I have only known one (In fact, still know her though she is officially retired.)

 
Her turn-ons were being tied up and violated in any number of ways including water sports and COF.

 
Of course, this  can and will vary with the gal in question.

I am not really into things like restraint or Impact stuff... But id love to explore things like Face fucking cock worship and role play.  
Do those fit into the submissive / kinky territory ?

You have a couple of NYC reviews. Check out http://theartofsubmission.com/ which is in NYC and has some Primer pages, "Featured Lesson," and other info about subs, doms, kinks, etiquette, etc..
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There are other TAoS-like places in SF and other cities. Post to your preferred regional board and ask for local "Art of Submission"-like places.  
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In NYC, The Art of Submission has a sister site call The Art of Domination (and that shares the same dungeon space).
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Some related discussions:
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/new-york-2/the-art-of-submission-263108
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/new-york-2/to-some-its-the-art-of-submission-246749
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/new-york-2/the-art-of-submission-257771
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/new-york-2/re-two-suggestions-257777
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/new-york-2/the-art-of-submission-and--259354
etc.