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So my first provider experience was a disaster...red_smile
westsideSE 3201 reads
posted

The provider did not do anything wrong, and in fact was very courteous and pleasant. I also gave her an O from DATY, gave me a chance to practice my oral technique after a very long time (I married a woman who does not like to give or receive oral...but that's another story :( )

I, however, could not get my soldier up and fighting. It was a combination of things (I was tired after driving to my hotel and then going out in the city, it was late and I was really nervous), but it was also due to me not communicating what I wanted. Since it was my first time I let the provider kind of lead the way, but there were things I wanted that didn't happen (as an aside, she did give me back half my donation when things didn't work out, a class move on her part).

My tastes are very simple but I know you can't ask for specific sex acts at least initially. When are requests ok to discuss, or should I just "go for it" when I'm with the provider and see what happens? Would something like "I'd like you to wear a specific kind of high heel shoe and I'm hoping for DFK" be something you can ask about, or would that break the rules?

Sorry for the rambling, I just want to make sure I can do the job on my next attempt. Any help is appreciated.

Sinful11958 reads

Sorry this happened.  But its refreshing that you are taking responsibility.

First, most providers honor dress requests to the extend they have that item.  I had a gent ask for WHITE high heel pumps (4 or 5 inches).  I do not own a pair and honestly am not going to buy a pair as I have NEVER had another request for them.  I have also had a guy send me a pic from a catalog of the attire he wanted to see me in, I sent him my size.. lol

First experiences are often difficult.  A combination of nerves, expectation and (as you indicated) your being tired.  

My recommendation about specific activities..
1) make sure you have done your research.  is the provider GFE.  if so, then asking for dfk is completely appropriate.  if not, then you may not get them.  pse providers sometimes do not kiss.  (also if your breath is less than fresh, ask to use some mouthwash or bring your own).  If you have been travelling and have not brushed your teeth or gargled in a while, have eaten recently or smoke.. this could be a deterrent to dfk.  

2) speak out during the appt.  tell the provider that you may possibly want to try something.  again, after making sure you know that activity is listed on her profile.  also give her feedback about what feels good.  quiet clients are often hard to read.. lol

And good luck on the next try!

SINfully sinthia

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StraightCountry2124 reads

You would be wise to listen to Miss Sin.  I have learned a lot from reading her posts and advice to others.  Her words are always helpful.  Good luck in your future experiences.

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Amertricot1944 reads

Good stuff, Sinful, both sensitive and practical. That sort of feedback is a big help.   ;-)

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chicken of the dicken1509 reads

Sometimes things don't go as one hopes, and I'm not really outspoken about wishes either.  I guess I wasn't raised to tell a woman to pop out that eye so that I can jam my jimmie in the socket.  Still, if it's a show-stopper for you, communication is the only thing that's gonna work.

As for the nerves, you just gotta get back on that whorse (sorry, couldn't resist) and ride again.  Find someone that's known for putting a guy at ease, if you think that helps.  I was with a lady the other night that was gorgeous WAY beyond my league, but I bucked up and did my part for mankind.  She seemed happy enough, and I had a great time.  So now I don't need to hesitate to call her again, and again, and again.

BTW, I'm gonna wait a bit before reviewing #25, so as to let time try to heal a wound or 2.

-- Modified on 7/30/2007 3:52:19 PM

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djoebones1443 reads

I am kind of shy myself, so the reviews can be very helpful. As far as when to ask, there is really nothing wrong with asking once the clothes are off. I have never had a problem with a provider as long as I was polite. Unless the reviews say otherwise (or she asks me) a simple "Do you mind if I ______." works well for me. If she says no, that's fine, but it can be a deal breaker for future visits, especially if it is something I really like (DATY).

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keystonekid1633 reads

If a lady knows you are new to the hobby, they will often ask "what do you like?"  If not, then you can say "I like a lot of foreplay including kissing, both LFK and DFK."  Be sure you have researched her reviews to know she offers DFK.  There are providers who do not kiss let alone with tongue.

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dragonfly20061563 reads

It seems that your reluctance to describe specific acts is based on not wanting to make the provider uncomfortable, and thinking that you're LE.  That's very considerate, but once the money's down, it's OK to be more direct.

As other have written be polite about it, but make sure you read reviews first!!  I go to one provider who gets annoyed when people ask her for BBBJ and anal when all her reviews clearly indicate that she clearly does not do those things.

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westsideSE1496 reads

Thanks to everyone for their responses, I will heed the advice given :)

In this case, according to the reviews the provider did offer kissing with tongue, but rather than ask for it I just expected her to do it (I brushed my teeth and had plenty of gum beforehand, so I don't think my breath was an issue *shrug*). Again, probably wouldn't have been an issue if I'd been a bit clearer.

My plan for a next attempt is to have a daytime incall, should mean more energy for me, and the provider can dress up a little more since we will be on her turf and not having to worry about suspicious glances in the hotel lobby :).

It was an expensive lesson, but a lesson learned nonetheless.

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