Join a service such as Roomservice2000 or DateCheck and try not to take it to personally. If your first employer didn't like you, or you weren't who you represented yourself to be, they would have fired you and called the next person on the list. It isn't that easy for the ladies. They want to be as sure as they can about what they are getting themselves into, and understandably so.

if you are a first timer, or new client with a lady that requires a reference, you might suggest an alternative method to prove who you are. some things I have done are provide employer information during screening and show multiple forms of identification at first meeting. she is just trying to make sure you are who you say you are, and while some may accept this, other's may not.  I understand their need for a comfort level but agree with you it is difficult to get an appoinment with certain ladies. if you uncomfortable with giving the personal information in the screening process, then you might just want to move on, and find a lady who's policies meets your criteria.
hope this helps,
best regards, mr.man