Some facts:

Me:

Early 40s
Been with/was with SO for over 20 years
SO is only full service experience I've ever had

Now:
Would like to expand horizons
Would like to meet nice lady for FS experience ...

Oh, dammit, this reads like a stupid classified ad.

Bottom line is, I think I'm ready to jump into the deep end of the hobby pool. But I don't really know how to begin.

I mean, I can look at the ads and read the reviews. I'm attracted to plenty of the ladies on TER.

But I'm a little nervous because even though I'm (basically) middle aged, I'm pretty much inexperienced. I need someone who can take charge a bit, because I'm going to be nervous.

So, I guess my question is, how do I get some of this out in advance, so that the provider knows where I'm comng from and is comfortable with where I'm coming from? I'd prefer to be with someone who goes, "Cool, this can be a good experience for both of us" not "Fine, fine, whatever ..."

I'm not sure I want to put my life story in an initial email and I'm not sure when or if this sort of personal information becomes appropriate. Maybe I don't ever need to discuss anything, maybe it's not important, I don't know.

If it matters at all, I'm in Los Angeles. Not sure why it would matter, but there you go.

First off, get VIP membership so you have access to TER Personal Message email. You may get a provider who reads this post and wants to reach out to you to set up a meeting. Of course, she can alway just post a reply but she may be more comfortable in a less public manner

Seems like this is an important (and valid) concern for you.  So it is probably going to be an "issue" in the back of your mind whether or not you tell the lady.  So I vote that you contact a few of the TER ladies you find attractive (email or phone) and just briefly explain your situation and what you hope to achieve. Be discreet and polite, and do not use any sexual terms. You do not need to share a life story, just enough to give them an idea of your situation. Trust me, they have heard all of this and more and will not be shocked, but will probably appreciate your honesty.  Then you can make a reasonable decision based on how they respond to your initial contact.  I think you will find that this will work out well for you.

And I have found, letting the lady take the lead can be a VERY good strategy. I have not been disappointed.

-- Modified on 4/29/2006 5:54:34 AM

I can feel your fear.  I just took my first plunge into the hobby today. I was researching for about 3 months befoer I acted.  I'm glad I did. All I can say is get the VIP.  Read the reviews of the ladies that you find attractive. The VIP section will inform you well.  If I hadn't gotten the VIP, the girl I was going to pick was one of those lay there/do nothing kind.  I have that at home  The lady I found was wonderful and very understanding.  I would suggest reading through the FAQ forum and find out the do's and don'ts of what to say when you call.  You can tell them you have never used an escort before and are nervous, but you don't want to say the wrong things. If you ask the wrong thing, they are likely to hanb up.

Up to the last second before I walked into that room, every possible thing that could go wrong was going through my head.  Once she opened the door and we talked, I was OK.  You and I are almost the same situtation.  

Remember the key is READ the REVIEWS, and you can always ask anyone on the forums.  Good Luck.

I would add that you go with a 'mature' (over 30 at least) for your first time.  It's akward enough the firs time w/o complicating it with a woman young enough to be your daughter (sorry about the imagery there)

You are, where I was, six weeks ago. Pick someone close to your own age and be open and honest. It worked for me, she even coached me a bit for future hobbying and provides references. On top of that, she's pretty hot for a 40something and makes me feel like I finally got the  cheerleader from highschool. I've seen her since the first date and I'll see her again.......but there will be others in between. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I sure am loving it!

Was there a couple months ago and now hooked.
Relax....
-use vip review and search criteria, no rush
-probably better off with a WELL reviewed independent(vs agency) around 30yr but choose body looks type you desire. Younger is a ton of fun(when well reviewed) but as other posts...you may feel more comfortable with a little older
-do not talk $'s, or get graphic on phone or email and you will be viewed as LE.  There is enough time to explain whatever you feel you want to explain when you get to appointment.
-do incall, have correct cash in envelope...Do not talk $'s!!, put envelope where clearly visable
-be nice, be clean-fresh breath,!!!
-No worries, be happy, bring your hardon, have a blast......butterflys do leave!

Don't know about anyone else out there. i can only speak for myself, that's the type of stuff i like to know before seeing someone for the first time.  I don't have a crystal ball nor read minds.  when a gentleman provides info like that it helps me make the experience what he in fact was searching for instead of leaving it to chance... and the possibility of it being a disaster...

... go back!

Just teasing you.

One guarantee, you WILL enjoy yourself.  The only downside is you can become addicted to "the Hobby".   Some problem, eh?

About 1 1/2 years ago, I was in your position, only with SO from the beginning, more than your 20 years.  Happened to be travelling alone in another country and after alot of research visited a provider there.  BTW, never really knew much about the hobby and never imagined (blushing) it was as active in the US.  Went a bit "wild" while away, saw a number of providers, independent and agencies then came back to earth when I arrived home.  Happened to discover TER, became a VIP member, did the reseach and have met a large number of really nice individuals, young and mature since.

For your first visit, I would recommend a more mature, experienced provider, probably Independent who would probably be less rushed.  You will be nervous, but I can almost guarantee you you will enjoy yourself and ask why you didn't start earlier.  Finally, if at first you don't succeed, keep trying, your 1st isn't the only pebble on the beach.

Also, during your research, read the VIP section of the review and in the upper right corner there is a send mail tab.  Use it to backchannel and ask a question of the reviewer, we will all be glad to offer opinions, advice, encouragement, great stories and recommendations of our ATF's.

Report back ASAP!  ;~)    

-- Modified on 4/29/2006 1:19:46 PM

-- Modified on 4/29/2006 1:26:35 PM

Nobody seems to have jumped on this, and I'm kinda pissy today, so here goes... self confessed newbie that doesn't know jack-sh*t has figured out how to master the creation of an aptly named alias.  Something smells fishy, and I don't think its pussy.

. . . choose someone who has reviews similar to mine.  Seriously, my reviews often state that I'm genuine, intimate and offer a true girlfriend experience.  Upon meeting tell her what you posted here and it will be fine.

Good luck  

well you want the most comfortable way to do this, and I think Outcall to your upscale hotel is easiest; incalls you have to worry more about (once in a rare while they get busted, and you have to worry about finding it and dealing with the person who answers the phone).  So pick a hotel and have them come to your hotel.  Pick someone who has been at it a while and has a lot of (>10) consistently good reviews (don't pick the ones who get a 2-4 every now and then).  Someone in their mid to late 20s is usually more mature and better than someone who is late teen or early 20s.  Pick an independent or a really good agency which will give you the correct person (many agencies switch people, so best to go with an independent).  When you see an independent there is only one person, the only thing you have to worry about is if the pics are accurate (many times they aren't).  That's where the reviews score on looks is important.  Also call them before and talk, if they say 'hun' a lot and you don't like it then pick another.  You can email them, and sometimes they will chat with you.  I have been enticed and turned off by emails or phone conversations.  Nothing sexier than a really good email and a cute facial pic on her website.