Many clients have referrals from providers here at TER.  I assume those referrals contain text.  Or something.  What's in them?  What sorts of things are said?  C'mon providers, give us some juicy excerpts.

My imagination runs wild....

"This guy looks like a fat version of Vincent Schiavelli.  He initially scared me when the boner turned out to be a large hunting knife in his pocket, but he never used it.  Offered to pay triple if I would pee on his face.  I did, and he paid."

"This guy is HOT!  And really nice!  Best of all, he has narcolepsy and falls asleep as soon as he gets a boner.  After an hour, I wake him up and tell him we had a great time, and he's never complained."

"Great client.  Likes long dinner dates at nice restaurants.  Owns a jewelry shop and likes to gift diamonds.  Only drawback is that he vomits when he cums.  Don't do mish!"

"Super nice guy.  Funny as hell.  Really cute too.  I would totally date him for free, if he asked.  Why doesn't he ask?  He's not married.  What have other girls got that I haven't got?  He thinks I'm not good enough?  Thinks he can fuck me and dump me?  Well fuck him!  I hate this guy."

"This guy totally reminds me of my dad.  Looks just like him too.  Even asked me to call him daddy.  Was a little weird because he got really into the role play, started saying he really was my daddy.  But my dad wouldn't hire a hooker.  He loves my mom too much."

"Awesome client.  Has some sort of brain damage from a car accident a few years ago which makes him unable to do math properly.  Since he can't count, he just shows up with a wallet full of hundreds and asks me to take out the appropriate amount.  As a joke, I took out about twice the amount, but he didn't seem to notice.  Then later, I said 'um, what about the money', and he paid me again!"

"This guy has magic fingers, and knows how to use them!  He got all the hair out of my tub drain in like 30 seconds flat!"

"My girlfriends all say this guy is no good for me, but I like him.  He dresses great.  Drives an awesome car.  Beats me up when I get out of line, and gives me the stuff I need to help me relax.  Last week I even got to keep 20% of what I made, and next week he says he'll give me a night off if it gets really cold outside again."

"It's Johnny Depp. I shit you not.  This. guy. is. Johnny. Depp.  And because he'd totally be in trouble if the media found out, he pays like $5000 an hour as long as you promise not to brag about sleeping with him."