I made an appointment with a hot provider on Sunday, she screened me and ok'd with a 5pm get together. 1.5 hr before the meeting, she emailed me that she had a "personal emergency" and had to cancel. She offered to make it up the next day. We then agreed to meet at 6pm on Monday.
After a long night, I arrived to her apartment complex and called her for apartment number. No one answered the phone. One minute later, got a text message from her saying she could not get off work and I needed to wait till 6:30pm. No problem, I said to myself. Then 10 minutes later, another text message saying she would be stuck for a while and would not make it. Sorry.
So, what's up with this provider? I'm new to this hobby and don't know all their tricks (or treats). I never did anything bad to her so I don't think she did all these on purpose. But my question is: should I move on to another provider or should I forgive her and try again.
BTW, I still haven't gotten any phone call or email from her after the two text messages. She doesn't seem care about my feelings, does she?

At least she let you know Most of the time they don't call They just don't show up
She doesn't seem care about my feelings, does she? She hasn't met you Why should she care about your feelings? If you are looking to make friends or God forbid find a girl friend you are in the wrong place. It's all about the money.
 

As Hook said, at least she let you know.  

All of us have been in your shoes one time or another.  You should post her name and part (or all) of the phone number on your local board so other hobbyists will know of your experience.

Your call as to whether you move on or give her a third strike, I mean chance to make it right.

Has happened to me several times.  I'm willing to bet it has happened to the providers a lot more times than that, and they usually have incall expenses invested in the deal.

I've always kept trying, and have always eventually hooked up.  Some advice:  Don't mention it to the provider.  She probably doesn't remember anyway, and your session will suffer for it.

And no, she doesn't care about your feelings.  For crying out loud, she hasn't even met you yet!  I have had a couple "friendships" develop with providers after several dates and many emails.  But that's just a side benefit that's great if it happens.  Don't expect it though.

I don't know how far you had to drive to get to her place,but would outcall to your place be an option?That way,at least you won't waste your gas to see her if she cancels again.

I would probably give her one more chance if it was me.I actually think that she was on the up & up with you.I don't think that she would've called you twice before cancelling if she was just trying to get out of the appt.She probably would've just cancelled the appt.on the first phone call to you.As others have stated,be glad that she didn't just leave you sitting out there guessing.She probably hasn't called or emailed you because she's figuring you're looking to go elsewhere now.Also,most providers don't usually keep your email address or phone number unless you've become a regular client of theirs.Call or email her again.Who knows? She may make your appt.a priority since she's already cancelled twice on you.I definitely would call her an hour before your appt.to make sure that everything is still on before driving out to see her though.However,if she cancels again,move on to someone else.In my book,three strikes and you're out!

As wonderful as most providers can be, we can never forget that they are women (thank God!)  Some women  can be either flakey or seem scatter brained at times.  I have an ATF that I see on a regular bases usually twice or three times a month.  Every now and then I have tried to contact her and it may be a week before she calls me back.  Of course when she calls back she doesn't recall or acts like she recalls my previous call or message. Don't get me wrong, I think women are the most beautiful and complex creatures on earth but they sure can drive a man crazy!  Sometimes I wonder if they do it on purpose.

Newbie here also ..... got stood up Monday after driving an hour and a half ...each way .... no phone call.  I called her today ... car trouble...  has 10 pages of GREAT reviews... at least yours called lmao..... give her another try ...I am.

these guys are right. She is probably very shy and likes you a lot and keeps getting cold feet. Keep trying because this could be the one for you.

Except for the outcall suggestion, pussyliker's words are on the money.

ladies in your wallet. If you get stood up by your first choice try your second....and so on.

Wake up, she (they) do not care about you.  Run, dont walk, to the next provider!  It is all about the $$$ and DO NOT FORGET THAT! I used to consider myself a nice guy and tried to treat the lady with the upmost amount of respect.  I drove 1 and a half hours once to a no-show.  She eventually replied via email with reason, but not really an apology.  I set up a session once with an agency and called back after 4 like I supposed to just to get recordings.  I just got blown off twice in 1 week by someone I have seen many times! I had arranged a 2 hr date and had taken a vacation day.  The end of last week, I emailed to confirm.  It was sunday night before I got a response. Too late to cancel my vacation day, so not only did I misss out on her company, I lost a vacation day. "Reschedule for friday?" she asks.  OK, I said and made arrangements for a long lunch time, just to get an email tonight.  "Oops, I have to do something tomorrow, sorry."  Now I have a 2 hours for lunch and will be working late for nothing.

While I recognise they get stand ups all the time.  BUT THEY ARE THE PROFESSIONALS and it is a fact of their business.  If they dont like the facts of their job, I think Wal*Mart is hiring. I am a client.  I have to arrange my time, without drawing the attention of a "Godzilla" of a wife or nosey coworkers.  I will take my $$$ where I get great service.  If my favorite "resturant" is closed or full, I go elsewhere....

And not look back.  Because, in the end, they do not care that you are not there...

At least you got that far. I am having a very VERY hard time even setting up appointments. Little did I know how hard it is to get an appointment and actually have it come to pass? Makes me think I will have much better luck in the real world than here.

I do my research, and only reply to ladies with some of the best reviews (most are independent) and unfortunately most just take emails, some take phone calls but their voicemails are sometimes full. But damn if the last six providers I replied to either didn't return my message, or stated they could see me and then not reply to me again to confirm or ask for more information.

Some people on here say they just want the money but not from my experience. I wonder if providers just keep a few clients (like five or so) that keep coming back for more and then ignore the rest of us.

What happens more often? Getting a provider to actually approve you and make an appointment or buying something on eBay and getting it as described?

For me the eBay thing sounds truer than this world at the moment. I am very frustrated and just need to vent a little.

Also I would rather make an appointment with an independent provider than with an agency but the information they ask for gets to me a little. I am self employed so I guess it is a lot harder being in my shoes than a regular Joe with a company job.

I'm not, but let's just say I was an established provider with plenty of good reviews. You're somebody who I don't know if you're going to live up to your end of the bargain or not. Why should I go out of my way to make time for you when I have a steady clientele whom I can give priority treatment to where I know I'll be safe and properly compensated? You may be a great guy but why take the chance when I can be paid just as well by a known quantity?

I can understand why the ladies most in demand are often the hardest to reach and the hardest to get/keep an appointment.

All I ask is that if I make clear I am sacrificing time and money to be with them that they let me know at the soonest possible moment if they can't make it.

Soon, I plan to fly out of state to meet a provider. We've talked by phone and exchanged e-mails and there are good vibes all around. But, emergencies do happen and there's always the possibility one of us can't make it. You do the best you can with the situation and move on.

I know what it's like to get stood up and, emotionally, it is not easy for me to take. But exacting some sort of revenge never helps the situation so what can you do? You either swallow your ego and try again or you give up and move on. Either way may be the right way to go, it's just a personal choice everyone in that situation must make. Trusting total strangers is never easy.

Ladies and men both ought to be more considerate when they've inconvenienced somebody but we all know the world doesn't always work that way. The best suggestion is to get the reputation for being such a good client that you'll become the priority when she has to make a choice.

Yes but if you are never given the chance to do what you described above you can't really create a reputation. Just frustration after frustration.

If what you said is true wouldn't it make sense for the provider to post on their website 'I only take appointments from current clients' and to not post ads anymore? Just give the current clients the web address and leave it at that. Why have "strange" men calling or emailing if they don't want to see people they are not comfortable with?

There are some good advice posted, really appreciate everyone's time.
I particular like yours when you hit the nail on the head in describing that provider. She's fairly established and must have a large client base and couldn't care less about an unknown new client. But then, shouldn't an established provider be more professional in comforting a potentially good client for having missed the appointment twice. "Sorry" was her only word. Never said things like "I'll make it up for you and give you priority next time ...", etc.
She's now on a tour and she may not even remember me after she gets back. I'm still 50-50 on this.
Regarding your last paragraph, I have the greatest suspicion that when she said she had a "personal emergency" on Sunday, I was actually got bumped because she had a last minute request from an established client.
Getting rejected by a paid professional is indeed hard to swallow. And I had it twice.

nameivom20, if your not having any luck with an Indie why not try an agency?  Most indies require the reference of at least one other provider if not three.  That may be why they are not calling you back.  When I started in this hobby I had no references either.  So I saw a few agency girls first and now I have little or no problem seeing an indie lady.  

Don't give up yet!

Getting bumped for an established client does happen with some ladies.I know because I've been on the other end of that deal where I was the established client of a lady I saw once a week for 14 months straight.I'm not saying that it was a nice thing for her to do but I always got top priority on "my day" as it were.She'd try to accomodate everybody,but her theory was that if someone was going to get bumped,it wasn't going to be me since I'd been with her for so long.

If you happen to someday get into the same situation that I had with her,you may get top priority too! However,every woman is different,so there are no guarantees.And don't sweat being rejected by a provider.It's happened to most of us at one time or another for whatever reason.There's entirely too much hot pu$$y out there to allow yourself to be overly concerned with just this one.BTW,the provider that I descibed earlier in this post......twice rejected me before I finally got to see her! Give it one more shot! It sounds like you really want to see her so give her the benefit of the doubt!

2nd2nun, I won't give up, I was just a little frustrated. The thing with agencies is I don't want to get caught in a bait and switch or pay a lot more money than what is posted on their site. I have heard too many stories of this type of practice to really jump into that area of the business.

pussyliker, thanks for confirming that these things happen. While we're on this bumping subject, I'm curious to know if a provider would bump a client if she received a bigger offer, like a dinner date. Would like to hear from providers' point of view.

And you can be certain that same provider will be very unforgiving of those who do it to her.

I can certainly understand having to cancel an appointment, none of us would put up with this type of BS in our regular lives, business or otherwise.  There are a lot of professional providers out there who handle their obligations 95%+ of the time and act appropriately in dealing with unexpected emergencies that come up.
This particular provider did not.  After cancelling on the first time and rescheduling, she should have made a special effort to be there the second time instead of having him wait around and text messaging him.
She's a total waste of time and you should move on.

We’re talking about individual entrepreneurs who make bookoo bucks from their intimate treatment of men. Letting them shit all over you multiple times by their unprofessional/inconsiderate flaking on you makes you all look like a bunch of high school geeks desperately trying to get a date with the narcissistic homecoming queen.

MAN-UP fer' Chrisakes and stop making sycophantic excuses for their totally unprofessional behavior.

bitch obviously can't adhere to a schedule, and giving it another chance is likely a waste of time.  Furthermore, she doesn't DESERVE another chance.  The hell with her.

-- Modified on 7/22/2006 12:51:19 PM

There are plenty of other ladies out there.  Do your research and ask for feedback!

Happy hunting.

No,I doubt very much that any reputable provider would "bigger,better deal" any client that already booked any appt.with her.Word would get out eventually and she'd be finished in the business.

I personally could care less one way or the other whether he gives her another chance or not! I'm just giving him an opinion on why she MAY have reacted the way she did! Maybe I'm wrong and she is being totally unprofessional about the whole thing....I don't care! However,when someone asks a particular question on these boards that I feel I can relate to,I answer them as best as I know how to as opposed to the "Man-up,move on" tough guy post that you put up! If that's the way you feel then fine,I can respect that and can maybe even see your point! You have your opinion,and others have their's! However,to degrade anybody else's opinion is how do you say.......downright PATHETIC!!!

Hey TTB, I think you're displaying exactly the wrong attitude.  Yes, there are those ladies in demand and of course they should do what's best for their own self-interests.
SO  SHOULD WE!  They have the goods, we have the cash.  That makes us co-equals.  Don't be a weuss (how the hell do you spell that word anyway?) and let a provider treat you as less than equal.  Would you let another do that to you in a biz situation or some other personal affair?  
I'm all for second chances.  None of us would be where we are w/o them.  But burn me twice in a row, I don't you anymore and I move on ... in my hobbying life and the rest of my life.  Too many other fish in the sea to waste time on a rotten one.

nameivom20, not all agencies are bad. I don't know were you are, but down here in south Florida not all agencies are bad.  I will admit all cities have bad agencies but all agencies can't be bad.  The ones I have used have been very good and the quality of the ladies have benn outstanding.  You might try what I did and do some homework on your local board to find a reliable agency with the lady of your choice!

Good Luck

My initial reaction to reading his post was to move on and not think twice but I was also reflecting on reasons why this could have happened that make sense to me.

As for other business dealings, they aren't exactly the same as this. 1) What I do in my business is not illegal so I have legal options if wronged. 2) Unless you are dealing with an agency, your business partner in the deal is *one woman* with all the potential instabiliity and arbitrariness of the gender built in. Maybe she cancels just because she "doesn't feel like it". Perhaps, on reflection, missed sex is better than bad sex and he should be grateful she didn't show up if she wasn't feeling her best. Who knows?

For a newbie, "two-strikes-and-you're-out" is probably a good policy but it is only a policy. When you're dealing with real people, allowances are sometimes made. Perhaps the real issue is how he would feel if he were stood up a third time. Humiliated? Revengeful? If he can't handle his reaction to such an occasion, he's probably best to walk away and find someone else.

I perhaps erred with the candor in my veracity being this a Newbie board; but I made no personal attack on any one individual.

-- Modified on 7/23/2006 2:51:20 PM

Thanks for your many contributions, FR.  Time for an update to your 'Newbie Primer'?