Look for newbie friendly providers on P411, I have given tons of oks to new guys who approached me in a polite, proactive nice and pretty straight forward manner about the booking info. We all have to start somewhere right? and I am pretty sure a provider out there would be pleased to spend time with you because you seem a nice and genuine person. I also think that you would benefit from reading this board, as well as the self help policies, It doesn't hurt to gain more knowledge about this world to avoid any situation. Good luck to you my dear.. !!!!
At the beginning of the week I contacted Provider A to see about arranging a date for next month. I've never seen her before but have exchanged emails. She's very prompt in replying, sometimes within an hour.
I didn't hear from her and thought that there was something wrong (long story that would have involved another provider, if there did indeed turn out to be something wrong).
So, I emailed Provider B, whose reviews I'd read and who sounded very good. She replied back in less than a day and said she'd check my references after Christmas and get back to me.
Yesterday Provider A emailed to say she'd been out of town, but we were set for the day next month.
Today I received an email from Provider B saying that my references checked out, and she was available on two specific days. I replied back to say I was happy that everything worked out, but had a sticky situation in that I'd already gotten a commitment from Provider A. I apologized, and asked Provider B if she would be miffed if I thought the right thing to do was to see Provider A, whom I had contacted first. Provider B replied back, wishing me a good time.
I emailed her back, thanked her for being understanding, and said I'd be contacting her in a few weeks. Her reply was along the lines of "don't bother". It seemed pretty clear that I'd blown any chance of seeing her.
I'm really bad with these sorts of things. I thought I was doing the right thing by saying that I thought I should go with the first one I'd contacted, but just in case I asked Provider B if she agreed, or if that would make her mad.
Where did I screw up? Should I have given Provider A more time to reply before contacting a second provider? I've had some who've taken days to reply, and others who just never reply. I'm never really sure if one is just taking her time replying, or just is not going to reply.
I don't think you should of gotten too specific about seeing provider A with provider B, perhaps you could of said that you would like to see her next month following the month you are seeing provider A without having to cancel her (yes, some ladies get their feelings hurt if this happens). Next time, give yourself ample time to arrange dates, I know you emailed her with enough anticipation but screening takes a while as well as getting references back. I know you are trying to do the right thing but sometimes unfortunately It doesn't work as you expect.
You heard from A before you heard from B, not your fault. B is pissed, because she missed out on an appt, IMHO, not your fault. She had her chances. If you really want to see B, you might just make a date with her for next month....If you feel she doesn't want to see her, since she was second fiddle, move on. There are plenty more out there, her loss, not yours....
Swim
Paloman, I'm not sure I understand fully what you're saying.
I didn't set a date with Provider B. I said I'd like to see her some weekend in January. So I didn't cancel with her, as I'd never set up a date.
I figured that that another provider had burned me on references, and so both Provider A and B might turn me down. That was at the back of my mind.
Swim, I think Provider B was pretty clear that she wasn't going to be available again for me. When I said I'd contact her in a few weeks, she said "No need to. I have a lot of other obligations in Feb and will likely only be seeing my regulars. Thanks though. Have a great new year!" That to me sounds pretty close to "have a good life".
I replied back saying that I think I ticked her off, and I'd contact her in a couple of months to see if she'd want to see me.
I'm so suave. 
In order to rule out bad references or anything you can think of, why not join P411, Datecheck or Rs2k? I understand where provider B was coming from (maybe a time waster issue which I am sure was the last thing on your mind) but believe me, is just easier to request a date right of the bat from any of those sites with the Oks already in place. Yes, sometimes references are re-checked but majority of my dates go really smooth with gentlemen who use those versus endless emails or phone tag issues. Some gentlemen have also stated that they give providers a window of time to reply for example: 4 days within initial contact, reference check, last details etc.. . If you set a window and the provider doesn't do her part then is only logical to contact provider B, C, D...Z... I feel that if the provider is proactive and on top of her business, the issues of consistency could be avoided with communication so nobody should have tons of backup plans unless her calendar is very inflexible or last minute requests arise.
I joined P411, but either the providers I've sought out don't belong, or they belong but still want references to contact. I don't have any references on P411, just their screening. (I'm still new to this, only saw one provider several times this year, and she doesn't belong).
Look for newbie friendly providers on P411, I have given tons of oks to new guys who approached me in a polite, proactive nice and pretty straight forward manner about the booking info. We all have to start somewhere right? and I am pretty sure a provider out there would be pleased to spend time with you because you seem a nice and genuine person. I also think that you would benefit from reading this board, as well as the self help policies, It doesn't hurt to gain more knowledge about this world to avoid any situation. Good luck to you my dear.. !!!!
they actually schedule, reserve the appointment, and the day before say "I'm canceling tomorrow. I found a different woman to see."
Then I say "Please don't email again." Time waster.
In this case, there was plenty of notice. It's known that guys rotate and have favorites. The problem comes in when we actually hear we were second choice.
Example: I was recently told I was choice #3, (maybe more, lol,) and the reason I was in that appointment was because one cancelled and the other didn't respond. It secretly killed it for me, but I didn't show it. It did show in my performance afterwards, however…
This is very minor. Nothing you did wrong, but just maybe she knows that will be in her head and she won't perform well. It happens to the best of us. She could also have been having a bad day and heard the same thing from someone else. Sensitive area. It's nice that you're asking, tho.
Just think… guys hate hearing about their women having sex with other guys… we kind of do as well.
-- Modified on 12/29/2013 1:09:19 AM
the holidays and the fact that the proposed date wasn't until next month, you should have given "A" more time to respond. As has already been said, you could have used a lot more tact in telling "B" that you needed to change the date without saying that you had another date scheduled that day.
Patience is a virtue worth having.
Completely agree!!
First off you didn't say how long you waited for provider A to respond on the last email (a couple of hours, a couple of days). But yes with the holidays maybe a bit more time was needed.
Secondly you did not cancel so you don't owe anyone a reason nor should you discuss other appt with other providers ... When someone requests an appt during a day or time that I have one already booked, I just say I'm not available at that time/day. What you could have said was, "sorry I won't be able to see you the week/.month I was hoping for, would next week/month work for you?
A suggestion: if you are in this type of situation again why not ask to be preapproved because you will be requesting an appt with her in the near future.
...that "something came up" and you'd have to postpone rather than tell her about Provider A. She may think you would do that again so she doesn't want to bother with you. Double-booking is not uncommon for hobbyists.
If you're not available on the days she names...then you're not available.
I know this isn't bf/gf, but all the same, I'd not quite get the warm fuzzies knowing you chose someone else over me that day. I wouldn't blow you off entirely...but I can see why she'd think it was rude.
Take hotels...I've recently learned that if you want the GOOD rooms, book thru the hotel directly, and go to the same one again and again. They will treat you better because they feel grateful that you picked out that hotel specifically...you didn't choose it because of a rock-bottom rate or a convenient availability. You're more likely to become a loyal customer. Same with us. Now imagine you told said hotel after they'd been on the phone w/you for several minutes, 'Well, I was going to book here, but I see on my computer that the place across from you will let me check in earlier, Bye!! Maybe I'll come back next month.' Sure, it's just business...but still.
But you didn't do a thing wrong. I think you tried to be a little too nice and honest here and it's a shame you weren't understood as such.
-- Modified on 12/27/2013 9:22:49 PM
Maybe I should just be an asshole. It seems to work well for the other guys on this forum. 
Really, though, I always try to tell the truth because I think it's the best way to go in the long run, as the truth almost always come out. In the short run feelings may get hurt, and that's what I don't consider.
In hindsight, I think everyone here is right that I shouldn't have mentioned Provider A. Provider B is considered one of the top ladies in her rather large metro market. It may have been a kick in the shins.
you don't always have to tell the whole truth. Don't be an asshole, that will get you nothing but trouble in the long run. Be nice, just don't overdo it.
I used the line, 'something came up' to cancel a date, and she jumped all over me. Oh well, shit happens, needless to say I did not attempt to rebook with her later on. I probably should have just asked for another day when I canceled (which I didn't) and she might not have gotten pissed off at me, but I normally don't schedule dates real close together.
Swim
not use the same hotel over and over for an incall location. Providers need to use various hotels for incalls so as not to attract undo attention. Stay safe by staying stealth.
I had been thinking more along the lines of a hotel family (i.e. Marriott, Ritz, Renaissance, and a few more are all in the Marriott family, for example). But yea, never a good idea to use the same hotel over and over again to see clients.
If you contacted provider A and she did not or could not respond promptly I can see contacting a 2nd provider. Very common and nothing wrong with it however: if you then contact provider B who DID respond and was screening you with a definitive day for an answer; sounds as if she (provider B) did contact you on agreed upon day. Then in the middle of your interaction provider A pops back into the picture. Honestly ? Maybe you could have told provider A you contacted another due to no email response. Provider A would have to understand whereas she was away etc. Provider B sounds as though she did things correctly and then got bumped. Neither should be so upset as to not see you in the future but once you passed on provider 1 and contacted #2 maybe should have followed through with her and told prov #1 another time.
lisaluvs, I don't know if this makes any difference as to your reply, but with Provider A, we had discussed a specific day and time. With Provider B it was "some weekend in January", so it wasn't specific at all. Provider A had already screened me (although, as I said earlier, I thought another provider could possibly have said something bad about me since Provider A's first screening). Provider B had to check referrals, which she wasn't able to do until Thursday or Friday.
I've read that Provider B speaks her mind, which many find refreshing. Maybe this is one way of her speaking her mind.
Your original post did not say you actually scheduled a date and a time with provider A. I do see that your original post was dated 12/27 and you stated you contacted provider A at the beginning of the week. Based on your post date I am assuming this was Christmas week with Christmas eve falling on a Tues and Christmas on a wed. So if you had already scheduled with provider A why the upset over a January date? You did mention provider A generally replies within hours. However on Christmas week many are occupied with family etc. So yes if you never scheduled a time with lady #2 and you had with lady#1 then I see why you are keeping your word. The question is why contact another lady if you were screened, scheduled? Either way scheduling issues come up and if you never actually scheduled a specific date with lady #2 then she shouldn't be angry.. I can see her frustration but not anger. Too many fish in the sea for you or she to worry about it.
My handling of this was really poor. Fortunately, Provider B emailed me this evening and said she wasn't upset, but that going through the screening is a pain, especially when nothing comes of it. She made a point of saying that February is really busy for her on several fronts. She may (emphasis on "may") have left the door open for something in the future.
Some things happened with another provider over the last few weeks that have left me paranoid and a bit confused, and it would seem I'm viewing everyone with the same suspicion.
Here's the thing: Provider B got back with you promptly, and went to the trouble of checking your references and everything. She specifically told you that she was going to get back with you at a certain time after verifying you. When she contacted you again to say that all was well, she basically found out that she did that for nothing. Her time was wasted. IMO, what you should have done was tell Provider A that since you hadn't heard back from her, you had already contacted someone else. Granted, you probably should have given Provider A more time to respond (it was a holiday, after all), but I guess it's too late for that now.
If I were you, I wouldn't contact Provider B again. She probably has you marked as a timewaster at this point. If you REALLY want to try and make it up to her, you can send her an e-gift card or something. It would be a nice gesture at least. Just keep in mind that verifying someone is a pretty time-consuming process, and it really sucks to go through it only to have the guy say "oh, never mind, my first choice got back with me. Maybe some other time!"
I didn't hear from her and thought that there was something wrong (long story that would have involved another provider, if there did indeed turn out to be something wrong).
So, I emailed Provider B, whose reviews I'd read and who sounded very good. She replied back in less than a day and said she'd check my references after Christmas and get back to me.
Yesterday Provider A emailed to say she'd been out of town, but we were set for the day next month.
Today I received an email from Provider B saying that my references checked out, and she was available on two specific days. I replied back to say I was happy that everything worked out, but had a sticky situation in that I'd already gotten a commitment from Provider A. I apologized, and asked Provider B if she would be miffed if I thought the right thing to do was to see Provider A, whom I had contacted first. Provider B replied back, wishing me a good time.
I emailed her back, thanked her for being understanding, and said I'd be contacting her in a few weeks. Her reply was along the lines of "don't bother". It seemed pretty clear that I'd blown any chance of seeing her.
I'm really bad with these sorts of things. I thought I was doing the right thing by saying that I thought I should go with the first one I'd contacted, but just in case I asked Provider B if she agreed, or if that would make her mad.
Where did I screw up? Should I have given Provider A more time to reply before contacting a second provider? I've had some who've taken days to reply, and others who just never reply. I'm never really sure if one is just taking her time replying, or just is not going to reply.
You might want to read my reply to lisaluvs.
Provider A had already screened me. I was waiting for a go-ahead on the time and day, but was concerned I hadn't heard from her. Provider B still needed to contact my references.
After I explained the sticky situation I'd put us all in, I said the following to Provider B:
"While I'd prefer to see you first, I think it would be bad form to cancel on her. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to push our meeting out a few weeks, possibly into February. My schedule is such that I can only get to City X once a month.
Does this sit well enough with you, or does it ruffle your feathers? I can always cancel, but I'd guess that most ladies don't appreciate that."
I thought I was giving her the option of saying "no, I want to schedule in January as we had discussed", but maybe nobody would take that option under these circumstances.
Just another case of me with my foot in my mouth
Got it. Still, you should have given Provider A more time to respond before even contacting Provider B. Truth is, you got impatient and Provider B suffered because of it (you did say that she got back with you as promised and said that all was good with your references), so I really don't blame her for being annoyed. If you had instead seen Provider B, Provider A would have been annoyed, and rightfully so.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but you seem to get antsy really easily when a provider doesn't respond to you within a very short time frame. Most ladies have other obligations that have priority over answering emails (especially over the holidays), so just keep that in mind when you're waiting for a response to an inquiry. If you're scheduling dates weeks ahead of time as you seem to be, you'll have ample time to get responses.
Provider A had already screened me. I was waiting for a go-ahead on the time and day, but was concerned I hadn't heard from her. Provider B still needed to contact my references.
After I explained the sticky situation I'd put us all in, I said the following to Provider B:
"While I'd prefer to see you first, I think it would be bad form to cancel on her. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to push our meeting out a few weeks, possibly into February. My schedule is such that I can only get to City X once a month.
Does this sit well enough with you, or does it ruffle your feathers? I can always cancel, but I'd guess that most ladies don't appreciate that."
I thought I was giving her the option of saying "no, I want to schedule in January as we had discussed", but maybe nobody would take that option under these circumstances.
Just another case of me with my foot in my mouth.
Hooker A,B,C all the way to Z does not respond ......bye bye , call the next hooker!
Look in the phone book when your air conditioner quits .... Call A,B and company C ..... Not response , bye bye , call the next company !
You seem to enjoy drama or something ...... Do you tell the A/C company details that you've chosen another ? If yes. , WHY ? Why would you tell a whore that is slow in responding about your options ? Makes no sense !
Dude ......they are hookers ,prostitutes , whores ......this is how they pay the rent and bills - ABSOLUTLEY no difference than any other business transaction .....
Who gives a rats ass if one is offended . She fucked up by her slow response . She is oblivious to the competition . She is ignorant that the one with the cash holds the power !
Understand now why she is not a CEO of a multimillion dollar company and is selling pussy instead ?
If your going to give a flying fuck about inconsiderate whores that develop an attitude when we go elsewhere than maybe this game is not for you and you should just stick to civie whores !!!
Next with your attitude will be a post about "help I've fallen for a hooker and can't get up !"
The only thing YOU did wrong was give a damn when she got upset when you declined the appointment !
In closing ........ They are hookers , you have all the power because you have cash and you choose to see whores because they are suppose to give up the pussy with NO DRAMA !
I didn't hear from her and thought that there was something wrong (long story that would have involved another provider, if there did indeed turn out to be something wrong).
So, I emailed Provider B, whose reviews I'd read and who sounded very good. She replied back in less than a day and said she'd check my references after Christmas and get back to me.
Yesterday Provider A emailed to say she'd been out of town, but we were set for the day next month.
Today I received an email from Provider B saying that my references checked out, and she was available on two specific days. I replied back to say I was happy that everything worked out, but had a sticky situation in that I'd already gotten a commitment from Provider A. I apologized, and asked Provider B if she would be miffed if I thought the right thing to do was to see Provider A, whom I had contacted first. Provider B replied back, wishing me a good time.
I emailed her back, thanked her for being understanding, and said I'd be contacting her in a few weeks. Her reply was along the lines of "don't bother". It seemed pretty clear that I'd blown any chance of seeing her.
I'm really bad with these sorts of things. I thought I was doing the right thing by saying that I thought I should go with the first one I'd contacted, but just in case I asked Provider B if she agreed, or if that would make her mad.
Where did I screw up? Should I have given Provider A more time to reply before contacting a second provider? I've had some who've taken days to reply, and others who just never reply. I'm never really sure if one is just taking her time replying, or just is not going to reply.
There's been a lot of drama the last several weeks, and it hasn't been of my choosing.
I've received a lot of good advice. Thanks.
but she's truthful. You should have simply said, can't do it then & suggest a later meeting date. As it stands, I'd call B if you get a chance at a later date. She might be busy or might have free time.
However, a little white lie along the lines of something came up and had to postpone the trip andask to reschedule would have been a good idea. Something along the lines of the company you work for is sending you somewhere else first. Provider b never needed to hear you were going with provider a instead, although it was right, sometimes people, male and female alike get upset when, for lack of another word, being turned away for another