Okay, here's the deal: I had a guy book an appointment with me a couple of days ago (via a site that I don't frequent very often) for tomorrow morning. All was well, his references checked out and all that so I was happy. He then sent me a PM on aforementioned site late Saturday evening asking me about my BCD preferences. I'm really not one to discuss that kind of stuff prior to meeting, but was actually going to oblige him (albeit vaguely and without discussing specific acts) as soon as I had the chance. Then, last night (less than 24 hours after the previous message, he canceled our appointment, saying that at my price point, I'm expected to answer questions promptly, and that other "proven ladies" at lower rates are much more "responsive and forthcoming." He then went on to say that without conforming to these expectations, that I'd be unsuccessful on [other site].

I get the whole "responsive and forthcoming" thing, but I really didn't think that included certain subject matter, including BCD tastes and preferences.

I was totally taken aback by this. I've never had anyone suggest that my rates should include off-the-clock PMing, especially within certain time constraints. I'm pretty sure that this isn't an expected obligation for most guys, but please correct me if I'm wrong. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I strongly suspect that what happened here was that he set out to see several gals, and when the one he really wanted to see gave him an OK, he set out to dump you with the trumped up response.

But, maybe he is just a hard ass.

Either way,I think you're better off letting him be someone else's problem rather than yours.

Sorry you had to be treated this way.  I can tell from your questions and responses that you are a very caring person.

I would venture to say that there's a large percentage of us guys who want to know what the ground rules are prior to confirming an appointment.  For some, the price of a session with you may be their entire entertainment for the month so they want to be sure what they're getting for their money.  Accordingly, if a girl is unwilling to share this information, particularly after someone's references have checked out, I just click elsewhere.  I have always found a different provider who IS willing to respond to such questions so they're much more likely to get my trade.  

As much as it annoys some here when I say this, it IS a buyer's market here so if someone balks at what I consider to be a very reasonable request for important information, I move on.  I can't imagine I'm the only one who approaches things this way.  So, again, do what you are comfortable with but recognize that you may very well lose potential clients by doing so.

The thing is, though, I didn't balk in the slightest bit. I just didn't get have a chance to get back with him right away.

Prompt Communication is part of the deal, but asking about specific acts or things that make you uncomfortable isn't .
Thats what reviews are for and its reason enough not see him and break to off communication with him.

That sounds really stupid. You don't expect that with any other service. You should stick to gingers.

You are in a very competitive business with there being a whole lot of options for the consumer.  I just looked at the new review screen for your town and there are 25 new reviews just this month.  A different girl who will respond and do so quickly is just a couple of mouse clicks away. And regardless of what the sycophants here say, it's how it is.

...what do you consider to be "prompt?" I mean, it was less than 24 hours and he had already scheduled an appointment which was set for Tuesday afternoon.

Also, the advice I've always gotten has been to keep discussions of BCD stuff out of the conversation to minimize the legality risk. Maybe I'm wrong.

That's what I thought. I'm always super prompt when it comes to scheduling, references, etc. as I respect everyone's time, but this seemed a little excessive.

have private lives, families that need attention, classes to take...  and time to work as well.  (No messaging while on the clock with another client!  duhh)  Neither party should be expected to be logged on full time.  A lot of gals will are not comfortable discussing BCD activities nor am I.  If you didn't have reason to expect further interim communications, he should be understanding with his expections for a reply.  It seems to me that when reasonable research is done & reviews found...  a bit of trust is in order.  "We both know why we're here!"

I hadn't even thought of that, but it makes a lot of sense!

Thank you for your kind words, mrfisher. I've dealt with worse and I'm sure there will be more like him. Oh well, most of you guys are lovely so the pros outweigh the cons.

I never expect to discuss BCD stuff until we're BCD...and even then...I've not really had what I would consider an open conversation.  I prefer to let things "flow".  Everyone has their limits of what they are willing to do and the 'other person' is a huge factor in that decision.  If you've never met...how can you say with assurance what BCD will include?  This is why YMMV was invented.  And...it goes both ways.  I've only DATY'd one woman that I've met in this world.  It was completely a comfort thing for me.  I felt good with her and wanted to try it...I didn't feel the same way with others...end of story.

It may be a buyers market, and competition may be tough, etc, etc...but, everyone has a tolerance for what they are willing to deal with.  At the end of the day, if this type of thing is hurting your bottom line...then his opinion might be something to consider and this might fall into the category of "something" you have to deal with that is not ideal.  Ever job has stuff like that.  Like some of the other posters..I think the gent in this situation is a bit over the top and expecting too much (especially for a first time client).  

Hell, I'm not even a client of yours and you replied to a message I sent you within like 24-48 hours.  I'd say you are pretty responsive and very sensitive to others.

I'd dismiss this asshat and move on to other gentlemen who are more reasonable.  Everyone is probably happier anyway...including this jerk.    

He just helped you successfully avoid a problem client, one who expects you to bend over backwards and do whatever he wants, even if he does not tell you what he wants.

As for discussing BCD stuff via PM, that is just crazy talk, so the guy is not just a jerk, but he is stupid, too. Consider yourself lucky that he canceled and put him on your personal do not see list.

zig

Forget about it and move to North Carolina!! Seriously though he was being unreasonable so don't feel bad. No telling what kind of jerk he would have been in person. Best thing to do is pack up an move to NC us southern gentleman know how to treat a lady!!

The bending over backwards probably wouldn't be a problem, She is awesome, but the whole idea this guy must've had I. His head is just ridiculous.

Hahaha you crack me up.

You get me going. If there's ever a time where you feel the urge to be licked for about 8 hours straight give me a ring.... And some water.

lmao. I'm not as blunt as London but I don't pull my punches either (eom)

-- Modified on 2/18/2013 4:52:20 PM

I mean really.... Totally unreasonable and rude.  He should have done his research up front before he even requested the appointment.  Sorry you had to put up with such silliness.  Forget him.  His type are the reason us ogres get a bad rap.

to men specific sex acts in an email or text message...isn't that what reviews are for if you simply have to know what is offered? Even then you might show up and something might then be off the table once she meets /sees you.

You are in the minority I think..most ladies would not add those things in an email that could come back to bite her later.

he did you a favor no matter what the hobbyist sycophants will tell you. There are some guys who are so demanding and will heavily penalize you for the slightest thing...ie not enough ass kissing...yeah, you dodged a bullet.

The provider who vouched for him is one of the most reputable ladies in my state. Do I tell her about this incident?

No, don't YOU do that. That is what I would do though, because I don't much care. He is an idiot who wants his ass kissed, and guys like him are the absolute WORST in this hobby. Be grateful he canceled because I can 99 percent guarantee he would have been a demanding dipshit, and no matter what you did during the appt. would not have been enough. He would still give you a less than stellar review, because he is pissed he has to pay for sex to begin with. The "at your price point" comment, proves it.

Gosh...don't listen to him. He is one of the very negotiation fools I spoke of. Put it like this..the GOOD and even GREAT clients, are not the ones who want to see you last minute or when their d*ck gets hard, which is what our boy here certainly expects. His "buyer's market" comments are tired, and only for women who have no other way to survive so they put up with his nonsense. Since you are NOT one of those girls, see who you want, at the price you set, and don't feel the need to discuss shit via email. Who does that really? Sets an appt. and THEN asks, "Oh, btw do you offer anal?" Retarded.

FYI, I am one of those providers who tends to respond in a few hours, BUT that's because I am on the net all damn day. Not all providers can just sit around and play on TER...they have lives. Will you lose business for not responding in a timely fashion? Yes, but I've dealt with just the opposite. They email me, I respond, and then it takes THEM a day to respond again. I just move the hell on.

-- Modified on 2/18/2013 6:05:50 PM

Dudes an ASSHAT!! I mean are you supposed to be online 24 hours a day?

Apparently!!

Fine, Dandy and Maybe, but that guy is an ass and let one of those other girls who likes to be a poodle jumping through hoops have his entitled ass.  Some of us don't need or want clients who act like an ass like that.  Farewell, adios, and good riddance if that's your attitude.  I don't care to meet with any client who is just looking for a hole to fuck.  He can go find a knothole in a tree and grease it right up for free.

1) the guy was a jerk, asshat, whiner, and a game playing ass!
2) 24 hrs is more than fast enough response time once the appointment is set
3) never let any jerkwad (add that to #1) goad you into talking about BCD online
4) it's a shame that you had to go through that, you did nothing to deserve it,
5) but you are far better off for losing him as a client.
6) And, please come to NC where you would never be treated that way by us southern gents

I was gonna say all that anyway, but I just got here late!

-- Modified on 2/19/2013 12:44:33 AM

-- Modified on 2/18/2013 10:13:43 PM

I am sure she can put 2 and 2 together. Just because he did not treat her badly, does not mean he can't treat the next lady that way. She vouched for the guy she saw, not the guy he was to you.

No loss to you, honestly.

You have a fanclub in NC!  Gotta love those southern gentlemen! Sooooooo swoon-worthy!
                                  Desi

-- Modified on 2/18/2013 11:43:55 PM

Haha! Funny thing is, I used to live in NC!

I can't stop laughing!!!!

I vow to you that I WILL send this to every douche in the future. Every. Single. One.

As I read back through all the excellant comments VM really goes to the heart of the matter.  Mr ArseHat, presumes to tell you "you have to XYZ because other gals do".  I bet when he gets BCDs that he also twists their offers "because the other gals do".  Yes, you are fairly new.  But not so new that you'll let some AH manipulate you.  
You have to be polite, discreet, have good people skills...  but you also have to be strong when you need to.  You must run your affairs as you see fit.  Make your rules & stick to them.  IF it doesn't work for you as a business, then you must calmly & rationally revise your business & set new rules.  
Only with my very best Favorites would I mention BCDs if I have special requests for the day.  Most often things flow as they please.  Nothing like a gentle whisper when we are naked between the sheets.  
HV

Posted By: VegasMassage

OMG! Laughed my a** off, best two minutes spent in a long time...

Seriously, his response was a blessing. Since you're new, they will try alllll kinds of things, seeing what they can get away with or not. Once they figure out that you're running your business in a way that works best for you, that nonsense will calm down. Not to mention there are more lovely men who treat the ladies with consideration, than jackasses like him, so that's another plus.

Whenever a guy says something along the lines of well so and so does it this way or I know plenty of girls who blah blah blah, I would always tell him that if that is what he needs, I am happy he already has someone who has tons of free time & who will do that for him. And that he should get in touch with her instead. Or that you are fortunate that at your price point, your clients appreciate the fact that you have other obligations and don't "expect" you to respond in less than 24 hours. Nonetheless, you appreciate his response as it's better to discover incompatibility ahead of time versus having to end an appointment early.

Anyway, don't sweat it at all and the next time someone tries that with you, I DARE you to send the video linked below saying this is your response... LMAO

xxoo Olivia

Never discuss BCD activities if you are not comfortable doing so.

He probably wanted to jerk off then night before while reading what you would be doing the next day

Our loss. Good luck to you, you are an extremely bueatifull lady don't let the jack asses in this hobby get to you.