Dear old pros:

I have some questions -

Do you guys ever worry about security when you meet someone for an incall - say in her home? I mean like neighbors or LE taking license plate numbers? That type of thing.

I made a date with a well rated TER provider - I drove about 45 minutes to meet her - after confirming appt. before hand - when I arrived at her gate - she told me sorry can't do it - with no further explamation - I dialed her again - she would not pick up is this king of crap normal?

There are two main reasons this could happen:

1.  You did something to spook her.  Think hard about everything you said or wrote to her.  Something maybe went wrong.

Did she see your car?  Do you drive a Ford Crown Vic?  Things like that sometimes set a gal off.

2.  Something came up for her right away.  It could have been some kind of family emergency or similar situation.  You'll never know.

In any case, shrug it off and her too.  Go on to the next date.

If you follow procedures, you'll do fine.

The only time I went to someone's home it was in Manhattan. I don't think I'd do it in a suburban type setting.

Most likely a case of "sh*t happens."  Providers are real people with a life outside of the biz too.  Something probably came up at the last minute with a family member.

You didn't say but did you confirm earlier that day before making the 45 minute drive?

Frankly, if she knew you were on your way & she had your number, she should have called you back, if possible.  A lot of Ifs in there.

My guess is "Life Happened".  My guess is it was nothing you did since you were good to go when you started your trip.  
Unless something you said when you made the second call upset her, I can not imagine anything else.

If you have e-mail contact, I might send a super polite note just to say "how disappointed you were."  Otherwise, just move on.  
skb

Along with 1. from Mrfisher... think about everything you said.  Some girls are very easily spooked by random things if they've never met you before.  I feel like I know what is OK to say and how to talk to them, and I've still spooked a few myself.  It sucks, when it happens but it happens.  It seems best to offer no details unless she requests them, and generally say the least amount of words possible over the phone.  Just give and recieve the bare essential details and hang up.