Hey all, so I’m writing this post hoping to get some advice. So I am a newbie both in the hobby and out of the hobby (if you know what I mean), and I was wondering if I should try and go through a provider for my first time? At this point in my life I feel the urge to take the plunge and I believe having my first time be with someone experienced would be nice. Let me know what y’all think and how I should go about doing it.
Thank you P.s. I am 24 years oldIf you're thinking a pro can teach you a lot about how things work between men and women sexually (and perhaps to some extent emotionally) because you are very shy and lack confidence to start a relationship in real life it might work well. Be careful in your selection. The thing you probably need to be careful with is your own emotions - don't fall in love just because you get comfortable having sex with a woman.
P411 might be a good tool to start as you can find providers that are "newbie" friendly and accept under 30 clients. The check TER for reviews.
I do have a couple of quick questions that might be helpful for us to give you advice.
Are you a virgin by choice? IOW have you been holding back from having sex or are you just "not really good" with women and haven't had the opportunity to have sex yet?
Are you looking for this to be a "one time experience" kind of a stepping stone to feeling more confident around civvie girls, or are you thinking that the hobby might be an alternative to "normal" dating.
Do you tend to be attracted to women your own age, or are you equally attracted to older women?
If you got "caught" doing this would it negatively impact your life?
and lastly, How did you find TER, and have you been lurking here for a while before making this first post?
feedback he gets will be more specific and useful. I stopped by here earlier when the only responsive post was Jensen's, but I didn't want to speculate what his motivation or situation might be, so I skipped this thread. Thanks for not being as lazy as me. Lol
1) I guess more in the lane of “haven’t had the opportunity yet”
2) I do think the hobby could help with civil life, but I also don’t see this activity as taboo as others might. I do think I would consider the hobby in the future based on certain circumstances
3) I would say I’m more attracted to older ones, even mature. And I do think they might be more acceptable to my situation
4) other than legally I do not think getting “caught” would affect my life
5) I’ve heard of this site through providers I follow on social media’s as well as other local boards and yeah I have been a lurker for awhile now
I don't really think you are asking the board for "permission" on breaking your cherry with a hooker, or if it's the "right thing" to do, and for that I commend you, nothing is more pathetic than asking complete strangers on the internet to make a moral decision for you, kudos for not being "that guy"
It seems like you are more asking the how best to do this and not if you should do this in the first place.
If I am reading you correctly, let me offer you this advice. Younger providers are probably not the best choice to "deflower" you. You have said yourself that you would like a more experienced woman to guide you through your first time and I think that's probably the best thing for you. I don't know where you are located, but since you are going to have some issues with screening, which is why I asked you about "getting caught" doing this, I think a good approach would be to make this very same post on your regional board, make sure you get VIP so the ladies who think they might be a good fit can contact you privately and be prepared to provide some personal information about yourself so the provider you end up picking feels comfortable seeing you. I am sure that in every major market there will be at least a couple of mature providers willing to be your first.
I would have suggested joining P 411, but until and unless you decide this is something you want to continue doing, I don't think the investment into joining P 411 can be justified.
I will offer you one word of caution if you choose to embark on this as a "lifestyle" however. A lot of guys here have been burned with civvie relationships and now have sworn off regular dating in their 40's 50's or even 60's, but most of us/them have at least tried civvie dating before swearing it off. I think you would be doing yourself a great disservice if you went straight to fucking hookers for the rest of your life without at least trying conventional relationships, seeing no one but hookers can leave a person lonely, bitter and without the ability to interact with the opposite sex if you allow it to. I personally saw my first hooker at age 15, and I have been seeing hookers off and on, mainly "on" for my entire life, but I did take a few years off to get married, and I have had several LTR's in my life, i think you owe it to yourself to at least try both way before deciding one way or the other is the kind of sex life you are going to engage in for the rest of your life.
Especially the last part. I think life is about a variety of experiences and only bedding professionals would be cutting yourself off from a huge part of the rich experience this world has to offer. You may meet the one and only in civilian life or you may not; but you'll never know if you don't try. And you don't want to be 40 years old going on your first civvy date and finding yourself putting a plain white envelope on your date's bedside table. Learn early and often how to relate to women who you aren't paying to be nice to you. Absolute worst case you'll have more interesting stories to tell when you're 90.
Yeah you make a lot of sense. I tried to post it on my regional board but the site said it was on the wrong board, but I think it’s cause I put Newbie in the subject. But either way, I appreciate all the advice you’ve given me and how you didn’t just give me an asshole response lol. Ima try to post it in my regional board and see what responses I get.
Do you happen to know any mature providers who might be ok with it? I am in the south FL region by the way.
I definitely won’t swear off the civil life and will dabble in relationships when the opportunity arises.
Once again, thanks
My very first time was with a stripper. I was 18 and she was 35. She couldn't have been nicer. My sexual performance was awkward, uninformed and earnest. But she treated me with kindness and care. And I am eternally grateful to her for that. So you never know.
Quite a few move there when they get older because they're still many years younger than the old geezers who are their clientele.
Do a search of the reviews to find mature providers in Fla. If you need help searching the reviews, send me a PM.
You can make an ISO post "looking for mature provider" and then in the body of your post explain that this will be your first time "EVER" as well as your first P4P encounter.
I will warn you about one very possible eventuality. South Florida is full of old people as I am sure you are aware, and that extends to providers as well, fifty year old providers can still do quite well when all their clients are over 70, somehow I don't think you want your "first" to be a fifty year old. lol
That said, you can test the waters this way, you've waited 24 years another week or two won't hurt anything. I am sure some hot MILF with a tender heart and a soft body would love to be your first, for a fee of course.
Good luck, and please start reading the newbie board, there have been threads about just about every issue you can think of and if you can't find the answer to any questions you might have, there are plenty of helpful veterans more than happy to help you out. The only thing we ask is that as you gain experience that you pay it forward and become a helpful member of the community as well.
You covered it all and left me nothing to add . . . . . !
When was the last time I was left speechless? Oh wait, four months ago. Here's the link.
...when you made one of your typical bullshit claims. I called you on it and you ran away like the gutless little bitch you are...IOW, you were "speechless" as you often are when bullshit is called on you.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/politics-and-religion-39/hey-cur-de-liar-heres-your-chance-to-ram-a-link-up-my-fat-ass-365269?page=
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/politics-and-religion-39/cur-de-liar-is-a-cowardly-little-bitch--in-the-post-above-365348?page=
Just wanted to tell y’all that I took the plunge and saw a provider, I’ve posted the review. Thanks for all the input on this post.
TNT
Hope it was a wonderful experience for you.
Thanks for coming back and letting us know. One of the sad things to me about this newbie board, is that so many newbies come on here and ask a question, receive some great responses from all the helpful people on this board and then disappear. Many don’t even come back to their own thread that they started, let alone come back days, weeks or months later letting us know how the advice worked out for them. It’s always good to get feedback from the few that do come back.
I would say I “haven’t had the opportunity yet”
I do think the hobby can help with civil life, but I can see myself being with a provider in the future. I do not see the act as taboo as others
I am more attracted to the older ones, even mature. I think they would be more acceptable to my situation
No I do not think it would affect my life, other than legally
I’ve heard of this site through providers I follow on social media as well as other local boards
Age a provider should not even be an option. I realize with Covid-19 the bar and club scene may be not be much of an option but why spend money for an hour or so to get your rocks off when you can have something better. Get out there and make something happen but do it safely.
You might want to take this to the Newbie board where you will be spared the inevitable sanctimonious asshole "old guy" trying to tell you that you are too young to see hookers.
Yeah, we all know EVERY old guy here got loads of free pussy when he was young blah blah blah. At any rate we all know that kind of advice is hardly helpful. I try not to be judgmental when new posters ask sincere questions here, but once you get your feet under you I make no such promises, I can be as big an asshole as anyone here, but I don't believe in being overly harsh to new posters sincerely asking for advice, and that is why the "FAQ for Newbies" board was created, it's a safe space where people can ask questions without the fear of some jerk making fun of them.
Youth and deep self awareness rarely go together but in this case you're really going to have to decide who you are in order to figure out what you want. I was so insecure the first time I did this that I had terrible guilt for a while. Then again I felt guilty about masturbating when I was 14. That's just me. Some people will look at this as just another adventure and others will view it as some tremendously important line they're crossing. The fact that you're asking suggests you're unsure enough that you ought to at least think about it a while longer. If you have VIP access you can read a bunch of reviews and ask yourself how it would feel if you were the author. Excited? Or something else.
year from now you will be wondering
"how come I'm still here thinking about this or that? "
Nothing bad will happen. You won't go to Hell.
If you find a real gf and your life goes normal like a normal person after this, good, good for you and forget about the hobby. If not and you are here for the long run like me, welcome.
But by the sound of your post you sound like me way back when
so welcome
son
I got into the hobby in 2017 when I was 29.
I'm a fairly introverted guy so the bar/club scene never worked for me.
If you're seriously considering going Pro to get rid of your V card then I'd suggest Gabby from Chicago Cover Girls.
She's a real down to earth girl.
She made me feel like I really mattered and was a person.
You can have two different experiences first time ... shoot too soon, or can't keep it up.
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To avoid shooting too soon, don't hesitate to have her back off whatever she is doing if you start to feel anywhere near to cumming.
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Now on the other hand, if you watch a lot of porn, you might not actually find the real thing as stimulating and you might not be able to keep it up. If you do watch a lot of porn, stop watching it at least a week before your session. And don't jerk off for about 24-48 hours beforehand.
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Reverse advice if you think you'll cum too soon ... jerk off the day before.
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Nothing wrong with learning from an experienced lady. In fact it is probably better than both of you having your first sexual experience at the same time. Probably would be awkward. When you're with a girl (non-pro) it's your job to lead the festivities -- she'll typically appreciate that. Practice makes perfect.
I lost my virginity to a provider too. It was kind of a difficult decision, but it needed to be made. I decided to bite the bullet and join the hobby, rather than what what could easily be years to find a willing civvie taker. So I did the deed. I couldn't stop smiling for days, and was totally nonfunctional at work the following Monday. Make your first appointment on a Friday, because I'm pretty sure you'll be in no condition to work next day.
Now, which provider? See my reviews! I recently had a wonderful experience with Nora from 2KG Presents. She was really good at getting me to suspend disbelief; she's in her 20's, not too far from your age, which will make it even easier for you. Nora far from a YMMV lady; she'll deliver the basics to your satisfaction, no matter your attractiveness level. But the suspension of disbelief---making you believe, even just for an hour, that she's a civvie---depends on how well you jive with her. All in all, give her a chance. She has that feisty, playful vibe college girls usually have, which is an experience I'm sure you missed out on.
Engage in some banter to break the ice. Practice your foreplay techniques. Odds are, if you are young strapping man, you will loose your load fast. I remember my first fuck, a sorority girl who had experience. As soon as my cock was surrounded with that warm, wet feeling, BANG! I met her a couple of weeks later and the same thing happened. 1979. But enough about me.
One caution, and I think others have mentioned it, you might get spoiled. In the civilian world you may run into some ladies you really like, but will not do COF, CIM, BBBJ, etc. Then you must make the choice, trade off great sex for a great relationship.
All that being said, last time I dated was in the late 1980's and I found regional differences regarding performance. I lived in Texas and Maryland during that time, and those women could fuck. Moved and stayed in the mid west, not so much.
Good luck.
I would find a well reviewed lady in your area mid 30s or so and meets your flavor profile if you know what I mean.
I would book a couple of hours tell her you are virgin and that you want to learn a women Chicks dig this kind of thing, even pros. Take her advice lick her pussy, fuck her cum in her mouth and you should be on your way to self confidence. Repeat in about a month but first start a conversation with every woman you meet, every woman.
Convo can be awkward inane or pleasent doest matter. The key to pussy is opportunity.
Good luck
for sex with a civie girl down the road. For example you might just get your first blowjob from a pro who is exceptionally skilled at it and will your girl friend then disappoint you when she does not give you the same experience?
What if your first real love is a virgin who asks you if you are also? Are you willing to lie to her by saying you are or lie to her that your first time was with a girl you actually had some affection for. A lot of mongers here can live telling these lies but can you? I could be wrong but I doubt that even GA told his exes how he was deflowered?
I can honestly say that my first time was with my high school sweetheart and as clumsy as it was ,it was still one of the most special moments of my life that I will always remember. That being said I have had some of the best sex of my life with some of the girls here and moments with them that have totally blown my mind!
I am not the one to tell you which way to go but just remember if you even think this may cause you remorse in the future I would say wait! Then after having your guts kicked in by the woman you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with find yourself a well reviewed girl here and have the time of your life as so many others here have!
Good luck, stay safe, and have fun.
"waited." A few years ago, I read that only about 10% of girls make it to 21 with their hymen intact. A reasonable argument could be made that women in this group are mostly Jesus-freaks or visually undesirable in body or face. The majority of women would rather have a boyfriend/lover/husband who is experienced sexually and has sufficient skills to give her sexual pleasure. He won't get they by "waiting." Sorry, but I don't know what you were thinking to recommend a 24 year-old virgin keep waiting for love to come along before he loses his virginity. Guys without experience are setting themselves up to come home from work early one day and find their girlfriend/wife in bed with another man or woman.
for the record I was deflowered at the ripe old age of 14, by a "much older" woman of 17, lol and NO, she was not a hooker. I didn't see my first hooker for another year until I was a much older and more mature 15 years of age. lol
I don't have a single regret about having seen a hooker at such a young age, except perhaps to ask why I waited so long. lol Actually by the ripe old age of 18 I had been with hookers in five different countries. I have never regretted any of it, nor has it held me back where it came to getting civvie pussy.
As CDL so accurately stated, at age 24 he's waited plenty long enough. From what he has said in his posts, he's not waiting for true love, he's just waiting for an opportunity. Oh wait, who is that at the door? Oh, it's opportunity knocking, I think he should answer the door. lol
I have trouble thinking of you ever as a flower. 
Something deadly, perhaps?
I have trouble thinking of you ever as a flower.
I did it first with my high school girlfriend, who was already deflowered by her previous boyfriend. It was incredibly uncomfortable and awkward! In the next 5-10 years I sprinkled in hookers between civvy girlfriends, and I was grateful for the confidence , knowledge and experience these sessions provided. I recommend you try a handful of different women to get a taste, of what “good sex” is about! All of the experienced mongers can attest to having certain favorite providers who provide an exceptional sexual experience. I think having these sessions will open you up to a richer sex life and help you to please any civvy partner.
I was 22 when I first joined the hobby. It was a simpler time, both for me and for the hobby at large. I had less to lose if I got caught. CL and BP were still around, although I didn't trust them even then. I joined to offload my V-card, because I couldn't find a willing taker in the civvie world. After some non-starters and NSNS's, I found a great provider in a well-known agency. At that time, she was one of the top providers in my city. And her scheduler was amazing: she was very patient with my newbie skittishness and lack of knowledge.
My advice to the OP: don't laser-focus on providers your age. Many 20-something providers, although not all, have a low opinion of 20-something hobbyists, ironically. Which means they'll ignore your messages at best, and mess with you at worst, like give you fake directions and then ignore your phone calls. (That actually happened to me.) If you're not comfortable with seeing mature providers because they might remind you of family members, then your best bet are providers in early 30's. They're mature enough not to play games, but still young enough to make suspending disbelief relatively easy a 20-something man.
As for the older hobbyists on here, lay off the poor guy! He has his reasons for joining the hobby, as did I. I wish him well, and I hope things work out for him.