I'm relatively new to TER, and wanted to share an experience for newbies.  I chalk this up to my relative newness.  This is partly just a mea culpa to anyone out there.

I had a provider who pointed me in the direction of TER, and saw what a great resource it is.  The online chat, in particular was a lure, but I also attended a recent M+G in my area.   Everyone I've been in contact with has been very kind, but I'm still struggling to understand the proper etiquette and attribute this to my own shortcomings and naivete.

One lady I met in the online chat was kind and looking for suggestions on what do to on a local visit to my town.   I naively suggested I could show her a local site or too, but had not really looked upon it as an implied commitment for an appointment.  We IM'ed separately for quite some time.   I was also rather busy and lost track of the original contact with the person (provider).  

I very much enjoyed the chat on IM.   A moment hit me when I remembered and realized that because we had met via TER there was an implied commitment on my part.   I had to work to find her website, as it wasn't immediately obvious how to find it, although TER did help.   At some moment, I realized that our discussion implied something of a king's ransom of funds that I simply did not have in exchange for time together.

I wrote to her, quite ashamed of the fact that I had my wires crossed.   She was rather graceful about it, although I have to say that I feel bad about the episode.

In the past, with providers, I contacted them saying "I would like to make an appointment" and then we figure out how long, and it's pretty clear.   This was a bit more difficult, in that it began with a naive offer of what I thought was kindness on my part, but was interpreted as an "I would like to make an appointment" nonetheless.  

So, my advice would be to be careful - and realize that any offer to meet with someone new to town is, indeed, an implied commitment on your part.

I recently had the good luck to win a raffle, and I have a 61 year old friend who is going through a difficult divorce and has basically no money. I'm taking the money from my good fortune and giving it to my friend, in order that she can pay her rent (she would otherwise be evicted). (nothing is expected back from my friend, by the way....this is just to help someone out)  I'm looking at the help for my friend as a way of "making it up" to the universe for any transgression on my part.  

So, a confession, a lesson learned, and perhaps this can help others avoid this pitfall.

I doubt that any lady would be seriously offended that you didn't follow through with the date.  Some are definitely in chat as a marketing move, but it doesn't eliminate the need to schedule and screen.  Without those items, it's just flirting.  At least, that's how I see it.

through, but I will say that when someone takes the time to email when they cancel I am thrilled.

You had NO commitment, NO appointment, not very much of anything really.

I can't figure out why you are worked up over it. Just stick around awhile you'll be treated a lot worse than that.

And don't let give the idea that it's only the ladies, I have heard enough horror stories about things guys have done.

What you did doesn't even get to the level of rude.

You should go back through the old posts here you'll feel much better about yourself.