Hello All,
Here is my problem. My wife does not want to have sex anymore and it is driving me nuts. I have asked and begged no luck.
It has been months. I am not even sure if it is about sex or just the feel of being with a women.
I dont want to have a affair so that brings me to hobbying. I would like to find a provider that would like to start with a massage and maybe move to something else. Whatever I feel comfortable with. I've tried 2 providers but since I dont have referneces I seem to be out of luck.
Everyone dont be to hard on me, this is tough enough. :>)
You are not alone. This is the same thing that got me into the hobby.
Have you joined one of the referral services? Preferred411, Date Check, and RS2000 are all ways to get verified without references.
Also, some agencies have less screening requirements than others; but, that can work in reverse as well as LE often targets agencies instead of independent ladies.
Have you read the newbie manual and read several pages here to find other posts similar to yours?
Good luck.
Since you'd like to start low key.
No references are needed and they are not expensive.
I have met several great providers at MPs. We now see each other off campus for more involved sessions.
One drawback is that LE is targeting MPs more than ever, especially Asian ones.
I would also not give up on finding a provider despite not having references. There are many who will accept a newbie based on getting lots of personal information like where you work home, etc. Just remember to stick with ones with lots of good reviews. It also helps to write a sincere email describing your situation and end with a proposal for a definate time and place for the session. Many gals are open to prospective clients who are sincere.
Have you signed up to become a VIP member here? If not, you should. Having access to the intimate details is very valuable in selecting the right gal for you.
Finally, I would be remiss if I did ask if you have read the Newbie Manual linked that the top of the page. It is filled with valuable information that you will need to be a successful and happy hobbyist.
Best of luck to you.
You have come to the right place.
This happens very often...
First, as already suggested, you need to read the newbie manual & several pages on this board. Scan all the others. This will bring you up to speed so you'll understand how everything works. You need to learn about hobby phones, computer tracks, 2 call system, being discrete. And, all this is free. Read your local board (to the Left).
Then get VIP. The cost is far less than a spoiled date or wasted opportunity. Learn how to use the search feature & check out ladies who have recent reviews in your area.
You'll have to provide some information on yourself (screening) so the lady is comfortable meeting you in private.
Yes, a massage with extras is a nice way to start & one remains a Fav of mine. I prefer an indie to a Massage Parlor.
Best wishes,
skb
LOL the triple triad has spoken! Listen to these men, sparks, they know of which they speak... or type. Your best bet if you really want to learn is to go through the newbie manual and posts by any of these gentlemen here.
On an aside, sorry about your issues at home. To be totally sincere, the men I've been seeing since I started have a strangely similar story and it makes me think this: I love it that you see me, I just wish you didn't have to.
Good luck in your endeavors!!
Triple triad? Wow, I guess that is a compliment. I learned something new today.
Sparksflyin,
Would like to understand a little more about your wife and her proclamation...
Why exactly is she no longer interested in sex? Is that the truth, or is she no longer interested in sex with YOU, and is afraid of divorce?
I would not want to spend the rest of my life with a woman that did not want to have sex with me. As a couple, we would need to get to the truth of the issue. If it's a medical issue, let's try to address it. If however she no longer finds me sexually attractive, then why would you two want to stay together? And please don't say "for the kids." The kids will be better off if they don't see you two in separate bedrooms, acting like roommates instead of lovers.
Also, I would be pissed if my wife made a declaration like that. She doesn't have the "right" to just say "No more sex." Not anymore than I have the right to say "I'm not going to work every again." Issues need to be discussed and planned.
Why aren't you two communicating about this? You should be pissed and angry - not necessarily about the sex, but about her unilateral decision about the relationship. It's supposed to be a partnership!
-- Modified on 8/1/2009 12:25:20 PM
Great post. He need to get to the bottom of the issue. There is a reason why his wife no longer wants sex with him. He could have cleanliness problems that she is fed up with, she could be having a relationship with another man or woman, ect. The gentleman need to get an answer, but should be prepared to deal with whatever information comes out of his wife's mouth. Above all, he must approach the issue in a calm manner.
Also, I would be pissed if my wife made a declaration like that. She doesn't have the "right" to just say "No more sex." Not anymore than I have the right to say "I'm not going to work every again." Issues need to be discussed and planned.
Why aren't you two communicating about this? You should be pissed and angry - not necessarily about the sex, but about her unilateral decision about the relationship. It's supposed to be a partnership!
Absolutely well said. This unilateral decision making is pure BS. Try making a life changing decision that effect her all by yourself and see what she does.
Why women won't talk about these issues if they arise is beyond me. Floating down "denial" only gets you so far and then the big pink croc rears it's ugly head...
"References" are like acquiring a skill; it requires persistence and time.
Once you have 3 or more reviews to your credit this road block will mostly go away.
BTW: The most sexually adventurous, no-holes barred, seemingly insatiable provider will likely become indolent and uninterested in sex after several years married to the same man.
It is how Homo-sapiens are hard wired, and is NO reflection on you as a person or a man.
You observation is case 1 for why marriage must be based upon more than sex and physical attraction if the two people involved want it to last. The number one foundation is honesty. People entering marriage do not highlight their basic needs to their perspective partner. A woman wants financial security and does not bring that front and center in her search for a mate. A man wants a woman that will always look hot and provide hot sex, but fail to deal with the reality that no woman will provide those needs over the course of a marriage. Two people date but do not pay attention to the tendencies of their potential mate that will severely irritate them during marriage.
I’m talking basic procreation, survival of the species “instinct” that is hardwired into our physiology. Mating for “life” is an off shoot of a higher social engineering necessitated when “property rights” became an issue to the surviving nuclear family”. Spiritualism/religion then muddied up the water further.