Hi everyone,

I've been a long-time lurker, so this is my first message on the boards.  I have a question about something that just occurred and would like some advice/guidance.  

There is a provider (who I think would be considered well-reviewed, although with some negative ones, and even has posted on TER in the past).  She is newbie friendly, and would be willing to meet me without references (I haven't hobbied in many years and just getting back into the game, but I have P411 with employment verification).  She was originally scheduled to come to my city and I asked to pre-book a time, but she just cancelled her trip here (she changed it on her website too).  She now only has plans to come if it is with a specific travel arrangement.  She has asked for a 2 hour minimum, a travel fee, and overall 50% deposit upfront.  Her request seems reasonable.  But, I find myself wondering if this is a good idea for a first-time meet with a provider, especially given being a newbie.  I don't think she is running a scam (has the reviews, history, etc.), but also concerned that this may be too big of a risk for a first time meeting (her time, and my time/money).  Or, am I over thinking this?

Thank you for any advice or guidance you can give me.

I have been burned, even by well reviewed gals whom I had seen before, who took a deposit from me and then decided they couldn't make it and kept the deposit.  

On the other hand, most gals who I gave a deposit to honored it and even returned it if they cancelled their trip.

You will have to decide how badly you want to see this gal and decide if the risk of losing your deposit is worth it or not.

First, let me admit to being in the camp of " I don't do deposits"  So you know exactly where I'm going with this. I'm also in the camp of " I do an hour on a first date" so I wouldn't book 2 hrs. It will take you a couple of dates to figure out the amount of time you need to have a successful date.
Remember, no one, can tell you how to hobby, you'll develop your own style in good time.  

You didn't mention 2 important factors, what city you're in and is your financial status sufficient enough to risk the deposit and spend this type of $$$ for a maiden voyage in the hobby.

The city is important, if you're in a city with plenty of talent, either local or visiting, then there's no reason to take all this risk. You need to be patient, and  find another newb friendly provider.
 

Girls that tour will often cancel their visit to certain cities if they don't get enough pre-booked dates to make it worth their while to go there.  I'm like HH, I don't do deposits either.  IMHO, I would not do it, there's too many out there to take chances on someone like this lady, despite the fact she has reviews.  She probably is not going to get many dates where you are other than you, so she is sticking you with the bill.

Swim

there are reasons for deposits, if she travels to you or if she books accommodations for your visit only...  but as a returning newbie, you should avoid the deposit game.  Once she has your money, she has given no service...  she can just walk away & leave you with nothing.  
I would not pay the deposit...  it's just not compelling reason for me.  Unless she is traveling a long way, even a travel fee is a reach given you are already agreeing to 2 hour minimum.  There are many scams where the girl runs with your money...  no reason to set yourself up for it.  
I would agree to her donation without a travel fee & without a deposit.  I'd suggest "I'll see you when you are in my town next time".  You can still negotiate a travel fee if you choose...  but she doesn't get it until you are behind closed doors.

kay, so maybe I missed the gist of the post, but if a gentleman thinks I am going to block out a day to travel and entertain him on a "what if", he is sorely mistaken.  

   The OP has not entertained a courtesan for quite some time.  What if, last minute, he gets cold feet, or has an emergency at home?  

   I cannot imagine keeping a gentleman's deposit if I had to cancel.  I recently agreed to a date in Philly, and had to cancel.  I asked the gentleman who paid his deposit via credit card, if he would like a credit card refund, cash, or credit.  He opted for credit towards a futured date, which he recently cashed in when he traveled to DC.

   Not all ladies scam gentlemen!

Hugs and Kisses,
Kell

Just my 2c.

But, couple of things. Why see someone with more than one negative review? One can be a fake review, just a bad karma thing, or whatever. But more than one, or left-handed compliments in positive reviews--run away Forrest.  

There are many ladies on P411 that will see a newbie...being on P411 helps you.

Also, Ask yourself why you are so focused on seeing this particular lady.

If you specifically request that a lady drop everything and travel to you, I think it very reasonable that you will be asked to pay travel and lodging up front. That way, if you flake, she still might be able to put an ad up or contact some friends to see to give her a solid ROI. Also, you two should agree up front what to expect if you flake, or if she has to cancel.  

YMMV is an important term. If your gut instinct is to trust someone because of the chain of communication you've had, trust them. If not, move on.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the extremely helpful comments.  There aren't many forums out there that are so educational, helpful, and civilized (of course, not all of TER is that way all the time, but the newbie section definitely does what it was meant for).

Thinking about it more and seeing some of the comments, I've decided to be patient and pass this time.  I agree, the risk/reward just doesn't add up (and it does smack a little bit of trying to get me to foot the bill for a trip here).  I don't like to be in situations with a lot of potential downside, limited upside, and no potential recourse (with this proposed setup, the risk would be entirely mine--if I bailed, the provider would have enough to cover time and travel costs, so no risk for her).

hiddenhills--I'm in the Washington DC area, and have the means to absorb the hit if things didn't go well (even though I'd rather not part with even a dollar if it were a scam).  I think your comment about the city is a great point--there are so many beautiful ladies who come through this area or are based here (of course, not that many are newbie friendly, which is part of the challenge).

harbor_view--that was the first gut thought that came to mind--"I'll see you when in town next time."

Beautywithbrains and magoo--I definitely don't think the provider is being unreasonable asking for what she is asking for.  But, I didn't request that she travel.  She was advertising traveling here on tour and I just wanted to book time as part of her trip.  Things changed quickly, and she suggested this option instead.  My sense is that she isn't trying to run a scam, but that even though she canceled the trip, it is close enough that she is will to travel for a day trip with the right incentives.  But, it just doesn't seem like it will work out this time and not something I'm willing to risk.

Thanks again everyone

I think you are making the right decision for the right reasons. I fall firmly in the no deposit camp but I can clearly see why she might want one, I just don't see much upside to giving one. Wait for her to tour the area again, while you wait for her you can see one or more of the many wonderful ladies who wont ask you to risk your treasure prior to meeting her.

Oh, I think when things "change quickly" then I quickly become suspicious.  

If she advertised a tour, and you were just trying to get on her dance card--I see no reason for a deposit, frankly.

Be choosy, be safe, and have fun.

it was more trouble than it was worth.  I had to get a MO and send it to a PO box.  We did have the date but it was only a so-so experience so I didn't repeat.