This will surely be remembered as my newbiest post ever, but I'm biting the bullet and asking anyway...
Does the pre/post-session, quick hop-in-the-shower-and-get-cleaned-up count toward your session time?
I ask, because I'm getting a lot of mixed messages. I've seen reviews, particularly of Asian cat-houses, where the girl has a bathroom attached to her room, and she always asks you to shower first, and she gives you the option of having her join you in the shower. Some gents accept the offer; others decline, on the rationale that they want their entire session time in bed, rather than starting the session in the shower. That, of course, suggests that a quick solo shower doesn't count against your time.
Similarly, during an outcall, I had a provider clearly and very smoothly make it clear that our time was OTC until she got comfortable and cleaned up and ready, etc, so "the clock" didn't even start ticking until more than an hour after she arrived.(which was fine with me... I was happy to have that much time OTC just chatting)
But then, on the other hand, there's so much emphasis on arriving on time (but not early!) and leaving on time and respecting a lady's schedule. That suggests that if she's set aside two hours for you, then that's all you should take, no matter what you do. And if she was polite enough to let you shower after your time, it's only because she's a charitable hostess and good businesswoman who doesn't want the customer to leave on an awkward note.
So which is it?
I'm guessing the answer is going to be "it depends," and that different women have slightly different rules (possibly depending on their schedule that day) and that you have to feel out what's appropriate, while erring on the side of respecting her time, and not doing anything obnoxious like taking a 40-minute post-session shower. That's how I've been playing it so far. Am I way off?
I hate giving answers like that but its the truth.
Have met many girls both independent and service controlled who very very casual about the time and never watched the clock. They would take a nice long session, well over the hour, and then dawdle around to clean up, chat, cuddle, maybe even have a bite.
Have also been with girls who were not only strict about the clock, but ridiculous about how they kept time. One gal had a set hour that included transportation time. She did not want me taking up more than an hour of her day under any circumstances. I did not see her again. In fact if you are uncertain, ask over the phone before she even arrives. Ask her if the hour is all the time you spend actually with her, or if its all the time she takes out of her day for you. I too have been the victim of a shortened visit on many occasions. The easy giveaway is that such girls also provide rotten sessions (as a general rule). They are just trying to grab as much cash as quickly as possible and haul ass. They dont do good work and they eyeball the clock constantly. They look for excuses to delay starting and to quit early. More than once a gal would be all sweet right up to the money exchange and then turn into a total bitch. That made it easy to start an argument and then she'd have an excuse to leave right away.
You have to keep in mind that while they are all doing it for the money, they are all different. Some get something really deep and personal from the experience and the money is just a way to make it worth their time. Some are really upset with the way their lives are going and hate themselves for what they have to do to survive.
I dont see those girls. I dont want them to have any encouragement. I want them to quit the escort business and see what its like to slave away for 12 hours on minimum wage and appreciate what the rest of the working world has to deal with. Some times those girls come back much more appreciative of a 300 dollar an hour job.
Sorry, didnt mean to rant. You stirred up an old emotion in me: Getting large wads of cash removed from me and no snuggle time to show for it. Thats much worse than picking up a girl, taking her to your house or motel and having her bail. At least that way you are only out a couple of drinks and a cab fare.
I don't know if this scam is still going on, but a few years ago I noticed that almost all providers (whether agency or independent) in the Washington DC area had clocks that were five or ten minutes fast. I finally got one friendly lady to admit that this was intentional and was a "trade secret" among the "girls".
I've never experienced it. Not back in the 90's when I frequented houses, and not more recently. I am very aware of time and subtly check my watch during a session so I know when to finish. I'd certainly know if I was being "shorted" and would nicely point that out.
and ends when you walk out.
That, at least, is the point of view you should work with.
That said, it is not at all unusual for a gal to let you run a few minutes (and sometimes more), over without any extra compensation paid, but one should never abuse this privledge if it is offered.
It has a lot to do with your mutual chemestry, demeanor and similar difficult to measure criteria.
I am not aiming my rant at the OP. His post just wound me up.
Haggling over shower time, just like haggling over rates or services or screening requirements, or the lady's rules are the surest way there is for you to get a 7 in performance from a lady who consistently delivers 9s. Why do some guys feel that a lady is going to give them her best after making her go through their bullshit? Seriously, the ladies are not robots. If you whine about whether the shower counts in your time, she will be too pissed off to give you her absolute best. Also, why is there this priority to spend as many minutes of the session as possible banging away? I guess that, for some guys, this is their priority. They would prefer 60 minutes of 7-level sex to 50 minutes of 9-level sex. I guess that I just don't get it. I do everything I possibly can to put the lady in the best possible mood as the session begins. That starts with the first email, and ends with a solo shower whether she recommends it or not.
Sorry for the rant.
One way to deal with this is stick with GFEs, who are less likely to be clock-watchers. You always need to respect her time, but reviews are a very good way to find all this out. They make it clear who wants you to shower first (so do some gals' web sites), and who watches the clock.
My question was based on a sincere desire to respect the lady's time, not any desire to haggle for maximum nookie. I ask the question here, precisely because it seems inappropriate to ask a lady directly. I don't want to come anywhere close to seeming like a haggler. But I do want to know the customs in this foreign land.
Don't kick the little dudes balls in before he gets to use them....damn. Read what Fisher said, that is how to deal with a legit question from a newbie. Good job Fisher. However if a newbie came on here bitchin about some provider counting his shower time and how he felt cheated that would be another matter. Then kick away.
Just an Old,Fat, Ugly Fuck with an opinion
-- Modified on 3/25/2011 1:38:41 PM
So here goes...
1) You can shower on your own time before you arrive and decline a shower. Just be fore-warned that she may not accept/like that and then YMMV on certain things. I do not recommend this, except with a lady you know well.
2) Shower when you arrive:
2a) Often with the Asian ladies, the shower is part of the session. I might call this an Asian-style session. You are also generally getting one round, so the sower really doesn't detract that much. With some ladies, the shower time can be pretty damned good.
2b) For a non-Asian STYLE experience, some ladies/agencies explicitly will say that shower time is or isn't included. One local agency here used to have a 70 minute hour to allow for shower time. If there is nothing explicit stated on their web site, assume the shower is on you.
Now answer me this (and this is a rhetorical question). You have to strip down anyway... so how long does it take to jump in, scrub your pits, crotch and crack... rinse off and grab a towel? If that is your biggest concern, you're A) doing OK, and B) need to lighten up a bit.
Right. I always shower first but there are some gals who still want you to. But in that case it's just a quick rinse and takes no time at all. Certainly not enough to make it worth worrying about whether it comes out of your hour.
Of course you should ask the lady if you have any questions about when the clock starts and stops. My experience is time starts when you arrive, ends when either you finish (if you finish before the scheduled end time) or at the end of the scheduled appointment time. Of course rules can be bent if the provider has a light schedule that day and she enjoys your company. I've stayed longer on some occasions (rare) but only when the lady asked me to. Otherwise I am out when our appointment time was agreed to end.
I had a fabulous time with an agency girl who stayed over at my place well beyond the scheduled end time but again that is a rare occurrence for me and she told me she wanted to stay off the clock.
I'm not a AMP guy but do see a couple of FBSM types. In one case it appears that the hour is the massage time & even considerable shower time is not counted, though there must be a limit to it.
With Providers, I would expect that the time in the door to out the door. I leave from home with a fresh shower & generally decine if travel is under an hour. If over, I'll just do a quick soap & rinse essencials... 10 minutes tops including towel time. I think it is safest to expect this until proven differently.