No they can't change their real name, but now they know to go undercover and be deceitful.
What do you think happened to Provider buzz? Some dangerous douche took them down when he found out he was blacklisted. Thanks good ness for the PrivateBL Sites.
Again, again, again, DON't ever tell anyone they are blacklisted!
Say it a fucking again
Were you not the same person who posted in our area that Junlika does not give refs and a guy might not want to see her just because of that? Hmmm...who is worried about "other providers?"
I am not advocating for anyone to do what I do...nuff said. I would never tell a newbie or any woman to tell a guy when, where, and by whom he was blacklisted. I simply said I have done it, and will continue if his real information is on the internet, and yes it will always show up in google. If his wife or boss can find it, so can he. I would never say WHO he was BLd by, though, just that I am not seeing him because he is a proven ass hat.
I am not a "Pimp" dear, but yes I do run an agency that helps many women who would otherwise have to such c*ck for cheap with no protection or incall space. I do not get "paid" per call, only for the use of an incall that is not some shitty one room hotel. At least, I don't have to use an alias to hide who I am, but we know why you do. If I WANTED access to the hen house, 6 years and 9 pages of reviews, would certainly grant me access. I prefer not to sit around and bark about other providers under an alias.
-- Modified on 5/19/2013 10:20:48 AM
Now I DEFINITELY agree with that last part. If a guy gets a good reference from another provider and pulls some kind of bullshit on me, damn right I'm going to tell her. That's only happened twice so far, but both times the provider in question appreciated being made aware that her good client isn't so good.
to get an appointment after being denied. It has happened to me 3-4 times.
I don't care to know why. No explanation needed.
I did have a situation where a provider stopped answering my attempts AFTER I'd seen her twice. Not sure what happened since everything went great the first two appointments. Honestly, it was a little confusing and I consider it my most disappointing (but not worst) experience because of it. I did not try to contact her and ask what went wrong, I just moved on
I like that and I absolutely understand that it's disappointing. It doesn't always end on your terms but it's best to just keep it moving and you're figuring that out so quickly is awesome.
What are some reasons providers would deny them?