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BeyondAllHope 1791 reads
posted

Not sure if anyone here is even still checking this thread but I still want to send out my sincere gratitude to everyone who has given their input, I didn't expect to get anywhere near this much assistance. Just want to respond to a few things as well. I would have done so sooner but I had a site launch at 11 AM today and everything had to be wrapped up yesterday.

Posted By: LameTiger
As far as other posters here.  He doesn't sound naive.  He's isn't trying to fix anything other than his lack of sex.  "The first time should be special."  That applies to people who have mastered the maze of social connection.  Those like me and the OP who sadly have not have to do things the hard way.  Those who are imbued with the graceful speaking of mere words in the presence of the  opposite sex are truly blessed.  A blessing that is not bestowed on everyone just because society says this is what a man has to be.
Thank you, this is basically my mindset at this point. I would love my first time to with someone who I care about and vice versa but if I hold out for that then time will just keep passing like it has and it may never come. A great experience with a provider is all I can really ask for at this point and if everything goes relatively well it would be greedy to expect more from my current position.
Posted By: crazyshit
But I will warn you.  If you lose your virginity to her, it's like having your first sushi experience be like going to Masa in the Time Warner Center.  Or your first driving experience being behind a Formula One racecar.
Heh, after checking out her site she is certainly quite stunning and I am not too far from the NY area =). Maybe I will have to look into this possibility providing she would be comfortable with it. Perhaps I will contact her after I sign up to the screening site. Also maybe it would be best to throw myself into the deep end on this one occasion and go all out even though it may set an unattainable standard for every experience I have from there on out, lol.
Posted By: ddp71

I believe, like it appears you do as well, that a few years from now, the OP will realize this was all to do about nothing. It's just sex. I honestly don't believe guys look back at their first time like a scene from some sappy movie. For fear of sounding like a mangina, yes, sex with feelings is definitely better then sex with a stranger ... but that ain't bad either. After the OP has been with a few different ladies, loved and lost, and basically just gained more life experience ... he will probably realize the first time was really just the first of many.
I pray this is the case. I just don't want to look back even further down the line and still feel they way I do now and regret not taking action earlier. Because even now at 25 I look back at the last 6 or so years and regret not trying to address these issues sooner or before its ultimately too late.
Posted By: USUfan
I actually think this guy has his head on straight.  Like all of us, he has his issues, or is London issue free? :-)  I actually envy this guy. He's younger than me and due to his line of work, he also probably has a heck of a lot more money to spend, and because of that, he could have some sessions with some first class providers.
Envying me may be going a bit too far. I may be younger but I don't really feel young, I feel like time is running out and I will never be normal. Oddly enough I don't feel very old either though, I feel more like I'm in some purgatory between adolescent and adult. Maybe because I never had the opportunity to go through normal parts of growing up and the mistakes and lessons that come along with it. When I see young teenage couples walking around I feel like they have passed some barrier in terms of understanding and relating to others and being a real adult that I have not.

Also, the money I have saved up is a direct result of my loneliness. Besides what I need to comfortably support myself I would trade all of the excess for the normalcy that others have. Instead of envying me, look at me and my situation and use it to feel better about your own. I have nobody, I'm alone in every sense of the word. I had to get away from my toxic family and I chose to do so, but now I also have no family. If not for the means to support myself I would have absolutely nothing.
Posted By: Zangari
I've read the OP's first post three times now, and there's a lot of pain there.  I don't envy what he's gone through.  I'm glad he's dealing with these issues openly & honestly.   And he's still young--it's a very positive sign that he's addressing these issues at age 25 rather than at age 45.
I appreciate your optimism, I just hope I can overcome some of these issues this year and not keep letting time pass me by due to my fears.
Posted By: OhCharlie
Sex doesn't fix everything, and we are most certainly not in the business of trying to fuck someone's troubles away. That doesn't happen. Can sexual experience help build ones confidence? Sure. But it is not the end all and be all that you're trying to make it out to be.
I understand this completely. I would never expect to or be selfish enough to assume that any provider I go to must bear the burden of my issues. I know full well I am not paying for a therapy session. Even if the experience is absolutely amazing and couldn't go better I do not expect it to fix everything, or realistically even anything. Hell, I'm sure there is a very real possibility it could make things worse for me. But I have to take that chance, my indecision and fear has gotten me to where I am now. I just hope it will put sex into a more realistic perspective for myself. Even if it doesn't give me one iota of confidence I hope it will just take the edge off and ease my curiosity. Make no mistake about it, I can very well distinguish the difference between just being horny and being lonely. I understand that I am both and a provider will only temporarily alleviate the former issue. But if it even brings me an inch closer to helping myself solve the loneliness then it will be worth everything to me.

Thanks for all the help again everyone, I have a lot of thinking to do but basically every uncertainty I could possibly have was addressed and just knowing a little bit more of what to expect is invaluable.

-- Modified on 7/23/2012 9:05:55 PM

BeyondAllHope3864 reads

Hi everyone, I have been a lurker on this site for probably a year now but finally decided to take the plunge and really commit to this hobby. I don't want to put too much a long backstory but basically I am a 25 year old virgin who has never really had any sexual experiences and I really need to do something proactive about it before it ruins even more of my life. My insecurities have taken too much of my life already. I was raised in a strict (AKA fanatical) Evangelic household in the heart of the Bible Belt where I basically reinforced that any intimate contact with others or even yourself is mortal sin unless it is confined to marriage. It was so repressive that at 15 my parents and pastor tried to exorcise me when my father found porn on my computer. It was at that point I basically swore off sex to save myself future embarrassment and intervention. Yet in the last 2 years I moved to the East Coast, dropped the religion and am now completely, 100% estranged from my family. I have a relatively normal existence now except for the fact that at this age with the sexual experience of a 12 year old and bad anxiety I literally cannot make romantic connections with women. I have read similar topics here about this and while a lot of advice says to not get into the hobby in your 20's because of how addicting it can become is probably very smart, I just don't see myself making any progress the traditional way. In fact I have only gotten more anxious and less successful with the passing time. Money is probably the only thing that is a non-issue for myself (you would be surprised how much a single web developer can save who never dates, travels , and that was taught materialism is a sin...)

Long story short I recently reached out a older (35+), experienced, traveling provider about setting up an appointment in about a month. She responded back friendly and told me her donation rates but because of how new I am to this and the discretion surrounding the hobby I don't know how to explain the details of my situation to her... She said I could either respond to the e-mail or text her (she left me the #). I have spent time reading FAQs on this site and topics with similar questions and there seems to be a lot of conflicting information. I realize this may be because all providers are different and have different requirements. But I don't know what to do. How do I explain in an e-mail or text about what I want or sexual discussion in general if you are not suppose to outright talk about sex? I don't really know how I can use all the acronyms and such to explain this. I was upfront and honest in the email about my age and that I had never done any of this before but I don't think I can convey to her just how literal I am being with that statement. I just want to be 100% honest about everything so she can back out if she is not comfortable with anything.

I know their safety is first priority and LE is a problem and I am only paying for companionship and whatever happens between two consenting adults is their own business but the necessary discretion is providing me with a lot of uncertainty. I don't know what to do. Should just travel to Amsterdam or something? and just do it legally in a regulated place where I don't have to worry about LE or dancing around the issues with jargon and I don't really understand at all. I know these questions may sound naive but I l legitimately have no clue what I am doing. Any help would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

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Bostonguy572027 reads

First of all, no offense intended but no one, not us and not the ladies you are going to see care about anything you wrote in the first half of your post.   You are hiring a woman to have sex with you.  Telling her it's your first time may be a good idea but that's about it.  

As far as telling her what you want, well, the reality is you don't get to do that until after you pay her and she is sure that you are not LE.  The best option you have is to read the reviews here on TER and try to find ladies who appear to do the things that you want to do.  

If you are really nervous about LE and bent on doing some sort of menu advanced screening your best bet may be to make your first time a visit to one of the legal brothels in Nevada.  

Keep reading here and ask questions but please, spare us the novels.  It's not necessary to us helping you and, honestly, most folks won't read it all.

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crazyshit2019 reads

What did you exactly say to her?

Providers never want to get into explicit things over email/text, as it leaves a trail of info that could be used against her and is just kinda plain stupid.  Over time this might get relaxed if she gets to know you, but at this point she knows nothing about you, other than info you have supplied and that she can verify and Google.  Same thing with you and her, which you have experienced.

You can just say..."Hi, I am in a unique situation because I am not only new to this, but I am very inexperienced.  In fact, I am a virgin.  I wanted to disclose this because I know this is probably a unique situation, and I wanted to make sure that you were comfortable with this."

That's all you need to say.  You don't need to go into explicit details or anything else other than what I just said.

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serpius1574 reads

Crazy,

Along with what you stated, if and only IF the provider asks for more details, then you can say something along the lines of "I would like to have an one hour full service incall session". That's all. Well reviewed providers already know what "full service" means... nothing more needs to be said.

Now, if he would to pick a Backpage lady, then he will get all kinds of meanings of what "full service" entails. That's where I'd tell this newbie... stick with ladies of TER.

Enough said...

sunrosc

Posted By: crazyshit
What did you exactly say to her?

Providers never want to get into explicit things over email/text, as it leaves a trail of info that could be used against her and is just kinda plain stupid.  Over time this might get relaxed if she gets to know you, but at this point she knows nothing about you, other than info you have supplied and that she can verify and Google.  Same thing with you and her, which you have experienced.

You can just say..."Hi, I am in a unique situation because I am not only new to this, but I am very inexperienced.  In fact, I am a virgin.  I wanted to disclose this because I know this is probably a unique situation, and I wanted to make sure that you were comfortable with this."

That's all you need to say.  You don't need to go into explicit details or anything else other than what I just said.

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BeyondAllHope1859 reads

Thanks for the help. I apologize for the novel but oddly enough on another site I posted a barebones "I'm a virgin and want to have with a escort" thread and was basically given the exact opposite advice. That at my age there are no shortage of "civi girls" and that I would be doing myself a disservice as whatever confidence and experience I gain from this would not translate into the dating world. I assumed if I gave more information here it would have been beneficial to actually getting assistance instead of "hit the gym, fake it til you make it, approach and get rejected by 10 girls today, etc..." I assumed wrong, again I apologize for anyone that wasted their time reading the novel.

Next, I didn't actually tell her anything yet. Just that "I had never done this before". I never said I was a virgin and didn't plan on giving her my above life story. I posted it here because I was expecting if I didn't I'd get the same advice from people who were able to get women in their 20's... I will send her an email with the basically what you wrote above but the isn't the fact that she is talking about her donation rates and the fact I am mentioning I'm a virgin pretty much obvious sexual discussion that could be used as a "trail"? If I wait til I meet her and after I pay to reveal my inexperience then she may not be comfortable. It says she is beginner friendly on her site but I have a feeling that beginner means new to the hobby, not new to sex in general...

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NicoToscani1602 reads

Posted By: BeyondAllHope
Thanks for the help. I apologize for the novel but oddly enough on another site I posted a barebones "I'm a virgin and want to have with a escort" thread and was basically given the exact opposite advice. That at my age there are no shortage of "civi girls" and that I would be doing myself a disservice as whatever confidence and experience I gain from this would not translate into the dating world. I assumed if I gave more information here it would have been beneficial to actually getting assistance instead of "hit the gym, fake it til you make it, approach and get rejected by 10 girls today, etc..." I assumed wrong, again I apologize for anyone that wasted their time reading the novel.

Next, I didn't actually tell her anything yet. Just that "I had never done this before". I never said I was a virgin and didn't plan on giving her my above life story. I posted it here because I was expecting if I didn't I'd get the same advice from people who were able to get women in their 20's... I will send her an email with the basically what you wrote above but the isn't the fact that she is talking about her donation rates and the fact I am mentioning I'm a virgin pretty much obvious sexual discussion that could be used as a "trail"? If I wait til I meet her and after I pay to reveal my inexperience then she may not be comfortable. It says she is beginner friendly on her site but I have a feeling that beginner means new to the hobby, not new to sex in general...

Do you have VIP here on TER?

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radiodictum1462 reads

Maybe I can help. I was a newbie till just recently. I too looked at the TER site and the reviews for a long time before I got up the nerve. Well I shouldn't have waited so long. I chose a well-reviewed TER provider so I knew what I was going to get and the experience was pretty much as described.

One time isn't enough to be an expert but if you are anxious and waiting I would tell you to go ahead. The providers know what you want and they know what to do. In the end it's much less worriesome than trying to impress someone who you want to like you back and see you again (not that you don't want that to a certain extent with a provider, but you know what I mean). You are anonymous. You never have to see this person again. If you didn't make your best impression all you have to do is find someone else and try again. There's no rejection.

And there's nothing wrong with arriving and saying you're new at this or you want to take it slow. Think of any business you go to -- the best ones are the ones that work to make you want to come back. Go for it.

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guybeingaguy1474 reads

First - I can tell you are articulate and intelligent from your post . This tells me you should not have a problem being a gentleman with whoever you see . VERY important to just be kind , respectful and a true gentleman !

Second - I am 45, have never had a girlfriend and had fucked up parents I cut off at age 16 - I can totally relate to your life and WHY you are doing this .
That being said .........This is JUST sex - nothing more . If simply getting a few great blowjobs or having a lady scream " Your a god !  Fuck me harder baby ! " increases your confidence and helps you on your journey then fine , go for it !  
For me it does not - it is pay for play straight up sex , does not in any way correlate to conventional " dating ". I think it will take you about 5 times to see if this is a route you want to go and see if it helps your confidence - it may , it may not . Nothing ventured , nothing gained and it is FUN :)

Third - Yeah , you cannot tell her your life story until you meet . Sorry, rules of the game . Give her all your screening info , mention you are a newbie and your age .Thats it until you two meet . Newbie is important for obvious reasons , age is important as you can imagine a MILF feels kinda wierd screwing a guy who is her sons age , thats understandable .
Myself ( in your shoes ) .............The " virgin " thing is tricky. Its important to you - I can tell, and I understand . To tell her ahead of time or not ?  I have heard a few ladies discuss this and they feel your first time is special and they really would rather not take that from you . If you tell her during the warm up conversation she might decide to end the date - put yourself in her shoes for a second - I could understand that . If you don't tell her .................I don't see where there would be a problem . She knows your a newbie so if you can't find her pussy she knows why :)

Now we gotta find you the right chick !  MOST all of us here have climbed the ladder and learned a lot . I have done it and then I stepped up to a " top 10 " lady :) HOLY FUCK Batman !!!  They came in the door, set down their things and simply fucked my brains out . Straight up, treated my body like a amusement park ride . Screamed " fuck me harder " every minute having my dick in her mouth or pussy . My god they can fuck !
They are in the top 10 for a reason !!!!  I suggest starting here first so you can experience what its all about then experiment with others who intrest you .

Last suggestion ..............Go to tonightsgirlfriend.com . Watch the beginning and the end as she closes the door . This will give you an idea as to what to expect and if this is going to help you open up sexually .

Good luck, and hope I helped .

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Ashleyann101881 reads

it will give you some general guidelines to follow.  

As far as your personal situation, you can open up to your companion upon meeting.  That is the whole purpose of meeting and spending time together.

Just be honest and you have nothing to worry about.

Good luck and enjoy yourself.

Regards,

Ashley Ann

Related Link: http://www.ashleyanntaylor.com

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crazyshit1672 reads

But I will warn you.  If you lose your virginity to her, it's like having your first sushi experience be like going to Masa in the Time Warner Center.  Or your first driving experience being behind a Formula One racecar.

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Zangari1527 reads


 There are a lot of people out there like you, children of superstitious, fanatical parents.  You've shown considerable courage by breaking free & starting a new life.  

You're worrying too much about sex.  It's the most natural thing in the world.  And men have been paying for sex for thousands of years.  The only thing stopping you from enjoying sex is the guilt you seem to be carrying around on your shoulders.  Drop that weight and you'll feel better.  Here are the things I'd recommend:

1.  Join a screening service like P411 or Datecheck.  Just see providers that are listed by your screening service & check their reviews on TER & ECCIE.

2.  See a therapist.  You need to talk about these issues with a professional you can trust.  Don't  dump these issues on your provider.  

3.  Get on an exercise regimen.  If you're already doing this, keep doing it.   You'll be healthier, feel better about yourself & have more confidence when you're with a beautiful provider.  

4.  I'm sure your parents instilled a Protestant work ethic in you.  Keep that, it will serve you well.   Always remember that work comes before play.

5. You might try to reestablish a relationship with your parents at some point.  As they get older, they may change.  I'm sure they love you & miss you.  

Good luck, --z  

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serpius1662 reads

Zangari,

Very well said! Especially numbers 4 & 5. I've been there and done that!

sunrosc

Posted By: Zangari

 There are a lot of people out there like you, children of superstitious, fanatical parents.  You've shown considerable courage by breaking free & starting a new life.  

You're worrying too much about sex.  It's the most natural thing in the world.  And men have been paying for sex for thousands of years.  The only thing stopping you from enjoying sex is the guilt you seem to be carrying around on your shoulders.  Drop that weight and you'll feel better.  Here are the things I'd recommend:

1.  Join a screening service like P411 or Datecheck.  Just see providers that are listed by your screening service & check their reviews on TER & ECCIE.

2.  See a therapist.  You need to talk about these issues with a professional you can trust.  Don't  dump these issues on your provider.  

3.  Get on an exercise regimen.  If you're already doing this, keep doing it.   You'll be healthier, feel better about yourself & have more confidence when you're with a beautiful provider.  

4.  I'm sure your parents instilled a Protestant work ethic in you.  Keep that, it will serve you well.   Always remember that work comes before play.

5. You might try to reestablish a relationship with your parents at some point.  As they get older, they may change.  I'm sure they love you & miss you.  

Good luck, --z  

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OhCharlie1869 reads

But are you sure this is what you want? Do you want your first to be a provider? Or would you rather it be with someone you have an actual, real, emotional connection with? Do you want to go in and learn? Or do you want to be gently lead through? Or, do you want to cram it all in and do everything so that you have a porn-style story for losing your virginity?

Not to sound like a mush, or to imply that you are one, but think more about the type of session that you want for your first time and find a provider that can help you achieve that. From experience, I know that a guy can leave a situation like this and be so, so happy that he made this decision, or he can leave and feel awful that he had to pay someone in order to experience that kind of intimacy for the first time. Given what you've said here (and yes, I did read and I did care), I would say it's important to find someone that can make you feel comfortable, and is dedicated to turning this date into a memory, rather than a back alley show.

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Zangari1538 reads

Posted By: OhCharlie
But are you sure this is what you want? Do you want your first to be a provider? Or would you rather it be with someone you have an actual, real, emotional connection with? --snip--
So when's that going to happen, Charlie? The OP is a 25 year old virgin.  It sounds like you DIDN'T read his entire post.  But I'll quote from it since you didn't have the time: "I have...the sexual experience of a 12 year old and bad anxiety I literally cannot make romantic connections with women."   You got that now?  

Posted By: OhCharlie
A guy can leave a situation like this and be so, so happy that he made this decision, or he can leave and feel awful   --snip--
It's a terrible idea to place such high importance on a first sexual encounter.  Most of us fumble through it and get better over time.   Unlike the 'guy' you know, the OP should go in with a reasonable expectation that his first experience will be nerve-wracking.  But if he genuinely likes the girl, he can always book her again.  I've been around for a long time, and a second session is almost always better than the first.  

Posted By: OhCharlie
 find someone that can make you feel comfortable, and is dedicated to turning this date into a memory, rather than a back alley show.
The problem is he has no idea who to call and you don't either.  Even if you lived in his town and sent your ATF to his room, there's no guarantee that they will click.   Nice close with the 'back alley show' business.  You're just a cold-eyed realist trying to help a kid out, right?  OMG.   --z

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NicoToscani1454 reads

Zangari, awesome post!  Seriously, I'm getting real tired of people who stigmatize someone who loses their virginity to a provider.  As another poster who is smarter than me and whose name I forget once said, "people wrongly act as if losing their virginity should be celebrated as a scene in a John Hughes movie."  Well, I say to hell with that!  Has it ever occurred to some people that maybe, just maybe, losing one's virginity is not the big deal that conventional society makes it out to be?  

Besides, in this day and age, it's become harder and harder to start and maintain a long-term intimate relationship, and this is for many reasons.  I think if someone is desperate to lose their virginity (I'm not saying everyone has to lose their virginity. If they have no interest in sex, that's their right.), I think it can be arguably said that the smart and economic thing to do would be to hire a provider.

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OhCharlie1494 reads

There is much more to sex than just a quick suck and fuck, whether you admit it to yourself or not. We all bring our background into it, and given his, I do think it is more important to find a good provider, as opposed to the ones you guys so regularly denegrate on here.

Posted By: USUfan
Zangari, awesome post!  Seriously, I'm getting real tired of people who stigmatize someone who loses their virginity to a provider.  As another poster who is smarter than me and whose name I forget once said, "people wrongly act as if losing their virginity should be celebrated as a scene in a John Hughes movie."  Well, I say to hell with that!  Has it ever occurred to some people that maybe, just maybe, losing one's virginity is not the big deal that conventional society makes it out to be?  

Besides, in this day and age, it's become harder and harder to start and maintain a long-term intimate relationship, and this is for many reasons.  I think if someone is desperate to lose their virginity (I'm not saying everyone has to lose their virginity. If they have no interest in sex, that's their right.), I think it can be arguably said that the smart and economic thing to do would be to hire a provider.

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Zangari1252 reads


Where on this thread did ANYONE advocate a 'quick suck & fuck'?  Where on this thread did ANYONE denigrate providers?   You're introducing a laundry list of complaints & resentments that have NOTHING to do with this thread.    --z  

Posted By: OhCharlie
There is much more to sex than just a quick suck and fuck, whether you admit it to yourself or not. We all bring our background into it, and given his, I do think it is more important to find a good provider, as opposed to the ones you guys so regularly denegrate on here.
[te]

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London Rayne1565 reads

P4p is pretty much just sex honey, and if he is only getting an hour...well, it's not much more than a suck and fk and maybe 10 min. of actual talking. Only so much "I really care about your feelings" is generated in this business, which is exactly why it may not always be a good idea for a first timer. She is simply trying to contrast civie sex with paid sex, and she is spot on. It has everything to do with the thread if you're any good at reading between the lines.

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NicoToscani1373 reads

OhCharlie, you are committing the logical fallacy of poisoning the well.  You are saying that we are "denigrating providers" in an attempt to portray us as the bad guys and to discredit anything we have to say.

Please explain to me how I, or anyone else in this thread, have "denigrated providers"?  Where in my post that you quoted did I "denigrate providers"?  

By the way, I actually agree with you that if this guy is going to lose his virginity to a provider, he'd better find a good provider.

-- Modified on 7/21/2012 3:16:59 PM

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ddp711484 reads

I don't think Charlie was saying don't see a provider or stigmatizing it at all. He/she just seemed to be suggesting to think it through before choosing that route and to make sure the OP chooses a "good" one if he does (seems like an obvious point).

I made the comment about the John Hughes film awhile back. I think most guys are not looking for a magical moment and just looking to "get it in" the first time. I know that applied to me. It seems like the OP has made it up into a big deal in his mind, and is also looking to get it over with as well.

I believe, like it appears you do as well, that a few years from now, the OP will realize this was all to do about nothing. It's just sex. I honestly don't believe guys look back at their first time like a scene from some sappy movie. For fear of sounding like a mangina, yes, sex with feelings is definitely better then sex with a stranger ... but that ain't bad either. After the OP has been with a few different ladies, loved and lost, and basically just gained more life experience ... he will probably realize the first time was really just the first of many.

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London Rayne1609 reads

Telling her it was terrible advice is a bit much, when it's no better or worse than the bs that's always given. I won't see a virgin for money, so there ya go. I also won't fk a father and a son while we are on the subject. For most men, sex is just that and it is more like a rite of passage vs. a woman who generally wants an emotional connection on the first time...that I get, but saying her advice is bad just because YOU could give a fk where you put your d*ck the first time is ludicrous.

She has valid points. Not only could his first time go bad with a provider, but then he is out of money as well. With a civie, at least the experience just sucked and he saved 2-500 bucks! If anything, I applaud her for not being a greedy hooker trying to get him to pay for the crap knowing it might not be all it's cracked up to be. I would not take his money either knowing he was a virgin. I simply don't need more on my plate to think about, and being paid for a guy's first time does not make me feel so honorable or proud of myself.

There is no "stigma" but don't sit here and tell someone else they have to feel the way you or anyone else does. If he wants his first time to be with a hooker so be it. Plenty around who don't much care about it being his first time...I am not one of them.





-- Modified on 7/21/2012 4:21:34 PM

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NicoToscani1671 reads

It's just that I and plenty of others see it differently.  Rest assured that I totally support your right to NOT see virgins for money.  Gotta love the free market and capitalism.

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Zangari1745 reads

Posted By: London Rayne
Telling her it was terrible advice is a bit much...I won't see a virgin for money, so there ya go. I also won't fk a father and a son while we are on the subject. --snip--
Actually, we weren't on the subject of you fucking a father & son.  That has NOTHING to do with this thread, until you threw it out there like a stink bomb.  
Posted By:  London Rayne
saying her advice is bad just because YOU could give a fk where you put your d*ck the first time is ludicrous. --snip--
I said that most people fumble through their first sexual experience. But since you don't see virgins, you wouldn't know anything about that.  
Posted By:  London Rayne
 She has valid points. Not only could his first time go bad with a provider, but then he is out of money as well. With a civie, at least the experience just sucked and he saved 2-500 bucks!  --snip--
Did you even bother to read the first post in this thread?  This young man admitted that he's unable to form any kind of relationship in the civie world.  And since he has no girlfriend, doesn't travel, etc. he has plenty of disposable income.  But this thread isn't about him anymore, is it?  It's now about you.  --z





-- Modified on 7/21/2012 4:21:34 PM

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London Rayne1323 reads

that differed from yours and what you think every man should feel about his first encounter. You also went a step further and suggested that everyone who gave opposing options was putting a stigma on him being a virgin, when that is far from the case. Bottom line, is your advice was no better than the next.

I think it's a cop out to always turn to paid companions to get guys through every bump in the road if you want the truth of it. Far too many run from obtaining the social skills needed to interact in normal relationships, and sex with a hooker won't change any of that. He is still going to have to learn to communicate with the opposite sex at some point, and getting shot down is not going to diminish just because we don't do it here.

The ONLY reason I reiterated that I would not fk a virgin, was because YOU made it sound as if we were all the same and should think alike. I was merely illustrating how wrong you are about one's feelings, beliefs, and what they choose to partake in here. You don't care...others might. It really is that simple. Some guys DO care who their first time is with, and some don't. Acting like it's 100 percent on either side is projecting.

I feel sorry for him and hope he has a great experience the first go round, but I also think it is a bit naive to be oblivious to the other very serious dangers you're so desperately trying to force down his throat, and anyone else who disagrees with you. The guy pretty much wrote a damn dissertation to introduce himself, so that might be the first clue that sex is not the only thing he is having issues with here.

That's what you in all of your MANLINESS missed...he has more issues than simply going fk someone, so either address that or don't get so pissed when someone else can see past their libido. Charlie was commenting more on his fkin obvious "issues" with sex, and not just his d*ck, but I can see how YOU would miss that lol. If all he wanted to do was fk a hooker, he would not have felt the need to unburden his freaking soul!

"To pay or not to pay" is not the only thing he was tossing out there, so for you to say that others brought in stuff that has nothing to do with the thread is retarded! It's not just about ONE thing, but that's all you seem to have gotten from this post. "The boy needs to get laid." Right, that will change the world for him I am sure lol.






-- Modified on 7/21/2012 6:32:22 PM

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Zangari1370 reads


Anything you post on a board is open to interpretation & criticism.  If you can't handle that, then stay off the board.  In addition to that, you & Charlie introduced bullshit elements on this thread about 'hostility towards providers' and 'fucking fathers & sons' that have NOTHING to do with this thread.  

Posted By: London Rayne
Bottom line, is your advice was no better than the next.
I think it's a cop out to always turn to paid companions to get guys through every bump in the road --snip--
Your self-righteousness is a bit tiresome.  Let's talk about this little 'bump in the road': The young man who created this thread lived through a hellish upbringing.  His fanatical parents subjected him to an exorcism at 15 just because he looked at porn.  I'm sure that will open the door for you to tell us all about your trials & tribulations.  Start your own thread  & we'll discuss.  --z



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London Rayne1606 reads

making this thread about YOU, YOUR opinions, and what YOU think we should all think and agree with, so I will leave you to it since you can't get your head out of your ass long enough to see how full of it you are. Self Righteous has nothing to do with taking into account what OTHER people value...chew on that a bit hypocrite. You are the one telling other people they can't have any other feelings than yours...project much?

He asked for advice from all parties..not just from people like you who are simply here to disregard the obvious dangers that come with hobbying. Are you going to help him or continue to "try" to debate with Charlie and I, who think you're full of it? You sound like a 12 year old when you don't get your way. "Let us discuss your trials" bwahahhaa. Honey, that's your problem not mine. Why do you KEEP saying that same bs over and over..it still makes zero sense! Add to that you have NO REVIEWS lol. Yea, you're credible.

-- Modified on 7/21/2012 6:23:29 PM

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Zangari1403 reads


In regard to the debate scorecard, it's clear that you didn't carefully read the original post, as I pointed out in a previous post.  You also introduced irrelevant elements into the 'debate' that weren't there before.  
Your debate scorecard = Automatic F.    

Posted By: London Rayne
He asked for advice from all parties..not just from people like you who are simply here to disregard the obvious dangers that come with hobbying.
What a curious statement above from a provider.  Given your assertion about 'people like me' who "disregard the obvious dangers that come with hobbying", one wonders what you're now doing for a living.  Did you leave the hobby and become a nun?  We can only assume that you're posting from a convent. --z

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London Rayne1487 reads

If you had not only read but UNDERSTOOD the OP, then you would have realized 5 ranting posts ago, that this is MUCH more than just having sex with whomever. ALL you did was discredit posts that reiterated what he was "feeling" and not just what he typed. It's obvious you lack much more than comprehension though, since you can't even keep your own posts straight from one to the next, and have to interject hypocrisies when you fail to make your point. Sucks to be you...

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Zangari1335 reads

Which of your points was proven?  That an exorcism at 15 is just a 'bump in the road'.  Or that you wouldn't fuck him & his father at the same time?  

I don't see him validating anything that you've stated here.  Sorry.  --z

Posted By: London Rayne
If you had not only read but UNDERSTOOD the OP, then you would have realized 5 ranting posts ago, that this is MUCH more than just having sex with whomever. ALL you did was discredit posts that reiterated what he was "feeling" and not just what he typed. It's obvious you lack much more than comprehension though, since you can't even keep your own posts straight from one to the next, and have to interject hypocrisies when you fail to make your point. Sucks to be you...

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London Rayne1502 reads

You're a hypocrite for calling others self righteous when YOU are the only one discrediting what others have to say...that speaks for itself. Now, go get laid so you can have reviews and at least "apear" to know wtf you're talking about. As of now..you simply look foolish, immature, and can't even read between the lines to what someone posts. My point from the very begining was that YOUR opinion was not the only one in this thread that mattered, nor was your advice any better than the next...that was proven.  For the record, your FIRST post I agree with 99 percent, and I did not go behind you and say it was terrible as you did to someone else, who also gave GOOD advice. Bye now.



-- Modified on 7/21/2012 7:16:42 PM

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Zangari1586 reads

Posted By: London Rayne
You're a hypocrite for calling others self righteous when YOU are the only one discrediting what others have to say...that speaks for itself. Now, go get laid so you can have reviews and at least "apear" to know wtf you're talking about. As of now..you simply look foolish, immature, and can't even read between the lines to what someone posts. My point from the very begining was that YOUR opinion was not the only one in this thread that mattered, nor was your advice any better than the next...that was proven.  For the record, your FIRST post I agree with 99 percent, and I did not go behind you and say it was terrible as you did to someone else, who also gave GOOD advice. Bye now.



-- Modified on 7/21/2012 7:16:42 PM

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NicoToscani1673 reads

Sorry, London, but I'm just not seeing it.

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OhCharlie1547 reads

Actually, Im a provider with legitimate experience with clients like this, just trying to encourage him to do his research and set it up so he'll have a good experience. Heaven forbid.

Posted By: Zangari
Posted By: OhCharlie
But are you sure this is what you want? Do you want your first to be a provider? Or would you rather it be with someone you have an actual, real, emotional connection with? --snip--
So when's that going to happen, Charlie? The OP is a 25 year old virgin.  It sounds like you DIDN'T read his entire post.  But I'll quote from it since you didn't have the time: "I have...the sexual experience of a 12 year old and bad anxiety I literally cannot make romantic connections with women."   You got that now?  

Posted By: OhCharlie
A guy can leave a situation like this and be so, so happy that he made this decision, or he can leave and feel awful   --snip--
It's a terrible idea to place such high importance on a first sexual encounter.  Most of us fumble through it and get better over time.   Unlike the 'guy' you know, the OP should go in with a reasonable expectation that his first experience will be nerve-wracking.  But if he genuinely likes the girl, he can always book her again.  I've been around for a long time, and a second session is almost always better than the first.  

Posted By: OhCharlie
 find someone that can make you feel comfortable, and is dedicated to turning this date into a memory, rather than a back alley show.
The problem is he has no idea who to call and you don't either.  Even if you lived in his town and sent your ATF to his room, there's no guarantee that they will click.   Nice close with the 'back alley show' business.  You're just a cold-eyed realist trying to help a kid out, right?  OMG.   --z

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Zangari1462 reads

No one discouraged the OP from doing research.  In fact, on this thread he was encouraged to get screened & read reviews. But the thread isn't about him anymore.  You should start a new thread about all your resentments & we'll discuss.   --z

Posted By: OhCharlie
Actually, Im a provider with legitimate experience with clients like this, just trying to encourage him to do his research and set it up so he'll have a good experience. Heaven forbid.

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OhCharlie1488 reads

Obviously, it's not. It's now big man Z's thread. Congratulations.

People are different. Life is so much easier if you just acknowledge and accept that.

Posted By: Zangari
No one discouraged the OP from doing research.  In fact, on this thread he was encouraged to get screened & read reviews. But the thread isn't about him anymore.  You should start a new thread about all your resentments & we'll discuss.   --z
Posted By: OhCharlie
Actually, Im a provider with legitimate experience with clients like this, just trying to encourage him to do his research and set it up so he'll have a good experience. Heaven forbid.

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London Rayne1549 reads

This thread is about us because we disagreed with HIM whilst trying to help the OP lol. We are self righteous and have issues, because HE looks like an idiot, is a hypocrite, and can't even freaking dissect a post properly. Yep, makes perfect sense why he has no reviews after "being in the hobby for so long."

We considered more than the guy's d*ck after what he revealed about his life, and we are the ones handing out bad advice lol. Brilliant. You can't pay for this type of entertainment.

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Zangari1614 reads


You never explained how an exorcism at 15 is a 'bump in the road' Why don't you do that now.

You also stated that you wouldn't fuck a father & son at the same time.  Explain how that comment was relevant or helpful to anyone.

You won't defend your own comments on this thread because you can't.  You just threw garbage around in order to make this thread about you.  --z

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NicoToscani1552 reads

yet it is she who is committing several logical fallacies, most notably the ad hominem one.

No offense, London. You seem like a great woman who is also very beautiful, and I do respect you.  But, if you want to make your point in a better way, please limit your logical fallacies when making your arguments.  

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London Rayne1413 reads

Your buddy here is the only one with every fallacy on the list in play, and on top of that he is a hypocrite. I am not avoiding the issues and calling others self righteous, or saying they give terrible advice to get the focus off of my stupidity...that's z's game.  My very first post simply said his advice and opinion were of no more significance than the next person's, and that was proven as the OP himself validiated all the advice that was given.

My only reason for mentioning not wanting to take money from a virgin or fkin a father and son was because Z and his wacked out logic, seems to think that us hookers can't also have values about who and what we do...had everything to do with his stupid posts, and the things the OP said. He flat out said he knew some providers would NOT see him if they knew he was a virgin, so how the hell is me agreeing with that and adding another thing I would NOT do for money, so off course?

Z seems to think like the majority of washed up hobbyists, that just because we are hookers we must also agree with every other illegal or immoral act on the planet or we are all "self righteous." So, on that note anyone who thinks rape, murder, stealing, and incest are wrong must also be self righteous because afterall, you are already breaking one of the rules by being in an illegal activity. That's how retarded his statement was, so I addressed it. HE was the one who flew off the handle and cried like a 3 year old with a skinned knee, after my post. It is a freakin discussion board and anyone can reply!!

I am done with this thread, and the little boys in it. It is amazing how some people seriously think the shit they type makes any sense at all, just because they say it over and over again. No offense to you, but if you rode any closer up Z's ass on this thread, you may as well just help remove his head. I don't have an issue with someone not agreeing with me, but at least use some valid reasons other than just saying, "Bla, bla, bla let's start a thread about your issues, go back to the convent, blaa."  Talk about Ad Hominem...

Contrary to his bs about wanting to help the OP...all he wants is his stupid opinion to be more valid than the next person's. Talk about compassionate.



-- Modified on 7/22/2012 12:50:47 AM

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BeyondAllHope1313 reads

Posted By: OhCharlie
But are you sure this is what you want? Do you want your first to be a provider? Or would you rather it be with someone you have an actual, real, emotional connection with? Do you want to go in and learn? Or do you want to be gently lead through? Or, do you want to cram it all in and do everything so that you have a porn-style story for losing your virginity?
At this point I am pretty sure it is what I want. I debated for a while going to Amsterdam or Antwerp to legally do it there but ultimately I would rather pay an provider here for a more GFE type session that I can get a solid amount a time with. At least 2 hours probably because I have a feeling there will be a lot of performance anxiety on my part and I don't want to feel rushed in any way. I'd also prefer having an understanding, experienced, nonjudgemental provider who would help me learn and gently lead me though. Obviously in an ideal world this is not the route I would choose and would love to somehow be with someone I have an emotional connection with. But if given the choice between waiting indefinitely for that to come along, or trying to hook up with someone at a bar who will actually expect something of my performance and may even find my virginity reveal repulsing, or a patient provider who has seen it all, then I'd have to go with the provider. I don't think a provider could damage me anymore to sex than a random girl I meet somewhere that may embarrass me for my lack of experience.
Posted By: guybeingaguy
This is JUST sex - nothing more . If simply getting a few great blowjobs or having a lady scream " Your a god !  Fuck me harder baby ! " increases your confidence and helps you on your journey then fine , go for it !  
For me it does not - it is pay for play straight up sex , does not in any way correlate to conventional " dating ". I think it will take you about 5 times to see if this is a route you want to go and see if it helps your confidence - it may , it may not . Nothing ventured , nothing gained and it is FUN :)

Third - Yeah , you cannot tell her your life story until you meet . Sorry, rules of the game . Give her all your screening info , mention you are a newbie and your age .Thats it until you two meet . Newbie is important for obvious reasons , age is important as you can imagine a MILF feels kinda wierd screwing a guy who is her sons age , thats understandable .
I fully understand this is just sex. I don't expect it to be a silver bullet for confidence and that after I will feel like a new man with a new outlook on the world. But being a frustrated, lonely, 25 year old virgin I just want to know what I am missing. I want to know what it feels like to be with someone, what it feels like to be so close to another human body. I feel like such an outsider all the time because everyone is constantly talking about sex and their hookups and it just eats away at me and makes me feel even more irreparably broken. I just want to experience it and see what I am missing. I know full well it may just start with "I want to experience this a few times" and may lead into an addiction. But it is a chance I have to take.

Also the reason I chose the 35+ provider was because on similar topics the general consensus seemed to be that older, more experienced providers may feel more comfortable taking on a virgin then younger ones. Is that true? I have absolutely no idea. I was just going with the common trend I saw. I could see how many younger providers may feel uncomfortable with someone their own age, who is so inexperienced that they may have to teach. But again, I do not know.
Posted By: London Rayne

She has valid points. Not only could his first time go bad with a provider, but then he is out of money as well. With a civie, at least the experience just sucked and he saved 2-500 bucks! If anything, I applaud her for not being a greedy hooker trying to get him to pay for the crap knowing it might not be all it's cracked up to be. I would not take his money either knowing he was a virgin. I simply don't need more on my plate to think about, and being paid for a guy's first time does not make me feel so honorable or proud of myself.

There is no "stigma" but don't sit here and tell someone else they have to feel the way you or anyone else does. If he wants his first time to be with a hooker so be it. Plenty around who don't much care about it being his first time...I am not one of them.
I respect your decisions 100% to not sleep with a virgin or do anything else if you are uncomfortable with it. I also do care about how my first time will be, probably too much, so much that it makes very anxious to even imagine. But again, I do not seem to be having so much luck in the dating department and women who I am attracted to can definitely see my insecurity and nervousness when I am around them.  At this age and with my current mentality I know the first girl who I am with will not be my wife. But putting this much pressure on myself and a civi girl to make my first time a good experience is too much to ask. There are too many unknown factors, many more so than with a provider. A provider who has seen it all, knows people will be nervous and is experienced in making people feel relaxed and knows relatively what they are getting into may be the best experience possible at this point. I can't imagine dating a girl for some time then being upfront and honest and revealing that I am a virgin only to have her dump me because I must be so undesirable that nobody has ever slept with me. That would destroy my confidence much more than a less then amazing experience with an escort.

Again, thanks for all the help everyone. I really do appreciate it everyone's input and contributions.

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London Rayne1661 reads

than just getting your weenie wet, as it was suggested that you should not. It's only sex..man up, bla bla bla. That is rather easy for a guy who has been cheating on his wife for 20 years to say here, so keep that in mind. I hope whatever you choose to do, that it does not leave you more empty and defeated for damn sure. You seem like a very genuine, but also lost and confused person and I doubt you will find anything more than sex on demand here. If that's all you want, by all means best of luck...it is certainly not hard to find.


-- Modified on 7/21/2012 6:40:28 PM

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Zangari1659 reads


He spilled his heart in his first post.  Too bad you didn't read it.  It's also galling that you're putting words in the Ops mouth just to feed your own ego.  You really are shameless.    --z

Posted By: London Rayne
than just getting your weenie wet, as it was suggested that you should not. It's only sex..man up, bla bla bla. That is rather easy for a guy who has been cheating on his wife for 20 years to say here, so keep that in mind. I hope whatever you choose to do, that it does not leave you more empty and defeated for damn sure. You seem like a very genuine, but also lost and confused person and I doubt you will find anything more than sex on demand here. If that's all you want, by all means best of luck...it is certainly not hard to find.


-- Modified on 7/21/2012 6:40:28 PM

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NicoToscani1517 reads

I actually think this guy has his head on straight.  Like all of us, he has his issues, or is London issue free? :-)  I actually envy this guy. He's younger than me and due to his line of work, he also probably has a heck of a lot more money to spend, and because of that, he could have some sessions with some first class providers.

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Zangari1687 reads

I've read the OP's first post three times now, and there's a lot of pain there.  I don't envy what he's gone through.  I'm glad he's dealing with these issues openly & honestly.   And he's still young--it's a very positive sign that he's addressing these issues at age 25 rather than at age 45.

Nothing would be better if his first sexual experience was with a girl who loved him.  But based on what he's written, that's not happening any time soon.  So he should see a provider.  But let's not make his first session a make-or-break session.  He doesn't need that pressure.  Even an experienced gent can have a bad session, despite screening & reading reviews.  After the OP has had a few successful sessions, he'll have more confidence in himself.  And then he's much more likely to find a girlfriend.  --z

Posted By: USUfan
I actually think this guy has his head on straight.  Like all of us, he has his issues, or is London issue free? :-)  I actually envy this guy. He's younger than me and due to his line of work, he also probably has a heck of a lot more money to spend, and because of that, he could have some sessions with some first class providers.

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OhCharlie1286 reads

I know that this is a bit like feeding the troll, but I am genuinely curious how you think that "Just get yer dick in there!!" is taking the pressure off?

And, seriously, he's not getting it anytime soon "so he should see a provider"?

Sex doesn't fix everything, and we are most certainly not in the business of trying to fuck someone's troubles away. That doesn't happen. Can sexual experience help build ones confidence? Sure. But it is not the end all and be all that you're trying to make it out to be.

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, just like there's nothing wrong with seeing a provider every day of the week. It's about what's right for each individual. You can disrespect the people in this thread all you want, but that is not going to change. The OP is clearly looking to be comfortable during his encounter, so why go so far to insist he do anything but?

Posted By: Zangari
I've read the OP's first post three times now, and there's a lot of pain there.  I don't envy what he's gone through.  I'm glad he's dealing with these issues openly & honestly.   And he's still young--it's a very positive sign that he's addressing these issues at age 25 rather than at age 45.

Nothing would be better if his first sexual experience was with a girl who loved him.  But based on what he's written, that's not happening any time soon.  So he should see a provider.  But let's not make his first session a make-or-break session.  He doesn't need that pressure.  Even an experienced gent can have a bad session, despite screening & reading reviews.  After the OP has had a few successful sessions, he'll have more confidence in himself.  And then he's much more likely to find a girlfriend.  --z
Posted By: USUfan
I actually think this guy has his head on straight.  Like all of us, he has his issues, or is London issue free? :-)  I actually envy this guy. He's younger than me and due to his line of work, he also probably has a heck of a lot more money to spend, and because of that, he could have some sessions with some first class providers.

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Zangari1579 reads

Posted By: OhCharlie
I know that this is a bit like feeding the troll, but I am genuinely curious how you think that "Just get yer dick in there!!" --snip---
You're feeding the troll by misrepresenting what people say, case in point above.  And you've done this repeatedly throughout this entire thread, like your 'quick suck & fuck' comment earlier.  No one advocated what you're stating and the OP surely doesn't want that,   You also introduced elements like the 'denigration of providers'  when no one had denigrated providers on this thread.  So you brought your own agenda.  

My point was  that the OP may be nervous during the first session & it may not be successful.  So we shouldn't place undue pressure on the first appt.  You used that statement as license to throw garbage around--"Just get yer dick in there!",  "Quick suck & fuck", etc.  You selfishly made this thread about you.   --z


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OhCharlie1710 reads

If you're going to try to argue with me, would you please at least do so in a manner that suggests you've made it past fifth grade and can indeed read for comprehension? I realize it's much more fun to make an ass of yourself and babble on about two words or half a sentence, but you've gotta read the WHOLE post there darlin.

Meh, it was worth a shot.

Posted By: Zangari
Posted By: OhCharlie
I know that this is a bit like feeding the troll, but I am genuinely curious how you think that "Just get yer dick in there!!" --snip---
You're feeding the troll by misrepresenting what people say, case in point above.  And you've done this repeatedly throughout this entire thread, like your 'quick suck & fuck' comment earlier.  No one advocated what you're stating and the OP surely doesn't want that,   You also introduced elements like the 'denigration of providers'  when no one had denigrated providers on this thread.  So you brought your own agenda.  

My point was  that the OP may be nervous during the first session & it may not be successful.  So we shouldn't place undue pressure on the first appt.  You used that statement as license to throw garbage around--"Just get yer dick in there!",  "Quick suck & fuck", etc.  You selfishly made this thread about you.   --z


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Zangari1611 reads


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OhCharlie1354 reads

Honey, sex is just sex. Don't put so much pressure on yourself :)

A more experienced provider, or one with reviews that talk about how comfortable she made them, or how patient she was while an older gentleman tried to "get it up" definitely sounds like what you're looking for. There are younger providers out there who are open minded and patient as well, but in general, a 35+ year old will be more likely to be able to take your hand and guide you through for a good experience.

It seems like you do have a good idea of how to make yourself comfortable and what kind of experience you want. Feel free to share that with the providers you contact (without explicit details of course), and I promise they'll be happy to accommodate you and help to make it a good experience. Best of luck to you :)

Posted By: BeyondAllHope
Posted By: OhCharlie
But are you sure this is what you want? Do you want your first to be a provider? Or would you rather it be with someone you have an actual, real, emotional connection with? Do you want to go in and learn? Or do you want to be gently lead through? Or, do you want to cram it all in and do everything so that you have a porn-style story for losing your virginity?
At this point I am pretty sure it is what I want. I debated for a while going to Amsterdam or Antwerp to legally do it there but ultimately I would rather pay an provider here for a more GFE type session that I can get a solid amount a time with. At least 2 hours probably because I have a feeling there will be a lot of performance anxiety on my part and I don't want to feel rushed in any way. I'd also prefer having an understanding, experienced, nonjudgemental provider who would help me learn and gently lead me though. Obviously in an ideal world this is not the route I would choose and would love to somehow be with someone I have an emotional connection with. But if given the choice between waiting indefinitely for that to come along, or trying to hook up with someone at a bar who will actually expect something of my performance and may even find my virginity reveal repulsing, or a patient provider who has seen it all, then I'd have to go with the provider. I don't think a provider could damage me anymore to sex than a random girl I meet somewhere that may embarrass me for my lack of experience.
Posted By: guybeingaguy
This is JUST sex - nothing more . If simply getting a few great blowjobs or having a lady scream " Your a god !  Fuck me harder baby ! " increases your confidence and helps you on your journey then fine , go for it !  
For me it does not - it is pay for play straight up sex , does not in any way correlate to conventional " dating ". I think it will take you about 5 times to see if this is a route you want to go and see if it helps your confidence - it may , it may not . Nothing ventured , nothing gained and it is FUN :)

Third - Yeah , you cannot tell her your life story until you meet . Sorry, rules of the game . Give her all your screening info , mention you are a newbie and your age .Thats it until you two meet . Newbie is important for obvious reasons , age is important as you can imagine a MILF feels kinda wierd screwing a guy who is her sons age , thats understandable .
I fully understand this is just sex. I don't expect it to be a silver bullet for confidence and that after I will feel like a new man with a new outlook on the world. But being a frustrated, lonely, 25 year old virgin I just want to know what I am missing. I want to know what it feels like to be with someone, what it feels like to be so close to another human body. I feel like such an outsider all the time because everyone is constantly talking about sex and their hookups and it just eats away at me and makes me feel even more irreparably broken. I just want to experience it and see what I am missing. I know full well it may just start with "I want to experience this a few times" and may lead into an addiction. But it is a chance I have to take.

Also the reason I chose the 35+ provider was because on similar topics the general consensus seemed to be that older, more experienced providers may feel more comfortable taking on a virgin then younger ones. Is that true? I have absolutely no idea. I was just going with the common trend I saw. I could see how many younger providers may feel uncomfortable with someone their own age, who is so inexperienced that they may have to teach. But again, I do not know.
Posted By: London Rayne

She has valid points. Not only could his first time go bad with a provider, but then he is out of money as well. With a civie, at least the experience just sucked and he saved 2-500 bucks! If anything, I applaud her for not being a greedy hooker trying to get him to pay for the crap knowing it might not be all it's cracked up to be. I would not take his money either knowing he was a virgin. I simply don't need more on my plate to think about, and being paid for a guy's first time does not make me feel so honorable or proud of myself.

There is no "stigma" but don't sit here and tell someone else they have to feel the way you or anyone else does. If he wants his first time to be with a hooker so be it. Plenty around who don't much care about it being his first time...I am not one of them.
I respect your decisions 100% to not sleep with a virgin or do anything else if you are uncomfortable with it. I also do care about how my first time will be, probably too much, so much that it makes very anxious to even imagine. But again, I do not seem to be having so much luck in the dating department and women who I am attracted to can definitely see my insecurity and nervousness when I am around them.  At this age and with my current mentality I know the first girl who I am with will not be my wife. But putting this much pressure on myself and a civi girl to make my first time a good experience is too much to ask. There are too many unknown factors, many more so than with a provider. A provider who has seen it all, knows people will be nervous and is experienced in making people feel relaxed and knows relatively what they are getting into may be the best experience possible at this point. I can't imagine dating a girl for some time then being upfront and honest and revealing that I am a virgin only to have her dump me because I must be so undesirable that nobody has ever slept with me. That would destroy my confidence much more than a less then amazing experience with an escort.

Again, thanks for all the help everyone. I really do appreciate it everyone's input and contributions.

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LameTiger1433 reads

Its a shame this thread went so far askew.  There's almost 50 posts in here and only a handful actually try to help this guy.  Such is the forum life I guess.  I will say that I can completely identify with what you went through.  While not religiously strict my parents made sure that everything was prime and proper.  As is the case with most parents like this, they raise their kids this way to mask their own insecurities, when all they really do is pass them on to you.  Of course they have no sympathy for you when you end up a 31 year old virgin.  
  Sounds like you are doing your homework and that is monumental in streamlining your satisfaction.  The risk of LE is reduced drastically too.  All you really have to worry about with an experienced provider is nosy neighbors or hotel security out to make a name for themselves. If its incall an experienced provider will usually keep an eye out.  If its outcall tell her to dress down that will deflect suspicion.  Some will like to even meet you before in the lobby or the hotel bar.   If its something you are really scared about go with a provider from a reputable agency.  Seeing as you are on the East coast there are plenty of good ones.  You'll hear about the horror stories every once in a while about cops infiltrating an agency, or turing a girl outside of one.  But if the cops are putting in the effort to recruit a young female officer to go undercover to do this, they have their sights set on taking down the agency not the clients.   Good luck and choose wisely my friend.
 As far as other posters here.  He doesn't sound naive.  He's isn't trying to fix anything other than his lack of sex.  "The first time should be special."  That applies to people who have mastered the maze of social connection.  Those like me and the OP who sadly have not have to do things the hard way.  Those who are imbued with the graceful speaking of mere words in the presence of the  opposite sex are truly blessed.  A blessing that is not bestowed on everyone just because society says this is what a man has to be.

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BeyondAllHope1792 reads

Not sure if anyone here is even still checking this thread but I still want to send out my sincere gratitude to everyone who has given their input, I didn't expect to get anywhere near this much assistance. Just want to respond to a few things as well. I would have done so sooner but I had a site launch at 11 AM today and everything had to be wrapped up yesterday.

Posted By: LameTiger
As far as other posters here.  He doesn't sound naive.  He's isn't trying to fix anything other than his lack of sex.  "The first time should be special."  That applies to people who have mastered the maze of social connection.  Those like me and the OP who sadly have not have to do things the hard way.  Those who are imbued with the graceful speaking of mere words in the presence of the  opposite sex are truly blessed.  A blessing that is not bestowed on everyone just because society says this is what a man has to be.
Thank you, this is basically my mindset at this point. I would love my first time to with someone who I care about and vice versa but if I hold out for that then time will just keep passing like it has and it may never come. A great experience with a provider is all I can really ask for at this point and if everything goes relatively well it would be greedy to expect more from my current position.
Posted By: crazyshit
But I will warn you.  If you lose your virginity to her, it's like having your first sushi experience be like going to Masa in the Time Warner Center.  Or your first driving experience being behind a Formula One racecar.
Heh, after checking out her site she is certainly quite stunning and I am not too far from the NY area =). Maybe I will have to look into this possibility providing she would be comfortable with it. Perhaps I will contact her after I sign up to the screening site. Also maybe it would be best to throw myself into the deep end on this one occasion and go all out even though it may set an unattainable standard for every experience I have from there on out, lol.
Posted By: ddp71

I believe, like it appears you do as well, that a few years from now, the OP will realize this was all to do about nothing. It's just sex. I honestly don't believe guys look back at their first time like a scene from some sappy movie. For fear of sounding like a mangina, yes, sex with feelings is definitely better then sex with a stranger ... but that ain't bad either. After the OP has been with a few different ladies, loved and lost, and basically just gained more life experience ... he will probably realize the first time was really just the first of many.
I pray this is the case. I just don't want to look back even further down the line and still feel they way I do now and regret not taking action earlier. Because even now at 25 I look back at the last 6 or so years and regret not trying to address these issues sooner or before its ultimately too late.
Posted By: USUfan
I actually think this guy has his head on straight.  Like all of us, he has his issues, or is London issue free? :-)  I actually envy this guy. He's younger than me and due to his line of work, he also probably has a heck of a lot more money to spend, and because of that, he could have some sessions with some first class providers.
Envying me may be going a bit too far. I may be younger but I don't really feel young, I feel like time is running out and I will never be normal. Oddly enough I don't feel very old either though, I feel more like I'm in some purgatory between adolescent and adult. Maybe because I never had the opportunity to go through normal parts of growing up and the mistakes and lessons that come along with it. When I see young teenage couples walking around I feel like they have passed some barrier in terms of understanding and relating to others and being a real adult that I have not.

Also, the money I have saved up is a direct result of my loneliness. Besides what I need to comfortably support myself I would trade all of the excess for the normalcy that others have. Instead of envying me, look at me and my situation and use it to feel better about your own. I have nobody, I'm alone in every sense of the word. I had to get away from my toxic family and I chose to do so, but now I also have no family. If not for the means to support myself I would have absolutely nothing.
Posted By: Zangari
I've read the OP's first post three times now, and there's a lot of pain there.  I don't envy what he's gone through.  I'm glad he's dealing with these issues openly & honestly.   And he's still young--it's a very positive sign that he's addressing these issues at age 25 rather than at age 45.
I appreciate your optimism, I just hope I can overcome some of these issues this year and not keep letting time pass me by due to my fears.
Posted By: OhCharlie
Sex doesn't fix everything, and we are most certainly not in the business of trying to fuck someone's troubles away. That doesn't happen. Can sexual experience help build ones confidence? Sure. But it is not the end all and be all that you're trying to make it out to be.
I understand this completely. I would never expect to or be selfish enough to assume that any provider I go to must bear the burden of my issues. I know full well I am not paying for a therapy session. Even if the experience is absolutely amazing and couldn't go better I do not expect it to fix everything, or realistically even anything. Hell, I'm sure there is a very real possibility it could make things worse for me. But I have to take that chance, my indecision and fear has gotten me to where I am now. I just hope it will put sex into a more realistic perspective for myself. Even if it doesn't give me one iota of confidence I hope it will just take the edge off and ease my curiosity. Make no mistake about it, I can very well distinguish the difference between just being horny and being lonely. I understand that I am both and a provider will only temporarily alleviate the former issue. But if it even brings me an inch closer to helping myself solve the loneliness then it will be worth everything to me.

Thanks for all the help again everyone, I have a lot of thinking to do but basically every uncertainty I could possibly have was addressed and just knowing a little bit more of what to expect is invaluable.

-- Modified on 7/23/2012 9:05:55 PM

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