Hi everyone,

I really want to start hobbying but for awhile I think something was wrong with me.  Well, first, I'm still a virgin and dated once.  I realize what I crave the most is an emotional connection.  For whatever reason, its my biggest turn on.

Without it.....  I dunno why but without an emotional connection, or something, I loose interest almost immediately.  I'm still interested but not by much?  What should I do to go past this barrier and start hobbying?  I don't care if the connetion is just for that one session.  I don't want to schedule a session and not feel that connection?  

Regardless, I want to start hobbying by June latest.

be careful.  This is not Match.com.  Providers are not looking for emotional relationships, it's a business.  As long as you respect the boundaries, it's ok to develop feelings for the ladies.  While you may feel an emotional connection, you can't expect her to feel the same.  Not that it doesn't happen, but it's not what she is after.  Remember, many providers have an SO in the background that you will probably never know about.

Swim

swim is correct..if you want emotional connections..try match.com..the ladies there want exactly that..providers want the exact opposite..one of there biggest fears are clingers and worse..stalkers..it is fine to have feelings for our ladies..we all do..the physical connection makes you feel good..the emotional connection should be fleeting..if it becomes more than that..it can only have disastrous results..like swim says..be very careful about where your emotions lead you..

lady I've been with.  It's a normal hormonal thing.  The ladies can feel something too...  but they are careful to keep it in check as must we.  This is what GFE is about.  Remember she is your GF only from the welcoming kiss until the door closes between you.
Incidentally, these feelings can be very strong and serial meetings with the same gal can be overwhelming.  I have chosen to rotate among a small group of "Favorite" ladies...  I fall for them anew each time, until the next one.  
You'll be fine.  Just remember your boundaries.  If you "fall for" a provider & violate her limits, she'll refuse additional meetings with you.  If you use the "L" word (L O V E) she's probably refuse to see you.  You don't love HER, you love what she DOES!  
But there is a connection, with each of my Favs...  
H

You said "I  don't care if the connection is just for that one session"...humm not sure... Let's say  if by chance you get that connection with a provider, will you leash your emotions just for that session??? You know how to do it?
Plus you said you are a virgin and dated once...( no offense we've all been there ) will you be strong enough not to transfer your expectation on the first provider good at GFE you meet? ( they are really good at faking ...it's their job )

You said:" but without an emotional connection, or something, I loose interest almost immediately.  I'm still interested but not by much?"

For a fuck sake you are young, you should have erections every 5 minutes of course you are interested dummy!


My friendly advice,  if you have the cash, unleash your dick, go try as many as you can, learn,  know yourself, leash your emotions tight for a while and then go to the civilian life and get a real girl friend...or go directly to match.com and spend hundreds without getting laid...

May sound harsh... But as Macdaddy said, it can be disastrous ... been there once... emotions are now jailed...

Do not intellectualize sex, it's just sex...

and have done so for the 35+ years I've been hobbying.

You won't always get it, but I've gotten that connection enough times to know that I really enjoy it.

Follow the advice that is given here and keep your eyes open.  Don't let yourself fall prey to the suggestion that you are the one and only for her.  Instead look at her as a temporary friend and lover.  You'll do well in that case.

If by emotional connection, you mean that you and her get along, make each other laugh, like to converse, can open up here and there with each other and both genuinely look forward to seeing each other again, then yes, it's totally possible. In fact, providers such as yours truly want all of our time spent with hobbyists to look exactly like that!

But, if "emotional connection" means that you are looking for love, or someone to be mostly a girlfriend for you, then you're going to be disappointed. While there is of course an emotional level to all of this, it still is a business. So just make sure that you find what you are looking for in this hobby without letting the emotions completely take over.

I Love your name Margo
 Margot = Margaret of France
 (French: Marguerite de France was Queen of France and of Navarre during the late sixteenth century)
Her life has inspired a variety of stories over the centuries, beginning with Shakespeare's early comedy Love's Labour's Lost written during her lifetime, to Alexandre Dumas, père's 1845 novel La Reine Margot; to a 1994 movie La Reine Margot.

You definitely have the beauty of a Queen.

Thanks for the replies.

I think I develop some kind of wierd anxiety which is what I want to get rid of.  This is probably irrelevant but a former friend told me she wanted me for the night but...  Anyway, I felt a lot of anxiety and I just couldn't do it.  Even though I wanted to.  Also we didn't have any time really like 15mins. on a well lit street in my cramp car.  

Mostly, I pulled away because I was afraid I would be using her if I didn't have the same feelings for her as she said she did for me.  In hindsight, it was silly of me because she was trying to use me for the same thing.

Also i didn't feel that connection.  When I thought about it later on, I did have feeling for her but it meant nothign to her.  She just lied about having feelings just to make me "feel comfortable"? and dated some other guy the next day.

That bothered and hurt me a lot, so I know I cannot let myself get too attached.  I know I have to separate my emotions but at the same time, I need to feel that connection or it's just going to get arkward...  Also, I got stood up a few times and I think that did something to me, like a mental block?

I just want to make that connection, that's really important to me.  But...  how can I do that?  Like find out if there is a connection before the actual incall?  Should i just book it and hope for the best?

If you need emotional connections you are at the wrong church. Sorry to pop the bubble dude but you will not find that here. What you will find are some amazing people with amazing skills and out of that you might develop something more than a P4P relationship. However if you are truly set on establishing an emotional bond with providers you will be wasting everyone's time. Just try it out but don't be a pain in the Lady's ass unless of course she offers trips to the Isles and you pay for it.

Just an Old, Ugly, Fat Fuck with an opinion

Well....  What bothered me was a few things:
-I didn't know if I had the same feelings for her.  I felt kind of bad morally.  In hindsight stupid.
But it all went downhill she saw someone else, I think she still liked me when I saw her again.  But, I was insulted that she saw someone the next day.  I guess it's silly, but... c'mon friends for years and after saying all those things date some other guy the day after?    
-I didn't feel as connected to her that....  connection wasn't there.  And with out it I lost interest.  
-This anxiety feeling....  I dunno how to explain that.

I guess what I need is that chemistry kind of feeling.  The one that makes you want to pin her down like crazy.  That feeling.  I think once this anxiety or whatever it is passes I'll try being in a relationship.  

Right now I think I just want to get rid of this anxiety thing.